三叔公

In Memory of ...

14 December 2007, Friday
He was in pain, and was sent to the hospital by his son. Emergency. There was something wrong with his intestines, or at least that's what I've heard. He had to go for operation immediately, and the result was no good news. The doctor told the family to prepare for the worst. He was in the ICU after the operation. Relatives were informed, relatives were informing other relatives, relatives paid visits, showed their concerns. The wife was persuaded to go home and take a rest.

15 December 2007, Saturday
I called my mother after dance practice at about 9 pm, to ask if there was food at home, there was not. I received information from her that he passed away, and that I should go straight to his place. There is no need for me to buy food back as food is prepared there. I imagined his place, packed with concerned relatives, with food prepared... by who?

I reached the building, looked up and see no light from his windows. I walked up the stairs slowly while calling my mother. She said to walk across the street, it's at the void deck there. So it was not his apartment to visit, I didn't know that everything would be done so fast, but it all seems logical now that I looked back. Was everything this fast when it was my grandmother who passed away?

I reached before my parents did, and saw his daughter and daughter-in-law. I greeted them. She seemed to be coping well, but I guessed she was just putting on a tough front. I saw his wife, who seemed to be better than I thought, but like the daughter, I thought that she was just trying to be strong. I saw his son, who is the first one I thought looked sad, but was still fine. I saw his grandson, whom I think was not as close to his grandfather as he used to be. My family came. We stayed till around midnight.

16 December 2007, Sunday
I was told that his birthday is 17 December; the next day. My family had to wear the white shirt and pin the coloured cloth on our left sleeves. His eldest daughter and her family came back from their overseas trip late at night, when most people have left. She looked grim. Her younger sister walked with her to the coffin to see him. She was the first person there I see crying so honestly. It was impossible to hide it, I guess.

I saw him for the first time since he died. The tip of his nose was already turning grey, even with the make up on his face. Was it like this with my grandmother? I don't remember seeing that happening with my grandmother.

17 December 2007, Monday
Some buddhists came to chant some sutras, the family members and close relatives have to join in. His wife, daughters(and their family), daughter-in-law did not join in. The daughters are christians, the in-law was pregnant, the wife... I wondered if she couldn't get herself to do it, because she would be too sad. We went home around midnight again.

18 December 2007, Tuesday
Monks came to do the chanting, we were not required to chant along with them, but have to go along with the rituals. As usual, it was just his son and eldest grandson joining, with the closed relatives. His siblings are either dead, or too old to join in the kneeling. I stayed with my parents till around 2 am as my mother had to do the fruit hampers.

19 December 2007, Wednesday
This is the day when he will be sent to the temple and be reduced to ashes. We reached before 9 am, the ceremony started at 10 am. It began with the monks chanting, and we joined in the ritual, with more relatives joining us. This time round, the daughters stood by the side to watch, even though they cannot join in. The wife joined in the final part, when the family and those who joined in the ritual had to walk around the deceased's body.

This is the first time that the wife joined in, and the first time that I heard someone cry in the wake, first time I see her cry so sadly. So i guess she didn't join in previously because of this. The other person who cried quite badly was his second sister. While walking around, after the 2 old ladies showed their immense sadness, I saw my brother's face in pain. I was surprised to see that he was crying too. I kept telling myself to force my tears back. It was very hard. When we walked back to our original position, my tears did drop but i managed not to go as far as grimace.

It is sad to see someone die. It is even more sad to see someone you can relate to die. His death is sad, but not sad enough to bring me such pain. I think that it is normal to die, especially when one is old. I guess we all have preparations when we age, so it is nothing that shocking, though it will still be very painful to those closest ones. What pricked my heart was to see the wife crying. It was so painful.

We had to walk after the vehicle carrying the coffin for a distance. When we are about to start walking, the wife ran out, unable to see him leave just like that. Leaving her just like that after all those years. Relatives held her back, trying to console her. when we left for the temple, she did not come with us. I asked my mother if she came along, and my mother said, "No, if she had came along, she'll cry so hard that she'll faint." It was another round of chanting, and we walked around the body one last time. As I walked back, I saw her eldest daughter standing by the chairs. Her eyes were closed, I think she was praying. The ceremony ended with the coffin being sent to be burnt.

All this while, I only dropped a few tears. Death is a normal part of life. On the way back, in the bus, sitting beside my brother, I couldn't help but think about the wife who cried so hard, and the children trying so hard to be strong. I started shedding tears again. The emotions were so intense that I actually grimaced for a while. These tears are tears for the living, not for the dead.

--The Deceased--
He is my third granduncle. My grandfather's youngest brother. His wife used to take care of my brother and I during the day when my parents work. If I am right, it was from when i was in kindergarten till around 9 years old. They are a family of good people. They nurtured their kids well and the children are all doing very well. They are all happily married, and are all living good life. Although we are not as close as we used to (only representing myself and that family) ever since we stopped staying there after school till our parents end work and come to fetch us at night, I still like the family a lot, even if I do not show it. It really hurts to see my granduncle's wife in so much pain.

Depression

Sharks... I think my depression is coming back. I'm starting to lose even more of my self-confidence. I can feel myself hunching back, going deeper... I can sense that I long more to be in the room.. I need to get hot water all the time, but it meant that i have to go out, walk past some doors to reach the pantry... and i am very unwilling to do so. It's a bother to keep asking my roomie to help me take hot water esp when i'm the one who wants it.

I really seriously doubt tt i can get through this sem. There's still so much to do before the end of sem, so many things to complete and submit as portfolio. I'm hopeless.. head-bangingly hopeless.. Sometimes I feel that I'm really on the verge of breaking down, crying my lungs out. It's the kind of feeling I had previously, from december to ard jan/feb. That same kind of feeling. I know this time is not as bad as that time, but still it's bad enough. Especially when i have so many things to do now.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING!! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP LOOKING AT ME! STOP TALKING ABT ME! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

I feel so much like spending the whole day on my bed

Line of the day

Imaginations can make you so happy,
before reality pulls you back.


I've finished watching claymore.. seems like there's gonna be season 2. It's really cool, but the ending's a little too draggy.

Sin

Eventful Friday... plagued with guilt. What have i been doing all this while when... -censored- ?

Claymore's really cool. Pure addiction. At episode 19 already... and it's been only 2 days.

Hi.story WAH

Yes... i'm currently more into reading up on WAH. haha.. wahaha... WAH = Western Art History. Don't ask me why... it's interesting (lack of the word "very" because it's a module with hw, tests, grades and deadlines). :) Didn't read it since the first chapter... which is classical greek.. So i'm now reading hellenistic greek and roman empire... Interesting... Did my essay outline on the Altar of Zeus.

Because we don't learn history from greece, then rome and so on (not like those ang moh kids), it's pretty interesting to see bits and pieces of it in the art history textbook. It's like we're learning abt the general history while learning the art history... or, we learn it through art history... Cool huh... Anw, it's time i go back to art history :) It's like the only subject i feel like doing now... haiz... i'm buried in the pile of hw... and it's all because of my attitude...




*omg.. I actually checked it a few times! I can't believe it*

I give up

Oh wow... I wanted to upload photographs but it seems rather hard using my mac.. hmm.. haha.. shall do it nx time then.. what a waste of time.. OH WOW... i just learnt that mac can only use html at blogger... AHHHHHH.. what is this? WHAT IS THIS?!

惊醒

猛然发现，原来我还在乎。

虽然感觉的确是淡了，但是。。。我真的还是会在乎。

若是别人，我应该会不理会。但就因为是你。。。

是我多心吗？想想，若是好朋友的话，我也应该会像对你一般。但是，如果真是好朋友，就不需做你所做的事了，不是吗？总觉得你的那个行为代表着你并不是很在乎我。还是，我应该庆兴至少你还记得我呢？明知道我不认同你的某些行为，也知道你不是最终的那个人。但我就是会在乎。我想这就是最痛心的事吧。唉。。。

我拿不定主意

舞蹈到底对我来说有多重要呢？我也常常想，想我到底跳得好不好。翘了这么多课，软度和感觉都退步了。但是，今天又重新拾回一些信心。我还在考虑，是否要参加南大的华族舞蹈团。我担心我心态不对，不是因为想跳而加入。一旦抱着这种心态，再怎么跳也不会高兴的。而且，老师教的方式并不是我习惯的方式。哎。。。 我现在应该比较担心年底的舞蹈考试吧。加油啊！



曾几何时，想起你不再那么痛苦。我总觉得安慰，因为我知道你不是我在找的人。或许，一开始就知道了吧。

Life(less)

Hey hey hey hey hey.... so long nv blog le... i'm bored now, doing my accurate drawing of texture no. 1. haiz.... just a 5 cm drawing's taking forever. I can't imagine doing this for the rest of my 4 years here.. But then again, time flies like ZOOOOOOOM... while studying in NTU/ADM. So I guess I won't even realise by the time I graduate (if i can even pass this sem).

As usual, my attitude isn't helping me much. It's creating a pile of undone work to be done, and the pile is never going down... it's climbing higher and higher after each tutorial and lecture. Yes, I'm talking about my "bo-chap" attitude, which if you are close enough, you would know. Hahaha.. I need to CHANGE!!!

Life's been hard in a different sense ever since school has started. It's a different kind of "difficult" from working. I'm kinda out of touch and even worse, I don't have art background to help me out. To put it simply, I'm not good at what i'm doing now and I'm not working hard to reach my goals. At least back in jc, math was my forte and it's alright to skip lessons and not do tutorials. It's a total different case here now!! It's quite stressful when your fellow ADMers have art background. Well, not all of them, at least MOST of them. Eeks..

Even worse news? I'm falling sick again!!! This is the second time within a month! I haven't recovered from the last time, still coughing a little, and now everything's back! The sorethroat, the flu, and yes... the SNEEZING! I've been sneezing like mad.. Giving my table and the things on top a shower of saliva (and on some unfortunate occasions, some mucus as well). Haha... I hope this time I don't pass it to my roomie again. And I keep feeling so sleepy.. even when i get enough sleep. More than enough, in fact. I've been resting a lot during the weekend. Resting TOO MUCH!!

I wanna join Archery Club :( Went for the one-day-beginners'-class a few weeks ago, and they asked me to go for the selection, but I can't. All because of dance! Haiz... i've sacrificed so much for dance that sometimes I really feel like quitting it, stop dancing once and for all. But i'm not dumb enough to do that. I know i'll regret. I want to finish it. Just one more grade after this year and i'm done! But the timing sucks! Can't they change it?! Haiz... Archery's practice clashes with dance practice and 3 absence from Archery practice = out of school team. :( Wonder if i can still go for selection nx sem coz dance exam is end of this yr. HOPE!! HOPE!!!

Very much NOLIFE now... haiz...

Back to school

Oh wow.. how time flies. I'm back to school. =/

I have lessons every day(meaning monday to friday)! And wow i take 6 subjects! What's worrying is that my lessons begin at 9 each day except friday. How am I going to wake up?! My dear friend/roommate will have to wake me up eventually :P SO UNFAIR! Her lessons start at 10.30 earliest!! :((

K I'll be staying in Hall 11, any nice ppl you know staying there can intro me, then at least i'll have frenz :) Eh... went to clean up e place just now, and realised that we can't open our windows coz the window pane is locked and has net. The key's stuck and can't be used. o.O So we'll have to talk to the hall office tomorrow... Oh which is later!!

I've to reach school before 10 tmr!! Orientation starts at 10!! AHHHHH!!! How to wake up lorz.. it's like a 1 hour journey, excluding the time I'll spend finding my way. :S Eeks! I hope there won't be any awkward games.. oh and i hope that e buffet lunch'll be delicious :D

Ok i'll update again... I won't be getting a laptop soon :( which is sad..

yesterdays, today, and tomorrows

醒来时的回忆，又一次的遗憾...
感觉淡了，眼泪也不再伴随。
这是好事！:)

Alright, and for today... Actually I searched for blogskins, and found sth simple that I quite like, then realised that it doesn't have "archives" in it. So I dumped it and just took one of the blogger's one. Too lazy to create e links and all so I shall do it nx time.

As you can see, my blog title has changed, from "black days" to "batch no.:24051988". Haha... and i'm made in singapore! Just thought I'd have a change.

Haven't been blogging often and I guess not many ppl visit my blog now. I mean, in the first place, there hasn't been a crowd, and now it's just worse =S Thought I'll just post sth here, as an update? Yeah...

Anyways, what had i been doing so far? I started working a few days aft my birthday, as a waitress at coffee club (introduced by piggy). Need a part time job so that I can continue to work even when school starts. I need money for hostel fees, and whatever other fees there will be. So, yeah... I'm waitressing. Not that there's nothing interesting to talk about my job... in fact, there's a lot of things to talk abt, but I just think that it's really inappropriate to talk abt work here. So... we can talk abt it in private :P

Oh I'm so excited abt Uni!! But not going for e orientation camps coz I'm too lazy, and anti-social, and not spontaneous and whatever other excuses you can think of. I'm excited abt living in the halls, oh and I'll be sharing a room with piggy. :D I think we'll have disagreements as we get to know each other better, but she's such a nice person, so easy to get along with... so bully-able. muahahaha.... Uni's starting on the 6th of August. :) :) :) :) :)

I'm currently waiting for PAY DAY!! But no, don't ask me to give you a treat or buy you stuff, coz I need the money, and I really don't earn much!

On my birthday

Went out with piggy and baldy on my birthday. And we took a neoprint, almost totally copied what the jap models demonstrated on the screen... that explains why we have so many stupid poses. Hahaha... Anw, here are the neoprints, those with me. :D

Out of coma for a while

Well, doing this especially for Mel :D She asked me to "blog more larr" with the double 'R', yes. Visited her blog and saw her birthday wishlist. I have a birthday wishlist myself, it's in the green sketchbook... Had been thinking if i should put it up, but decided not to, coz it's so bhb. But after reading mel's blog, I thought I should coz she seems keen to get me a present. Hahaha.... just kidding. Anw, I do have quite a list, but I shall just mention a few here... those few that are more affordable, unlike the wacom tablet and the inline-skates.

I want...

1. Colour Pencils -- Not just those cheap colour pencils. I want the soft kind, in the metal case with the price tag that made me put them back. Haha... So i want soft colour pencils AND water-soluble colour pencils. They're not cheap, but affordable still (hint: you can always share a present among a group)

2. More sketchbooks -- Coz I just want them. I want more etcetra books too for future notetaking in Uni. :) Or that brown leather-like book that can be found in kinokuniya :D

3. One Piece Colorwalk 2 -- Not sure if it's still available coz it's not new

4. Other art stuff eg. copic markers, different types of colour/fabric in different colours (for collage) oh and adhesive materials for collage too, white glue would be nice :)

Yep... that's the more affordable ones. 1 and 3 are both 20 bucks actually. 2 and 4 are more flexible. Erm... If you really think that you're rich enough to go for the above $50, I won't mind having some art-related books that are always so expensive. If you have no money, broke and penniless like me, a birthday wish via SMS or even better, a DIY birthday card would be very much appreciated.

I'm going to be officially 19 soon... a year has passed. This year should be a happier but less eventful birthday, i think. Last year's was like... extremely disastrous, one of my saddest birthdays ever and yet a very happy and fun one with my friends :D

I'm now worrying about what to draw for Mr. Poh. Haven't started and his birthday is 2 days aft mine! And he'll book out on that day. oi brother, sorry if e present's not ready orh!

The book of memories

The second book of memories is nearly filled.
18 pages left.
Can you imagine?
It seems just like yesterday, the emotions vivid.
I feel stupid all over again. Why don't I learn?
I cried. I actually cried... pathetic tears.
What can they bring me? More sorrows, that's all.
Everything you've said seems to make me think a lot, hope for a lot.
It's all for nothing. Everything's for nothing.
I shouldn't be chasing for this hope that's outta reach.
Do I really care? Do I really want it?
Or am I just lost from the previous journey?

Believe - Yamaguchi Yuko

寂しくて 言葉も出ない こんな夜は
Sabishikute kotoba mo denai konna yoru wa
君の笑顔 抱きしめ眠ろう humm
Kimi no egao dakishime nemuroo humm
ふたりなら どしゃ降りの雨 凍える朝
Futari nara doshaburi no ame kooeru asa
手をつないで きっと歩ける そばで
Te wo tsunaide kitto arukeru soba de
I believe 消えかけた あの日の夢
I believe kiekaketa ano hi no yume
いつでも 手をかざし守る
Itsu demo te wo kazashi mamoru
忘れない
Wasurenai

When I'm feeling small
When it's cold outside
I don't know who I should believe
And when I needed someone special just by my side
Who was there?
I believe… someday I will love
Someone who's by my side
Oh someday
My special one will come along
I'll pray everyday

I believe 消えかけた あの日の夢
I believe kiekaketa ano hi no yume
いつでも 手をかざし守る
Itsu demo te wo kazashi mamoru
So I believe もしも風に
So I believe moshimo kaze ni
ふるえている時は
furuete iru toki wa
二人で探そう 日の射す場所
Futari sagasoo hi no sasu basho

Someday I will love
Someone who's by my side
Oh someday oh someday
I keep on praying everyday

Don't mess with me

My friend told me that I have the "Don't mess with me" look, which she wants. Actually, she's not the only one who tells me that. Is this good or is this bad? If you were given a choice, would you choose to have this kind of look?

The good thing about it is that it is rather unlikely that people would wanna bully me, and I would never be pestered (not with my looks anyway xD). Haha... The bad thing is that the first impression I give others is "unfriendly", or some say "dao". So basically, the good thing, and the bad thing about the "Don't mess with me" look is that I don't look approachable. Hmm.... haha

Anyway, went to NTU again to take the faculty test. Kinda scary... quite a number of people, should be more than 200, and I didn't really get to finish the paper. Sigh... The last question looks so empty, I mean my answer. I saw a lot of innovians, but I'm not close to them so never say hi. Haha... Sigh, now's the agonising waiting time for the letters to come.

Pray hard!!

没意思的一天

你这是什么意思啊？

没意思。

没意思的一天，让我觉得我好愚蠢。或许以上对你来说很莫名其妙，又奇怪得好笑。。。但是，对我来说，那是如此之沉重的呀！我本来就知道没意思，为什么却还要自欺欺人呢？

明天还得考试，我哪有心情哪！你们就绕了我吧！唉。。。

哎。。。

关于台湾偶像剧。。。

有些真的很白痴，有些真的拖很久。有些白痴的很可爱，虽然笨笨的，却也很简单。有时候，明知道看了回想起别的事情，但仍会想去看，仍会想要边看，边想，边哭。哭得我眼睛都累了，袖子也湿了。我刚看完的是《恶作剧之吻》，就是那部把林依晨搞得很白痴的那部。哈哈。。。她在戏里真的很白痴。虽然大家都觉得她笨笨的，但是你们知道吗？戏里的湘琴，就是我羡慕的人的一种。哪一种吗？思想单纯的哪一种。

我羡慕思想单纯的人。他们不会有心机，世界对他们来说，也没那么丑陋。生活是如此的简单，快乐。

我害怕再找到一个我喜欢的人，但又迫不及待的等待着未来的日子。其实，我不介意独自一个人生活，但有时候，有个人陪你走过一段路也是好的。

为什么我们要把生活搞得如此复杂呢？为什么“喜欢”跟“爱”其实是那么美丽，那么温馨的字眼，但在现实生活中却总是比较痛呢？为什么，都已经圆满大结局了，泪水却。。。

迷

无缘

谢谢你不理我

看不见的伤口原来并未痊愈，而只是看不见了。
被撒了盐后，原来仍是那么痛。

我并非自己想象的坚强，但我仍想象我是坚强的。
因为，这或许真会让我学会变得更坚强。

小小的微笑

Suddenly... relapse?

沉默...
并非无所谓
而是无可奈何

为什么明知毫无结果，却仍想博一博。
我到现在，似乎还未完全的找回自己。
只能对自己说声加油了。

这是我重新拥抱“多愁善感”的象征吗？

Am so addicted to Hana kimi now :P also addicted to the songs, esp the 2 songs by tank.
Waiting for the next episode to come out on youtube!!

Yet another attack

Split-eyed monster alert!! Split-eyed monster alert!! As usual, the monster left some barang barang to prevent us from closing before it is back. And as usual, the monster is ridiculous. How can monsters not be ridiculous anyway. It showed its fangs to another victim today as I cowardly escaped and backed into the bushes. Felt sorry for the victim but was impressed as the victim wasn't scared away by the fangs.

*A round of applause please*

But the victim called for help quietly. Once i got the message, I turned on the "Split-eyed Monster Alert" and 2 villagers came to help. Seeing more people, what's more, 2 who are stronger and slightly armed, the monster was less ferocious (but it's still ridiculous). Luckily, we managed to chase the monster away from our village and perhaps back into its cave before sun set, so all the other villagers can wander safely about the village when night falls.

Erm, is this considered chapter 2 of the "Slaying of the Split-eyed Monster"?

When's results coming out, anyone?

attack!

I was attacked by the split-eye monster. Previously, I thought it's an okay monster, but it turned out to be a really horrible monster. This split-eye monster never comes at the right time, dragging the time I go home. I ran away from the split-eye monster although I really REALLY wish to kick its ass, because I have no choice but to run from the monster. I wasn't armed, and was unable to protect myself, that's why.

URGGHHH!!! smack smack smack smack smack!!!

deviantart

So happy!! I officially joined deviantart some time ago, and started submitting deviations too. What am I excited about? COMMENTS!! There are actually people commenting! YEAH! Not many, but at least got comments. Good enough, hee... What's more, the drawing i gave chaky was being downloaded and the person requested for a bigger file, to see the details. The same person also favourited my "carefree" (to view this piece, check my drawing blog :P). So, so happy!! EEEEEEEeeeee... hahaha... k, time to sleep, working tomorrow again.

OH! I was late for work today, eeks!

No life

This blog is dead, yes this blog is dead. I'm merely trying to make the heart pump a little with this pathetic filler entry. Haha... k larz, to update a little more about me.

I'm still working at MOM, just got my pay recently but no point asking me to give you a treat or anything like that coz they're almost all gone! Eeks! The rest of the money would be my food allowance this month. Sigh... I still want to buy a pair of roller blades and a new bottle of perfume for me to "pen xiang xiang" :) Sigh... It's erm, around, 25 more days to the next pay day? Haha.... bet it'll be gone soon too.

What did i spend my jan pay on? 80 to my dance fees, 100 to hospital fees, 50 to a bag, 20 to a wallet, 109 to zara (:P), near 30 to IP zone, and of course food and more food. :) No idea how much I spend on food, just keep eating when i'm hungry and stop when i'm full or when i've empty pockets.

Added 1 new colour to my nail polish last month, a deep red. Love it! Recently added 2 new ones too, one dark flesh tone and one purplish glitter, which i can only see the glitter. Haha... Not so nice to use for the whole nail so I guess I'm only gonna touch that in the future when i've more things to play with in that collection. :D Also a new eyeliner, and eyeshadows in earth tone! YEAH! My new year colour is brown. Got 2 sets of clothes in brown, 1 pair of new shoes in light brown and a pair of untouched shoes found in the cabinet in dark brown. Yep, so that new bag i bought is white and brown and the new wallet is light brown too! What a coincidence! Oh well. :D

I wanna buy paint, but no money left. My allowance would still be a little dependent on my coming ang pao money. Anyone wanna make donations?! *grins*

I "can't wait" for the results to be out, how nice it'll be to spoil the new year. -_-"

where am i

Hello ppl, sorry for my disappearing act. Not that you all care though. Haha... I've been working larz. since 8th jan. Too tired to blog when i'm home and I was addicted to this new american series called "House", so I had been watching "House" whenever i'm free. =) For those who do care, the next question would be what am i working as... I'm working as an e-service warden at Ministry of Manpower (MOM) now. Basically, we're supposed to guide customers on the various e-services we provide, such as online application for work permit. Yup.. basically. Actually, that should be all for this job. HOWEVER, customers ask us all sorts of questions so we have to try our best to answer them. So, what happens is that we'll be walking around a lot from our e-service lobby to the information counter to ask questions on behalf of our customers. What's bad about this job now, we're short of people, and sometimes, every terminal needs help. At these times, the 2 ppl there will be running around doing all the stuff for them and making other customers wait.

Well, some customers are really nice, very understanding and patient, while some others are not as patient but we just assume that they've tried their best. What I don't like is the extremely strong cigarette smell we have to put up with at times as some of our customers are smokers. Felicia will cough to death there arh. :P I nearly fainted one day when I had an extremely sensitive nose. Haha... Anyway, visit me when you're free larz

Currently, right now, at this very moment, I wanna go PS to buy new shoes. But i promised my mum to stay for dinner so I'll see if i'm gonna be un-lazy. Haha... I really wanna buy new shoes.

Sense of relief

The truth was revealed last night, near the end of the end of 2006 and the start of the start of 2007. Yep... Shall cut the story short though there are really a lot of things going on inside which i would like to dump here. No happy ending, heh heh... but at least I've one less thing to ponder on :) And of course, I feel smarter now xD From now, I'm going to gradually bid the silly me farewell, till the next person comes into the picture to make me a silly girl again. :P

I shan't lie and say that I'm not sad. I am sad, but I'm alright. Everything's fine... I'd rather have this than to stay in the agonising fogged world. So, don't worry about me, I'll be fine. *wink*

Oh, and thanks to all those ppl I've talked to, really helped... alright, kinda helped. haha... Just kidding... xD Love you people! Special thanks to pig for being there to help, and offering to come over to my place in the rain. Haha.. although that was meant as a joke, I know you care :) Really appreciate that you wanted to console me, to cheer me up, although I stopped you halfway from consoling me. :P Thanks to him for being truthful and straightforward, and for the attempt to make me feel better (or less dreadful. haha).

I'm a day late in saying this but, whatever.. Happy New Year peeps! :)