weirdo

Let's start talking from 31 august...

went to school as usual, went through all the mundane activities, reached the very last one, the celebrations of teachers' day. While people are enjoying their show, I was shutting myself off from my class, drawing and drawing, going through the day my way. Don't ask me why, I just suddenly felt like drawing, so i just drew. My whole class is right at the front, all high and enthu, while i'm just at the corner of the canteen, drawing quietly. Suddenly, a face popped beside me, with a pair of eyes staring hard at my "artpiece". The face with the pair of curious eyes belong to one of the teachers of my school. Like all those who had seen my irresistable "artpiece", she praised me, saying that my drawing's really nice. I just said "huh" as a reply, and she said that i'm supposed to say "thank you", which i replied "oh" without a "thank you". She merely chuckled and asked one of her student, who was nearby and staring at my drawing too, "very nice right?" and he agreed. Then another guy came and said that it's really nice.

You must be thinking (esp fred, coz you always say that), "this girl's being so proud of herself again, boasting and boasting". Well, perhaps, perhaps. But actually, I'm reviewing the comments i've received so far. Why do they think that I draw well? My drawing's nice just because it's so precise, so detailed, so small and fine, and done only with madness, nothing else. Everyone can do that if they want to, just that not many are as mad as i am to attempt. You just need a pinch of madness, 500 ml of patience, a Pilot G2 0.5 black pen, a piece of blank paper or just a blank space on a sheet of paper, if you're very mad, you might need a pen refill and another piece of paper. Ya.. that's all. You can try too, and you'll see what i mean that it's not that difficult.

Come to think of it, people seem to think that I'm what I'm not. Haha.. confused? I always hear things like "did you take art?", "are you from basketball?", "you mean you're not from track?", "you must run well right?", "you're a dancer?!", "you must be real smart right! Your school results are surely very great", "You must be from a very rich family to live in town", "You're 56 kg? But you don't look like it!"... ... ... ...

yeah.. great isn't it? great. I can bluff people even without the intention to bluff them. Cool like the container in crescent and the study room in innova right? Oh.. that happened when i'm playing bridge with my friends too. Haha.. it was funny when I wanted to cheat only one of them but ended up cheating all 3 of them, including my own partner. Hahaha.. I'm a pro.

Alright, so back to 31 august.. erm.. oh ya i was drawing. after some time, I was drawing to kill time. Waiting for everything to end and i can leave and meet kah yin and company to play. Finally, it all ended. Walked alone before Cassie joined. While waiting for my train, I saw Ming Yuan. She greeted me warmly (haha.. her "hei hei"s and mushy mushy stuff XD). She was with her sec school friends, going for an outing, a gathering. After that, saw Jason too. The first thing he said to me was "dao kia". Haha.. he's forever calling me dao, nothing new.

This is going to be a really really long entry. Giving up? bye bye then.. reading on? read on then.

Met kah yin and wai sze at Tanglin CC, studied (didn't even finish one qn) for a few hours until 5, when we went to play badminton. KP popped in, think he had intended to ask kah yin to play bball or sth, or just to say hi. Kah yin asked whether he wanna join in, he did. He doesn't seem that KP at tt time eh.. haha.. oh.. oh.. oh.. and that P2 boy brandon (not sure if it's spelt this way) is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute!! Now i know why kah yin's so obsessed with him. He's irresistable! A really nice little boy. Haha.. lovable and adorable. So adorable that kah yin claimed that janice will stop hating kids so much when she meets him. Hahaha.. That's how adorable he is! Power right? Had a really fun time with him, made me feel like going there more often just to play with him. =D

Went to GWC with kah yin after that, when it's like 9.45 pm. Haha.. yeah. Borrowed 10 bucks from her, and bought, and bought, and bought.... MAYDAY'S LATEST CD!!!!! am listening to it now. Heh heh.. soooooooooooo nice!! soooooo soooooooooooooooooooooo nice!!! yay! thanks kah yin!

that's all for 31 aug.. proceed.. 1st sept.

nothing much on this day. Was supposed to meet up with kah yin to study and play badminton. Ended up sleeping till 3 pm plus plus plus.. heh heh.. sorry larz.. need to recharge since my life's a slow suicidal case. Watched Naruto!! I found out that my left arm has some kind of allergy or insect bites. I'm quite worried that it's allergy, or some kind of skin disease. Why am i worried? When i was younger, in primary school, I had 假麻. It's like rashes all over the body, very itchy, very uncomfortable, very difficult for me to sleep. I'm worried that it's that again.

lately...

I'm deciding whether I should stay as i am, which is an easier choice, or to really work hard, mug, do all my homework, study real hard. It's harder for me to choose the second one because i'm never determined, never persevered to the end. Always bored with what i'm doing, and switch to another task. Well, it's just that i suddenly have an intense feeling of being the second one.

wrote something in my drawing book just now,

"but suddenly you walk away from me"
That's The Waltz. As for me, there's a sudden urge of shutting myself off from the whole group of you and enjoy solitude. To prevent conflict, to increase efficiency as I raise my concentration level, to stop all these feelings of betrayal. With solitude, there's no need to trust anyone, no chance for any of you to betray me, to disappoint me.

No tears, no sadness, no diappoinment, no hatred, just peace and quiet, like death.

Am I being weird here or am i trying to be weird? I don't know, I don't care. That's just me, for now.

The things that i'm worried about, teachers' concern, whether true or feigned, participation in groups, something very important in future.

What do you think of my plan?