a lil down

Don't know why.. i'm a little down recently.. Fine. Maybe it's more than just a little.

Decided to watch da chang jing some days ago... to finish it. Watched.. and cried... Well.. there are many sad parts, and parts that'll make you feel so touched, parts that are so lovey dovey in the sweet sweet way... they all made me cry. Finished the book i borrowed from the sch library, "man and boy" by tony parsons --hope i didn't remember wrongly -- and there are many parts that made me cried too. Like when the grandad died... when harry had to part with his beautiful boy, when cyd left harry... ... ... they all made me tear.

And the thing about my mum raising her voice... Haha... just now, i got so irritated just because my bro spoilt my plan by using my study area... Then while watching tv, i'm suddenly reminded of him. Hate it when things don't go the way i want them to. Hate it!

Don't know why. I suddenly told myself that I should stop talking about him in my blog. Then, i'm reminded of the time i promised not to talk about him anymore... ha.. look at what i've been doing all this while? broke my promise totally. So i kinda promised myself again to stop blogging about him, but i'm not sure if it'll be an empty promise again. I really don't know.

Well... it took me about one hour last night to sleep. I slept after 3, btw. I dreamt a sweet dream, really nice. It was about a guy, that i hoped was him... that guy was nobody i know.. just a guy. He was very nice to me. What did he do? How did he look like? I don't remember at all. I only rememberd that it's a good dream with someone nice to me. I only rememberd that when i woke up from tt dream, i was hoping that he can be that guy who treats me so well in my dreams. So, though it's a good dream, it still made me kinda sad when i woke up.

Everything's all over. It's time I learn to let go. Quoting 'man and boy', "Love means knowing when to let go". And something i read in e chain email from a friend of mine, "it takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget."

This is just one painful part of my life. I know that in the near future, i'll be having a good laugh at how i used to suffer liking someone who can never be mine and who will never be there for me. Though i know that, right now, it's too painful.