randomness from insomnia

It sure seems like now that we've graduated from jc and temporarily (or permanently) will not be experiencing life as a student (or undergraduate for that matter), there isn't much to blog about. Life's been losing its colour though I'm sure that once I stop this slacker way of life, the colours would be back. Hmm... it's kinda contradicting isn't it, that i'm actually blogging now about how I don't blog as often. Haha... I just felt like slotting in an entry.

Well, it's not that I don't feel anything recently... it's just that all the uncertainties, worries, fears, and whatsoevers are already part of my daily life, such that they are not so special anymore. Anyway, nothing special has been happening, regardless of how much I wish for it. Growing 3 cm overnight could have made my day, or week, or month... but this'll never come (naturally). Oh well, I guess I should give up that 3 cm.

Life's been kinda bad recently though I've gained freedom for quite some time already. Hmm... Of course, the not-so-good side of love has constantly been absorbing my happiness, but now, I seem to be getting minor headaches every now and then. Perhaps this has something to do with my unhealthy way of life, which I suppose GK would know. Haha... I've been sleeping late, or if you would prefer, very early. Hmm.. well, between 4 to 5 am, to be more precise. If that isn't weird enough, read on... I stay awake not because I have things to do.. not because I'm addicted to games or just can't detach myself from "Prince of Tennis" anime on YouTube.com. I can just sit on the sofa in the living room, staring into space, listening to silence... Occasionally, I'll look out of through the balcony, staring at the usually black road which now has an orange tint to it due to the lamps.

Through these crazy nights, I came to realise that it's not that easy to exactly "listen to silence" in my living room. When you're deep in thoughts, well.. fairly easy to drift to a different dimension, but when you're seriously drifting randomly from one thought to another, you can't help but gradually notice the clock ticking extremely loudly, and sometimes, the sounds of a car passing. Ha! For that matter, I'm glad to say that the roads in my area are quite quiet unless some crazy racers zoom pass. Well, they used to do that quite often, but come to think of it.. I don't remember hearing them recently. Hmm.. nice. :D

Headaches are horrible... they really make me feel sick. I will suspect if I'm having a fever, and will sometimes be disappointed to find that I do not have a fever. Haha.. weirdo. Headaches also make me feel like puking... urgh.. i hate this nauseous feeling. Why can't we fall ill without feeling nauseous? haha.. I kinda feel like falling ill recently. Eh.. As in I want to fall ill. But well, it seems like I am gonna fall ill if I go on with my way of life. Hmm.. oh well.

URGHH..