Regarding him...

是我不懂得把握机会，还是这是命中注定？

Sometimes, I feel that the chance is there, but I'm passive. I always wait for him to do something and seldom am the one who initiates. Why? Because I keep thinking that he'll find me a bother if I initiate a chat or sth. So to prevent this kinda stuff from happening, why not let him do the job? But when he does the job, I didn't react very well too. Sigh...

If all that had happened was due to fate, I really would like to say, "FATE! CAN YOU STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH ME?"

Inspiring experience

Came online one day -- I think it was Sunday -- and bumped into this video on Youtube, featuring this illustrator drawing his stuff. From that video, I didn't really got "WOW"-ed, but after I visited the link it provided, I "WHOOAAA"-ed. Haha.. Yep, those of you in my class might have heard me blabbering abt him several times a day. He's none other than Alex Noriega. I'm here introducing an illustrator to you! I think i'll be doing this more often, digging out artists from the net. I want a scanner too, so that I can join in the posting of lots and lotsa illustrations! Scanner for my christmas present anyone? :)

And here's one of his illustrations during his free time :)

Talking about scanner, imagine all the tech tools that I need, or rather want (since i'm not really an artist now)... Scanner, Wacom tablet, Photoshop, and more... :X Sigh... where am I gonna get all the money. When it comes to this kinda situation, I really envy those rich brats who don't even know how to appreciate what they've got. Well, who am I to talk bad about them when i'm not rich but too don't know how to appreciate what I've got! Haiz...

Time when I don't wanna talk to him, or am too busy to chat, he approaches me; When I feel like talking to him, he doesn't find me (neither do i find him). Call it fate? Sigh... When I don't wanna see him, I see him almost everywhere I go. When I long to see him, he's no where to be seen. Guess we're just not destined, sad. Bahhh... shall not talk about him. HMPH!

Got more chunking notes from econs. It's microeconomics now and the notes are not micro at all. It's like THIS THICK. Haha.. of course you won't know how thick it is, but that's not my concern. :X

11 days from now and I just lost my momentum during the weekend. Blame it on kinia for returning? xD Or blame it on Alex Noriega for inspiring me to draw more? (erm... I actually completed 2 pieces within 2 days after visiting his blog, the third one's almost finished too) Hopefully, I'll be able to upload my illustrations soon too. My only solution now is to ask one of my friends to help me scan, but everyone's busy now. Oh, or I can ask Mr. Lee, but he's busy too. xD Or I can go to NMA lab to scan, but i'm busy too. :X

Tomorrow's GP prelim and I don't even feel like touching GP. My life's almost revolving around econs now when I only count those times I study. >.<>

从前 vs 未来

古文明总给人一种浪漫的感觉，很有文化气息，很雅致，也很美。今天的主体灵感来自于《海贼王》。你一定觉得很奇怪吧，两者之间有何共同点？其实，是读者寄的画作，里头有一幅的背景是旧式的火车，而尾田先生的想法是: “还是旧式的火车好！”之类的。突然，就让我想起了古代的文明。

古时候的房子，古时候的井，古时候的艺术品，古时候许许多多的东西，不需要人的陪衬，便能显得出它的高雅，华丽气质。但若问起比较现代化的东西，并不是说所有物品都失去了这特别的气质，只是显得比较冷漠。未来，更不用说了。设计中的“未来”总显得很干净，但也很冷漠。白色，银色，塑胶，铁片。。。 我们对于未来，总会想起的颜色，便是如此。

是否，人也是如此呢？是否，从前的人们比现代的人们来的浪漫，有文化，有情调，有气质。。。或许吧。我是个活在现代人，对于过去，我不完全了解，最多也只能凭着书上说的。对于未来，我一无所知，最多也只能听科学家说的，抑或听听人们对未来的“梦想”。美丽的语言，崇高的礼节，悠久的文化，到了现在，已不再是生活的一部分，各成了一种科目。那么，未来呢？人们以后是否仍会面对面的，保留着那种特殊的感情，还是会把“足不出户”挂在嘴边呢？

未来会如何，要看现在。

我到底想说什么？我也不清楚。

GB has many sore losers

Haha.. yeah, i changed my blogskin again, but this time round, i think i'm gonna stick with it for a while :P

Actually, I like this skin. I've seen this skin before, but back then, i was too lazy to change e colour of e fonts to suit a black background (my bg was white previously), but now that i've changed e font colours, i guess it's alright :D

Had some gunbound juz now, not a good day today. Played with a sore loser who started scolding me a bitch juz because he lost badly. Well, this kinda person's not uncommon in online games, so i merely ignored. Then, when i finally lost to him, he said "you lose bitch". And, i continued to ignore him... Well, i have to admit tt i was getting to be angry, but well, not angry enough to scold. If I start scolding, it really means you're getting on my nerves. Finally, he made me reached that peak by saying that i'm a noob, juz not as friendly as that. :X Hmm.. i don't mind being called a noob actually, but it's just that it's HIM calling me a noob! So, I scolded him back, saying tt he's not any better (but i'm friendlier than him), and he started scolding some stuff. Like.. urghh.. and then he scolded "you asian piece of shit" LIKE WHAT?! so i scolded him back "you aussie piece of shit". I then felt tt i'm being unfair to the other aussies, so i added "you're a disgrace to all australians". HA! He said that asia hates me. Well, all i can say's that he's a sore loser. :) Luckily, the nx guy who came in was SUPER NICE! so i got happy again xD

met up with mama and all today! :) had fun? Ermm.. can't say tt we had fun, but it's not a moment to be missed because it's not often that we can all meet up like that. Oh.. Kinia grew taller. *pouts* she's 172 cm now *pouts even more*. 172!! MY IDEAL HEIGHT! And she's actually in third year uni now, when she's just 17. hmm... she's graduating at 19, tt's e age we get into e U, if i can even make it there.

Guilt: Haven't been studying today besides doing a few mcq questions from e econ tys.

I'm hungry

what's up with us?!

Hmm... towards the end of last year, I was reminded by my dad during a visit to NSC that I was once an interesting subject to the many doctors and trainees there. Well, apparently I had some skin disease when I was bornt and it's kinda rare, i mean, it's very rare. o.O Haha... yeah, and according to my dad, the doctors were like asking e trainees to look at me because not every doctor gets a chance to see my kinda condition. =S Hahaha... rare baby. Well, but i'm healthy now =)

Alright, so that's just me with the rare skin disease when I was bornt. So, I just really wonder what's up with my family? You see, I get this really rare skin disease, and now my maternal grandmother gets this never-seen-before cancer. (Why aren't we this lucky when buying 4D or toto?) You see, one of my uncles just called to talk to my mum. The first topic that came into my mind was "ah ma's cancer". Well, it's quite an easy guess, and it's correct. So, actually my grandmother had visited tan tock seng 2 times already, do find out what kinda cancer she's down with. The first time, the doctors didn't manage to find out, so they needed more sample. Some grumbles from our side, but then again, we're not experts in this faculty, can't really say much. So, they went for a second time, and we waited for the results. That's why my uncle called. They are still unable to find out what kind of cancer my grandmother's under. So my mum suggested in the phone to ask for the medical reports from this "lousy hospital" and visit general hospital to try our luck again. And the thing is that, according to the doctor whom my uncle had spoken to, more than one doctor's looking into this case, and more than one hospital is investigating. My uncle had been told that more than 10 doctors from the different hospitals in Singapore had sat down together to discuss this matter, and that they had never came accross this cancer before.

So the concern now is that we're asked to let them try a third time and the possible consequences that it'll lead to. I guess the first concern will be the welfare of my grandmother. You know old people are usually passive about operations and check-ups, moreover, to endure the pain for a third time! What's more, for 2 times, they had been unable to find the root of the problem, so are they able to find that out this time round? The doctors had actually admitted that there is no guarantee that they'll find it out this time. So, it's kinda unfair. And i doubt she'll want to go for a third time. But I think it's really up to her.

The second concern, will most probably be the financial part. We're not rich; even though there are 9 siblings to share the burden, each family does not have that much of a surplus to subsidise they're no-guarantee investigations. But I really wonder, when my mum told me about what went on through e phone, if they can pay for all these investigations, or at least subsidise us because it does not only benefit us. But well, it's back to the first concern, the danger that my grandmother faces if she goes through it the third time (though I don't really know what danger it poses) and her fear.

Sigh... It's kinda problematic now.

It's my dad's birthday today. We had planned to eat out. But in the end, they bought food home. It's partly our fault larz, my bro and I. :P Well, I slept after reading econs for a short while, slept for more than 2 hours. And my bro fell asleep after dota too. Haha... so we end up eating at home. But well, I guess to him, as long as we're together, it doesn't really matter. =)

It's dancing tomorrow, and gathering the day after tomorrow. =) YAY!

FAMILY :D

Kinia's coming back!! :D It's been such a long time since we've last seen her. She messaged us yesterday. Kah Yin (aka piggy) first received e message. But she didn't receive e first part of e message, so it didn't sound right.. Haha.. I checked my phone some time later and found out tt she messaged me too, and i got the full message :D. So we got to find out that she's in indo now, and she'll be coming to singapore!! With Kinia coming back, it'll mean that we'll be having a clique gathering in gwc! YAY!!! It's hard to find time for everyone, but with such a rare friend coming back to visit us, we HAVE to make ourselves free. :) Even if it means i have to skip dance for it. Hahaha.. kidding. Think i'll be going for the friday lesson bah.

Had been seriously attempting to study recently (not today) and i can't say that it's been successful, but at least i'm improving. I've a lot of things to learn for econs, a lot of things to practise for math, a lot of things that i should know for GP, and a lot of things to memorise for chinese. yeah.. that's pretty much it, if i exclude all the drawing practices that I have to engage myself in occasionally so that I might have the hope of getting into that course, and all the dance practices I have (though I've just went last sat after 3 weeks of absence).

Came online, saw that he's online. After activating windows media player, he's gone. Well... fate. Haha... Leopold Stokowski rocks! Hahaha.. THat's so random. :P

Just found out today that Eileen had been kinda scared of me before i started to really talk with her and xiao wei this year. She told me that even during e chinese new year period, she had been a bit scared. Her reasons being that the look i give her makes her think that I don't like her, and of course, the intimidating aura I give off when i'm not smiling. Ha! What can i say... she's not the first one to point that out to me. But i'll look silly if i smile all the time right? Well.. heck it.

Just 75 days to A levels. I regret that i didn't manage to pluck up courage to retain voluntarily. SIgh...

bwahahaha...

Why the math teacher cried

That's the title of an email i received from my friend. But when i opened it, I laughed like mad... HAHAHA... i guess the teacher laughed too hard and tears came out. HAHAHAHAHAHA... and i'm here to post that email here so that I won't be clogging up some other ppl's inbox.

E X P A N D

Images

Eh.. not exactly a blogging day. :D juz came to post some pictures. Erm. actually, i just got this pictures from fred. And they are pictures i drew while chatting with him on msn. :D Erm.. I drew them with the mouse, so please forgive me for the wibbly-wobbly lines, and the horrible proportions.

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I do remember this cat. Kind of. Haha... I love drawing cats... there's my usual miaow miaow, but this is a different cat. Inspired by that little black cat I used to hang on my phone, and which i lost in school. The black cat, i mean. :(

=======================================

oh ho ho.. i do remember this little girl. Don't know why. Haha.. he sent me this some time ago actually, but he has forgotten about it, and sent me again today. But i didn't forget, so i rejected. Hahaha..

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This one i don't have impression. Actually, when fred sent me this, I was kinda surprised, like "You mean I drew this?!" Hahaha.. I find it quite nice eh. Plus point: I drew it with a mouse!

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Erm.. this is kinda my usual drawings on msn bah. I always draw the side views on msn. Have no idea why i can actually draw a better sideview with a mouse than with a pencil/pen. *raise eyebrows* Erm... don't have impression coz I always draw this. Haha..

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Now that I've presented some of my drawings to you, would you mind commenting? Come on, i know you won't mind that right.. :D

无声的对话

。。。无声的对话。。。

这五个字来自昨天傍晚，我在地铁列车上所碰到的两位聋哑人士。

看见他们俩之间的“对话”，

突然就出现了这五个字。

同时，脑子里也出现了两个人的画面。

他们相互看着对方，

进行无声的对话。

不记得画面的细节，

只知道它带点伤感。

。。。 。。。 。。。 。。。

第一篇，换来的是一句话。

第二篇，换来的是两个字。

第三篇，换来的是。。。

毫无回应。

这默默的冷淡，

让我肯定了一切的猜测。

虽然有时候，总希望我能提起勇气，告诉他所有的事情，但是，我知道就算是以后再也没机会见面了，我也不敢开口的。常听到一些故事中的主角，暗恋的对象其实也暗恋着主角。只因为主角始终未开口，所以他也没主动。这凄美的情节，毕竟只存在于故事中。他不可能跟我经历同一种痛苦，对他的爱慕，不可能会回来的。为什么？看他看见我是地反应，听他跟我说话的感觉，读他回我的简讯，电邮，所表现出的漠不关心。。。　一切的一切，都在叫我放弃。要就此松手，并非易事。当中的艰辛，痛苦，与泪水，足以让你断肠。

Thank you!

A big

Thank You

to all who bothered to respond

Ermm.. It's kinda funny to say this. Told zek tt e favourite is orange and he suggested we submit everything. -_-" haha.. but nvm. At least i get to know the public's taste

:)

Feel that i'm obliged to inform you people about this competition, though i doubt that you all will read this entry. Haha.. it's actually organised by "The New Paper", and I think it's for BeYourselfDay. *raise eyebrows?* Haha... Yeah. If i win, I'll get a canon camera. But I doubt i'll win. :/ Nevertheless, I still have to thank all those who had helped. Sincere.

Besides this TNP BeYourselfDay competition, I might also be submitting my drawings for Noise Singapore. :) Once again, I doubt I'll get anything much. Doubt my pieces will be chosen, but it's still a learning experience. Yep. But if they were to be selected, I guess I'll be more encouraged and motivated to study coz i'll be more determined to get into NTU. Haha.. what an excuse. But that doesn't help me get selected does it... Sigh...

Well, so just wish me luck. :)

GOOD LUCK!!

I helped you ppl say le. :P So bhb right.. Hahaha...

And Gerald saw my new hairstyle for the first time today. :/ He said i look like ying tao xiao wan zi. o.O Heh............ Some more is e black version of xiao wan zi lorz.. -_-" And he actually thought that the back of everyone's head is flat... Luckily JJ corrected him. Hahaha...

Illustrations

Hey people, I have some drawings here that need comments urgently. Please tell me which one is nicer. Preferrably provide your reasons too. Juz tag at e board your comments. Thank you! Oh and i need it urgently for a competition. So, that's how urgent it is.

Yup, just tell me green, blue or orange. Thanks!

Regarding academics

Hmm... due to the fact that our whole class is weak in first ODE, we had to do worksheets on it. So, we did. And my momentum was broken since that one friday when i skipped school due to stress? depression? Whatever. So, Miss Chua gave me a hard time, telling me off, nagging and all. I know that she's just concerned, but she had put it in such a way that i'm this cocky girl who thinks that her 1st ODE is so great that I don't have to do these worksheets, when in fact, I'm just plain lazy. But one thing she mentioned is kinda true, she had said that from the answers i gave in the worksheets, she could see my attitude towards it. And you might ask, why did i say that it's kinda true? Well, because right after i got told off, I did worksheets 5 to 9 (when all others are already at 10 and above =P). Erm.. that's not the point. The point is, before she scolded me, my worksheets came back with lotsa circles and crosses. Worksheet 4 came back ending with a "Poor!". And what happened to worksheets 5 to 9? I only made one mistake, one careless mistake where i forgot to write the minus sign. Hahaha.. guess her method worked on me. But I guess that only works for math. =P

Generally, I'm still lazy.

As for economics, sigh.. By saying that I spend minimal time reading up on econs, it is an understatement. Yep! It's that bad. I've been trying to read the policies. I've completed monetary policy, moved on to fiscal. Please don't "wow" me because i've only read through. Mind you, let me emphasise again, it's READ THROUGH. Since reading through does not equate to studying, I haven't studied a bit! Oh no!! Yeah.. not that I'm not aware that there's only like 90 days left? It's just that i can't bring myself to work.

BUT

I've made the first step to improve my grades. I joined the tuesday's REAP. And guess what, I'm under Mr. Chu!! YAY!!! I bet he's strict enough to make me improve by at least one grade. Which means, I can pass econs for prelim 2!! HOORAY!! But of course, I'm hungry for more than just an E grade. Something he said really made me feel "YEAH! that's the way!!". He said, if you're not going to do the assignment, never mind, you'll just be kicked out of this programme and you won't have a chance to come back! That totally will make me do my work because it's really a rare chance to be taught by him. Although Tuesday's REAP is not as great as monday's, it's better than nothing. =)

Chinese? Hmm... It's still quite fine now. Not scoring, but passing. Well.. Effort required to score!

All in all, this is a reflection entry to make me realise how far I am from my ultimate goal. Because besides all these academics matters, I still gotta brush up my drawing skills, polish my brainstorming power, boost my creativity juice, and whatever's required to get into ADM. Joining competitions is one of the many ways. But it can boost your confidence level if you win, and make you feel so inferior if you don't win.

Whatever!

Erm.. Guess for those people who were in econs class yesterday, this isn't a piece of news. Yesterday was a horrid-day. It triggered off some emotions I thought were well-kept inside me, and caused me to drop some tears.

Well, the world is unfair.

Was late yesterday. From my previous experience, i know that if i walk in quietly, the security guard won't even notice. But I was so darn unlucky yesterday that this girl named... let's call her "D" walked behind me. She sped up and walked quickly past me. It's alright you know, not that I hate her for being faster. It's just that she was stomping SO DAMN LOUDLY that the security guard noticed her AND ME. And guess what did the "nice" D do? THAT LOSER RAN AWAY!! So the security guard stopped me, and guess what.. right when she was writing down my details and talking to me. I was being SACRIFICED by the rest of the latecomers who were later than me!! THIS BUNCH OF LOSERS JUST WALKED THROUGH WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT HOW THE GIRL WHO SACRIFICED FELT!! Talk about men being heartless creatures.

Well, but it's all over. I stayed back for SSS alone. But i saw some friends there, who stayed back to study. So i wasn't that lonely, though i sat alone. By that time, i've already given in to fate. Just that i saw D during lunch and it totally pissed me off. And just FYI, D's not really popular in school. She might be kinda famous, but she's not well-liked.

Gossips from mel, yuan and me was shared during PCCG today. Gossips about B, you won't know who. Haha.. B's a scary person. Eeww.. Once again, Jo and Simin didn't come, though i heard from mel that they alighted with her. They already reached the schoolgate, but were late.. Sigh...

Had a haircut today. Fringe's sloping down. It's kinda bobbed coz the hairstylist said tt i need bobbed to make my face look wider. I have a long face, you see.. Well..

I wanna get new pairs of contact lense because some clothes don't match my specs. yeah... Hopefully I can ask for some money from my mama, and buy e contact lense on Saturday. =)

awaken

梦醒了，就不该留恋。

是时候面对事实了。

仿佛刚做了一个美梦。

但已醒了。

很想继续呆在那梦境里，

但我知道不该留恋。

毕竟，那也不过是一场梦。

忘了吧！

其实我并不很难过。

我庆幸我喜欢上他，

因为他是如此的好，

如此的不一般。

但这也只是单恋，

没结果的单恋，

曾经很痛苦的单恋，

偶尔难过的单恋。

快过去了。

美梦过后的噩梦，

很快就会过去的。

只要我这么想，

它就会过得快点吧！

至少，

我曾经做过那么一场美丽的梦。

to update...

ermm.. to update,

not that nothing has happened, especially between the 2 of us. you know. Things had happened, just that I don't think i can talk abt it here. Some good things happened, but in general, the conclusion i got from all these good things is bad. o.O Haha.. too bad then. If you know what i'm talking about, good for ya! If you don't, then forget it :D

Ermm.. what happened recently arh? Ermm.. OH! I finally got my sketchbook scanned. I mean, My friend helped me scanned. So actually i don't really know how much he had scanned. That zek larz. Bugged me from monday to thursday for my book, not forgetting that he bugged me to join competitions too, so that he can take my prize away if i ever win that canon digital camera. xD Ok larz, i know that he's just trying to help. So, well..

Anyway, during the days without my sketchbook, i had no where to kill my boredom. So i ended up drawing on the cover page of my econs notes. :X hahaha.. deco arh. Then i found this nice webby that serves as a platform for young budding artists to gain some exposure. Whichever way you put it. I know you know what i'm trying to say. You know i know you know right? Yeah, i know you know i know you know what i'm saying. xD hahaha.. ok let's end this madness here.

Next, Sunday's studying session. Hmm.. OH! I went to this jap restaurant for brunch with my family. Not bad arh. Then e usual great world lorz. Reach there around 1 pm and I saw Justin again. But i doubt he saw me. Yep. And Junie finally can join us to study, coz her drama ended le. hahaha...

Lotsa mosquito bites, so irritating!

Homework's piling higher as i continue to be ignorant. The amount of things that i need to catch up with are expanding. Oh no! All because i'm lazy. OH! I got back my result slip, and the remarks part is kinda HAHAHA...

Here's what it says:

Si-Min is a bright and fast learner. She requires minimum supervision in learning and has the ability to achieve excellent results. She has to be more committed to reaching her target in her studies. Si-Min gets along well with her peers.

Yep. Bright and fast learner.. wow. xD The good things that she's mentioned, in my opinion, are just her opinion of me. Coz she's my math tutor, and math is supposedly my stronger subject. :P Though i only managed a borderline E this time round. eeks..

Erm.. shhh.. dun tell ppl. I skipped math for e 6th consecutive time today! xD shhh!! hahaha.. of course i wasn't e only one who skipped. Ming Yuan and Jo skipped to do GP, I skipped because i'm a bad student. :D and of course, i saw e usual ponner, zek, and his friend. hahaha.. very sian what, can't help it. *shrugs*

So i stayed in the library, looking at a nice view while trying hard to memorise some chinese stuff. After a while, zek walked past, saw what i was doing, and left. Then, swee sien came up too, but i just acted as though i didn't see him. Well, i always do that, to everyone i mean. Find it kinda awkward to say hi and --silence--. If you get what i mean. *wink* But swee sien, unlike the dao kia (me), walked to me eventually and said hi. So i offered him maltesers. Hahaha.. Eh, he came quite a few times, so i don't know when was it that he saw what i was doing, and said, "eee.. chinese" and left. Hahaha.. why is it tt all of them are so terrified of chinese? Zek didn't say anything and left, and swee sien left me with the "eee.. chinese". Hahaha.. but it was kinda funny arh.

What else happened? Erm. If you're interested in what happened between us, you can approach me, and see if i wanna tell :D

他再次让我爱上他。但这一次，我会小心不再陷得太深的。

A cute family

While at GWC macs today with piggy, a family with 2 young boys were sitting directly opposite me. I noticed them because of the way their daddy talked to them. He's like having fun teasing them, playing with them and all. They looked so happy together. Then the mother came, looking all pretty and modern. :D They started eating and the 2 boys were having fun laughing at funny things, playing, eating ice cream. Hahaha.. they're a lovable family.

Then, the older boy went to sit at the baby chair beside me. Then the dad was laughing, "later you get stuck, cannot come out arh!" Hahaha.. i wanted to laugh along, but paiseh. hahaha... He ran back to his seat to eat, and after a while, went to sit at the baby chair again, with his legs hanging outside because it's not meant for him. :D After some time, his younger bro came to join in. Hahahaha.. and you konw there's this buckle on the seat right, the 2 of them actually buckled themselves. And the elder brother couldn't unbuckle. He was sitting right beside me. So i helped him unbuckle while laughing. Then you know kids, he ran back to his seat after he's unbuckled to the baby chair, and he said, "I'm free" to his parents. Hahaha...

Surprisingly the younger one can unbuckle, but after he buckled himself again, he couldn't unbuckle it. Hahaha.. hilarious kids. I thought he could unbuckle, so i didn't help him. Anyway he's a bit far. So in the end his mother came to unbuckle. Hahahaha.. So he went back to his seat too, which is just a table away from me. He sat back-facing me, but after a while, he turned back to look at me. So i stared at him too. Then he looked so cheeky that it tickles. So i started smiling, and he smiled too. Hahaha.. SO CUTE ARH!! anyway, both of the boys are adorable. They are blessed with good features, esp the younger one. :D They're blessed with a good family too! Then his father teased him for looking at girls.

Hahaha.. I love that family. It's very rare that i actually don't mind a family make some noise in gwc macs. :D They really are a bunch of lovable ppl. :D

I want my future family to be like them too!! Maybe i'll marry tt little boy nx time. HAHAHA.. bad joke. eeks.. eww.. but well, he really is adorable.

Oh, and i bought new stabilo markers today. =) so happy! Though i spend like 12 bucks on them. :D 3 markers(i love the complementary colours) and 10 felt pens. What more can i ask. I'll be having more colourful days from now on. :D GREAT!! I find that i always buy markers with matching colours. :D Whereas kah yin buys random colours.

童年

踏进家里，不知道为什么，

突然想起童年时的一件事。

想起来，还蛮好笑的。

想起的，是我爸妈房间的衣橱。

不知什么时候开始，

我每晚在听到爸爸开门的声音时，

变为躲进那衣橱里，

等待爸爸进房间的那一刻。

那应该算是小孩子的天真无邪吧！

我每晚都会那样的躲在那里。

有时候爸爸回假装被吓到，

又有些时候会反过来吓我。

想想，我这个女儿

应该很令他失望吧。

I wonder why my tears roll down so easily these few days. Today, there has been about 5 times when i nearly drop some teardrops. For that last sentence up there, my tears finally dropped. I wonder why i cry... don't worry, i'm quite sure it's not because he treats me as a friend only. For some moments, i thought about my grandmother. She has lymphatic cancer, whatever that is. Perhaps i'll go search on that later on. Anyway, it's kinda serious. When i first got to know about it, I didn't really think about it. But right now, it seems like i'm starting to register this piece of information. "Death is just a part of life" was another quote that i saw.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

-Alfred Tennyson-

The Truth

今天，

我看清了事实。

终于能够说我确定

他只把我当朋友。

他看见我的反应，

跟他看见朋友的反应，

是一样的。

唉~ 现实是如此之残酷，

但我们只能接受那残酷的现实。

消失吧！

那讨厌的感觉，

赶快消失吧！

消失吧！

Went searching for quotes today due to the fact that an acquaintance of mine just experienced loss of a life very dear to her. And I saw this quote about life, it's something like this...

Three words i've learnt about life : It goes on.

Pirates!!

Just had my oral examinations this afternoon. It was kinda horrible. I don't know the specific terms required in order to ace my oral conversation section. *dead* I have to say that this year's harder than last year's. Last year's was a total chicken feet. This time round, I can't be sure of getting a distinction for oral. Most probably, it'll just be a merit. Sigh...

BUT!! I watched Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest in the evening. Hmm... I watched alone and laughed like mad all through the movie. Hahahaha... Damn hilarious! It's violently ticklish. If you're afraid to die of laughter, i suggest you give it a pass. *wink* Oh, but the lady beside me laughed even louder with her kids, so i guess my laughter was not being heard. :D Oh, do watch it! Do watch it! But the ending's erm... hahahaha... go watch it!!!

I forgot to ask the librarian if they've seen a black sweater in the library today. Hopefully i'll remember to ask tomorrow morning =X Hahaha... Tuesday's a going to school for econs, civics, and PE day. Econs's necessary, civics's redundant, PE'll be better in the morning. Well, at least i'll have 2 and 1/2 hours to sleep first thing in the morning, or to wake myself up for econs lecture. Whichever. xD

Realised that chicken soup's not bad. I read the chinese ones, a few of them, while waiting for my turn (oral exams). =) Shall borrow them one day. One day.. which i don't know when. Hahaha...

Stop thinking... STOP THINKING YOU HEAR ME?! Well, guess i can't hear myself. *shrugs*

Gone through a very depressing period of time that lasted 2 days. Oh, don't worry, nothing to do with him, if that's what you're guessing. I guess i was just kinda stressed and fed up. I'm sick of myself. Sigh... Just can't seem to change the way i live my life fast enough. I'm still so lazy. Gonna die real bad for prelims, and 'A's. Sigh sigh sigh... Unless, miraculously i start working harder than ever.

There's no freedom of exit in love

My butt hurts. =X What a beginning to a new blog entry. hahaha... why does my butt hurt? Well, i slipped while playing netball yesterday coz it started raining. Hahaha... quite funny arh. Actually, yesterday's game wasn't tt great. I wasn't really in the mood to play in the first place, so didn't really participate. But i found the whole game kinda funny. I was like laughing all the way. Hahaha.. oh ya, I fell, and only just now, i remembered the last time when ming yuan fell in pe. Her fall was so cartoon! She fell flat on her front. Hahaha.. as for me, i slipped and fell on my right.

As for exams, I got 48 for GP, a B/C grade for CL A, an E grade for math, and an F for econs. There's really a whole lot of things that i need to do. How am i gonna achieve my ABC for prelim 2? eeks... for math, 4 grades to jump to an A! But i know it's possible as long as i practise enough. Econs is the one i'm worried about. But on a bright side, I see improvements =) I need to work on essay writing and case studies. But before i do that, i need to know the contents first, which is why i had been failing econs. Haha.. i hadn't been studying. Jia you bah!

还是发现，我总是会想起他。朋友跟我说话时，我心里想的是他。没有课上时，满脑子想的也是他。好无奈，但又如何？他可以像电池一样，为我充电，却又可以把我的灵魂夺去，是我无精打采。

朋友跟我说了一些事，让我吓了一大跳。该收敛，该收敛。但是，话又说回来，我又没做什么。又不是我做什么，是他做什么。管我什么事啊！哼！不管了！我早就不该管了！

Love is never at a state of perfect competition because there is no "free exit". In other words, there are barriers to exit. Haha..