to update...

ermm.. to update,

not that nothing has happened, especially between the 2 of us. you know. Things had happened, just that I don't think i can talk abt it here. Some good things happened, but in general, the conclusion i got from all these good things is bad. o.O Haha.. too bad then. If you know what i'm talking about, good for ya! If you don't, then forget it :D

Ermm.. what happened recently arh? Ermm.. OH! I finally got my sketchbook scanned. I mean, My friend helped me scanned. So actually i don't really know how much he had scanned. That zek larz. Bugged me from monday to thursday for my book, not forgetting that he bugged me to join competitions too, so that he can take my prize away if i ever win that canon digital camera. xD Ok larz, i know that he's just trying to help. So, well..

Anyway, during the days without my sketchbook, i had no where to kill my boredom. So i ended up drawing on the cover page of my econs notes. :X hahaha.. deco arh. Then i found this nice webby that serves as a platform for young budding artists to gain some exposure. Whichever way you put it. I know you know what i'm trying to say. You know i know you know right? Yeah, i know you know i know you know what i'm saying. xD hahaha.. ok let's end this madness here.

Next, Sunday's studying session. Hmm.. OH! I went to this jap restaurant for brunch with my family. Not bad arh. Then e usual great world lorz. Reach there around 1 pm and I saw Justin again. But i doubt he saw me. Yep. And Junie finally can join us to study, coz her drama ended le. hahaha...

Lotsa mosquito bites, so irritating!

Homework's piling higher as i continue to be ignorant. The amount of things that i need to catch up with are expanding. Oh no! All because i'm lazy. OH! I got back my result slip, and the remarks part is kinda HAHAHA...

Here's what it says:

Si-Min is a bright and fast learner. She requires minimum supervision in learning and has the ability to achieve excellent results. She has to be more committed to reaching her target in her studies. Si-Min gets along well with her peers.

Yep. Bright and fast learner.. wow. xD The good things that she's mentioned, in my opinion, are just her opinion of me. Coz she's my math tutor, and math is supposedly my stronger subject. :P Though i only managed a borderline E this time round. eeks..

Erm.. shhh.. dun tell ppl. I skipped math for e 6th consecutive time today! xD shhh!! hahaha.. of course i wasn't e only one who skipped. Ming Yuan and Jo skipped to do GP, I skipped because i'm a bad student. :D and of course, i saw e usual ponner, zek, and his friend. hahaha.. very sian what, can't help it. *shrugs*

So i stayed in the library, looking at a nice view while trying hard to memorise some chinese stuff. After a while, zek walked past, saw what i was doing, and left. Then, swee sien came up too, but i just acted as though i didn't see him. Well, i always do that, to everyone i mean. Find it kinda awkward to say hi and --silence--. If you get what i mean. *wink* But swee sien, unlike the dao kia (me), walked to me eventually and said hi. So i offered him maltesers. Hahaha.. Eh, he came quite a few times, so i don't know when was it that he saw what i was doing, and said, "eee.. chinese" and left. Hahaha.. why is it tt all of them are so terrified of chinese? Zek didn't say anything and left, and swee sien left me with the "eee.. chinese". Hahaha.. but it was kinda funny arh.

What else happened? Erm. If you're interested in what happened between us, you can approach me, and see if i wanna tell :D

他再次让我爱上他。但这一次，我会小心不再陷得太深的。

A cute family

While at GWC macs today with piggy, a family with 2 young boys were sitting directly opposite me. I noticed them because of the way their daddy talked to them. He's like having fun teasing them, playing with them and all. They looked so happy together. Then the mother came, looking all pretty and modern. :D They started eating and the 2 boys were having fun laughing at funny things, playing, eating ice cream. Hahaha.. they're a lovable family.

Then, the older boy went to sit at the baby chair beside me. Then the dad was laughing, "later you get stuck, cannot come out arh!" Hahaha.. i wanted to laugh along, but paiseh. hahaha... He ran back to his seat to eat, and after a while, went to sit at the baby chair again, with his legs hanging outside because it's not meant for him. :D After some time, his younger bro came to join in. Hahahaha.. and you konw there's this buckle on the seat right, the 2 of them actually buckled themselves. And the elder brother couldn't unbuckle. He was sitting right beside me. So i helped him unbuckle while laughing. Then you know kids, he ran back to his seat after he's unbuckled to the baby chair, and he said, "I'm free" to his parents. Hahaha...

Surprisingly the younger one can unbuckle, but after he buckled himself again, he couldn't unbuckle it. Hahaha.. hilarious kids. I thought he could unbuckle, so i didn't help him. Anyway he's a bit far. So in the end his mother came to unbuckle. Hahahaha.. So he went back to his seat too, which is just a table away from me. He sat back-facing me, but after a while, he turned back to look at me. So i stared at him too. Then he looked so cheeky that it tickles. So i started smiling, and he smiled too. Hahaha.. SO CUTE ARH!! anyway, both of the boys are adorable. They are blessed with good features, esp the younger one. :D They're blessed with a good family too! Then his father teased him for looking at girls.

Hahaha.. I love that family. It's very rare that i actually don't mind a family make some noise in gwc macs. :D They really are a bunch of lovable ppl. :D

I want my future family to be like them too!! Maybe i'll marry tt little boy nx time. HAHAHA.. bad joke. eeks.. eww.. but well, he really is adorable.

Oh, and i bought new stabilo markers today. =) so happy! Though i spend like 12 bucks on them. :D 3 markers(i love the complementary colours) and 10 felt pens. What more can i ask. I'll be having more colourful days from now on. :D GREAT!! I find that i always buy markers with matching colours. :D Whereas kah yin buys random colours.

童年

踏进家里，不知道为什么，

突然想起童年时的一件事。

想起来，还蛮好笑的。

想起的，是我爸妈房间的衣橱。

不知什么时候开始，

我每晚在听到爸爸开门的声音时，

变为躲进那衣橱里，

等待爸爸进房间的那一刻。

那应该算是小孩子的天真无邪吧！

我每晚都会那样的躲在那里。

有时候爸爸回假装被吓到，

又有些时候会反过来吓我。

想想，我这个女儿

应该很令他失望吧。

I wonder why my tears roll down so easily these few days. Today, there has been about 5 times when i nearly drop some teardrops. For that last sentence up there, my tears finally dropped. I wonder why i cry... don't worry, i'm quite sure it's not because he treats me as a friend only. For some moments, i thought about my grandmother. She has lymphatic cancer, whatever that is. Perhaps i'll go search on that later on. Anyway, it's kinda serious. When i first got to know about it, I didn't really think about it. But right now, it seems like i'm starting to register this piece of information. "Death is just a part of life" was another quote that i saw.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

-Alfred Tennyson-

The Truth

今天，

我看清了事实。

终于能够说我确定

他只把我当朋友。

他看见我的反应，

跟他看见朋友的反应，

是一样的。

唉~ 现实是如此之残酷，

但我们只能接受那残酷的现实。

消失吧！

那讨厌的感觉，

赶快消失吧！

消失吧！

Went searching for quotes today due to the fact that an acquaintance of mine just experienced loss of a life very dear to her. And I saw this quote about life, it's something like this...

Three words i've learnt about life : It goes on.

Pirates!!

Just had my oral examinations this afternoon. It was kinda horrible. I don't know the specific terms required in order to ace my oral conversation section. *dead* I have to say that this year's harder than last year's. Last year's was a total chicken feet. This time round, I can't be sure of getting a distinction for oral. Most probably, it'll just be a merit. Sigh...

BUT!! I watched Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest in the evening. Hmm... I watched alone and laughed like mad all through the movie. Hahahaha... Damn hilarious! It's violently ticklish. If you're afraid to die of laughter, i suggest you give it a pass. *wink* Oh, but the lady beside me laughed even louder with her kids, so i guess my laughter was not being heard. :D Oh, do watch it! Do watch it! But the ending's erm... hahahaha... go watch it!!!

I forgot to ask the librarian if they've seen a black sweater in the library today. Hopefully i'll remember to ask tomorrow morning =X Hahaha... Tuesday's a going to school for econs, civics, and PE day. Econs's necessary, civics's redundant, PE'll be better in the morning. Well, at least i'll have 2 and 1/2 hours to sleep first thing in the morning, or to wake myself up for econs lecture. Whichever. xD

Realised that chicken soup's not bad. I read the chinese ones, a few of them, while waiting for my turn (oral exams). =) Shall borrow them one day. One day.. which i don't know when. Hahaha...

Stop thinking... STOP THINKING YOU HEAR ME?! Well, guess i can't hear myself. *shrugs*

Gone through a very depressing period of time that lasted 2 days. Oh, don't worry, nothing to do with him, if that's what you're guessing. I guess i was just kinda stressed and fed up. I'm sick of myself. Sigh... Just can't seem to change the way i live my life fast enough. I'm still so lazy. Gonna die real bad for prelims, and 'A's. Sigh sigh sigh... Unless, miraculously i start working harder than ever.

There's no freedom of exit in love

My butt hurts. =X What a beginning to a new blog entry. hahaha... why does my butt hurt? Well, i slipped while playing netball yesterday coz it started raining. Hahaha... quite funny arh. Actually, yesterday's game wasn't tt great. I wasn't really in the mood to play in the first place, so didn't really participate. But i found the whole game kinda funny. I was like laughing all the way. Hahaha.. oh ya, I fell, and only just now, i remembered the last time when ming yuan fell in pe. Her fall was so cartoon! She fell flat on her front. Hahaha.. as for me, i slipped and fell on my right.

As for exams, I got 48 for GP, a B/C grade for CL A, an E grade for math, and an F for econs. There's really a whole lot of things that i need to do. How am i gonna achieve my ABC for prelim 2? eeks... for math, 4 grades to jump to an A! But i know it's possible as long as i practise enough. Econs is the one i'm worried about. But on a bright side, I see improvements =) I need to work on essay writing and case studies. But before i do that, i need to know the contents first, which is why i had been failing econs. Haha.. i hadn't been studying. Jia you bah!

还是发现，我总是会想起他。朋友跟我说话时，我心里想的是他。没有课上时，满脑子想的也是他。好无奈，但又如何？他可以像电池一样，为我充电，却又可以把我的灵魂夺去，是我无精打采。

朋友跟我说了一些事，让我吓了一大跳。该收敛，该收敛。但是，话又说回来，我又没做什么。又不是我做什么，是他做什么。管我什么事啊！哼！不管了！我早就不该管了！

Love is never at a state of perfect competition because there is no "free exit". In other words, there are barriers to exit. Haha..

No medicine to cure me >.<

无可救药，我仍然会等待一点点的光芒出现。就算明知火苗已不会在燃起，但我仍会不知不觉地，像个笨蛋似的，等待那一点点的光芒。

也许有人会说，我这样子只是在保持乐观的态度，不是什么坏事。但是，事情是这样子的。。。 我几乎能够很确定的说，我对他而言，只是个朋友。因此，再怎么坚持，再怎么等待，也是没用的。最后只会让我成为世界上的其中一个为爱而成为笨蛋的人。

被雨淋了大概十分钟吧！

从开始在雨中赶路的那一刻，

心里便奢望他的到来，他的帮忙。

奢望。。。

都说了，是奢望啊。

当然，最后，

就如命运中的安排一样，

他并没有出现在我眼前。

命运，是想劝我放弃吧。

因为他不会是那个

陪在我身边，不让我受伤，不让我难过，

永远都会逗我开心的人。

他不会是的。

不会的。

奇怪了，今天怎么突然又多愁善感了？

或许是因为今天是雨天吧。

或许是因为我一大早

便孤零零的淋着大雨走到学校吧。

或许是因为我一整天都想着他吧。

又或许，

是我无药可救了吧。

*grin* hee hee... ^^

Today's generally a happy day ^^

It started off with the beginning of tricking simin into believing that i forgot all about her birthday and only made a birthday card for mel. It worked off quite well in the end with mel's assistance. xD But well, i guess this kinda little jokes are sweet =) And i did spend a whole lot of time cutting colour papers into teeny weeny bits of colour papers, and spend even more time sticking them on the card. So well, can't say i did a perfect job, and i can't say that it's creative. But well, at least it shows how much i care about them. =) So much that i only bothered to make cards for them. Haha...

Eh... Mr. Chu's lecture today was kinda funny. He was saying that he doesn't bother about scolding us anymore, neither does he care about making sarcastic comments. But well, he had been sarcastic through e whole lecture. xD Oh, but several of us found some of his sarcastic jokes kinda funny. Well, it's like this. Some students gave lame excuses that they devoted their june hols to preparation for competitions and stuff like that. So he said sth like "If you wanna give also don't give such lame excuses lar. You should give a better reason like 'Oh, I've sprained my brain during e hols, that's why i couldn't think properly during e papers.' "

Oh i love that "sprained your brain" xD. It's funny! Though not everyone thinks the same way. Well at least some of us found it funny. Hmm... Perhaps i like it because it rhymes!! xD hahaha... Perhaps you might like to use that excuse the next time you did badly for exams =X

Oh that stupid jason~! Hmph!!! We measured height and weight today for PE, and.. and.. and.. i didn't grow at all, still stuck at 169 =(. And that stupid jason asked me, "you're still 169 arh?" *pouts* and after he measured, he came and told me that he's 171!!! WHAAA!! not fair. I wanna grow taller too. 3 cm.. juz bless me with 3 cm. The rest of e PE was torturing arh. NAPFA's long over and we actually had to run 4 rounds (guys muz run 6 rounds). Then we did 30 push-ups and 15 sit-ups. Eeks... To think that i had been looking forward to PE all this while. But next week onwards it's games!! ^^ hooray!! Sadly, we only have 3 more weeks of PE. Damn sad arh... I want PE!! Oh.. i gained weight, or rather stayed around my weight. I'm now 59.1 kg. Sigh.... SIGH..... I better not cross over to the 60 calibre because i know that i won't be able to get back to e 50 calibre. (i have to confess that i've been eating a lot recently :P)

Perhaps it's because i find it kinda clear that i can't expect much from him, such that ELT he does makes me kinda happy already. And yes, he is part of e reason why i'm happy today. It might not be the major part, coz i think the major part lies with myself, but it just adds on to the grin, making it wider. =)