25号的一堆字

嗯。。。 以下的一堆文字都是二十五号写的。有些被删除了，因为太personal了。=)

被人爱的好深好深的感觉是怎么样的？爱热奶的好深好深又是什么感觉？单恋是什么感觉？两厢情愿又是什么感觉？到了这年龄就是会开始想这种事吗？我的心中有好多好多的疑问啊！有人能提供我所有的答案吗？我想我别无抉择吧，只得亲身体验，自己领悟，自己寻找答案。

其实，我现在的观念是“爱情可有可无，不是必需品”。那我又为何会一直去想呢？不过是好奇，想体验一下罢了。遥远的未来里，爱着我的那个人，现在在哪里呢？

=*end 02.30*=

=*start 03.13*=

就这样，我什么都不想做。只想懒懒散散的发呆，想事情，休息，偷懒。当日子越来越难过，压力越来越大的时候，我越想休息。当对我的要求越来越多，越来越高时，我越想偷懒。为何得那样的把知识硬塞进我们的脑袋里呢？日子镇难过！假期块到来吧！

抓狂

=*end 03.25*=

=*start 10.40*=

突然之间，感到很空虚，很虚伪。跟朋友在一块儿时，闹啊，闹啊。朋友一离开，突然好寂寞，突然好安静。已经好久没这样的感觉了，我到底是怎么了？最近也没什么特别的事发生啊！一天之内，我竟然有如此多的感触，已是第三章了。

突然之间，好希望有个依靠。好希望有个人让我依赖，在我寂寞的时候陪我，帮我解闷，都我开心。好希望现在就有这么一个人出现在我眼前，立刻。虽然是有几个肯陪着我的人，但没有一个是跟我同校的。

=*end 11.10*=

realised that i actually removed quite a great deal from my original copy. Many things inside are way too personal to be posted here for everyone to see. Ha.. oh ya.. it's the end of the 25 july things already. Here on, it's today's entry.

Hmm.. that fred said tt he dreamt about me, a bad dream, he claimed. Of course right, any dream with me inside is bad. Haha.. however, his dream doesn't seem to have a plot. Shall i say what he dreamt? nah.. haha.. anyway i also dun really know what he dreamt about. Go bug him then!! Go now, go! HAHAHA.. i'm evil. I did that on purpose so tt people will go bug you, fred. Hmph! Not like they will though. hahaha.. eeks~

I'm mesmerised by someone's handwriting. It's soooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful. It's chinese writing arh.. anw, it's really nice. I think it has a character, attitude? haha.. dunno larz.. just find that it's really beautiful! And if i'm not mistaken, it's actually a guy's handwriting. Wow like wow right.. (erm.. stop smiling to yourself, it's not you. XD) I don't know how he looks like though, but i think i would rather not know. Just need to look at the handwriting. It's sooooooooooooooooooooooooo nice!! How i wish i can write like him. Ha! It'll take me eons to be able to write like him. eeks~

Got back our result slip. Miss Lim's remarks for me is :

Simin is a pleasant girl and contributes actively in group work. She however has to learn to be punctual and come to school on time.

Yeah.. you must be laughing your whiskers off now right... And my conduct is fair. Which my friends claim is due to my latecoming. Haha.. I was late this morning again. sigh.. hopeless arh. haiz.. have to see Mr. Koh again, then do detention again. Haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. Haaaaaiiiiiizzzz.....

Got back my econ MCQ test on production and cost today. I got better than my summer test, amazingly amazing. I got 17/20.. and one of e 3 marks tt i missed is totally soooooooooooooooooo careless. so sad.. e other one got a wrong concept, and e last one cannot differentiate between the choices.. hahaha.. see larz lil bro, all your fault arh.. tt i lost 3 marks. Hmph.. all your fault! I don't care, it's ALL YOUR FAULT!! XP

Miss Lim's comment on our MCQ test made me 哭笑不得. She said, "The highest in our class is 17/20. And not surprising, it's xiaohei again." Ermm.. what can i say. I think arh, if this goes on, I'll become soooooooo complacent that i'll just play 24/7 and end up getting Fs for every subject, which is really bad. =[ complacency is bad for health. Hmm.. my comments for this MCQ test, it's easier than I had expected it to be. After doing the test, I was quite relieved. Haha.. at least I thought that I can pass the test. XD Erm.. actually, I tried studying for the test the day before, but i just couldn't stand the boredom, and chose to sleep instead. Ha.. so I ended up all panicky right before the test. That was the time I did my TYS qns. Luckily I did my TYS qns, because some of the qns are similar. So it's really last minute work. And also, it's a little based on luck. For example, i don't really know what's implicit cost and explicit cost. Sort of got the two mixed up. So i just made a guess, and I guessed correctly, and got the right answer. Haha.. lucky bugger right. Conclusion? TYS MCQ helps a lot in MCQ tests! So in order to do well in econ MCQ tests, go do your TYS. =) Yeah.. that's my advice. Ermm.. as for luck, I can't really give you tips larz.. haha..

No one believes that my results for Summer tests are really due to luck. I passed my math, coz for most qns which i didn't really know how to do, I got e first line right. Haha.. so i got a lot of 1 marks here and there. Which are added to my other marks and tt's how i passed. Ahh.. anyway, if you call last minute work "study", then okay larz.. i sort of studied. But please take note that my "last minute" is REALLY last minute. It's different from most people's last minute. Take math as example again. I only started doing qns the night before e math test. Only managed to do a few qns, so didn't have enough practice. Then, right before the test, I was reading through my math lecture notes to cram things in. I forgot to read MI coz i was too confident in MI. In the end, I forgot the steps to solving MI qns.. sigh.. still got a few marks though. Yeah.. last minute work. Econ, I "studied"(did some mcq qns, and read through those tt i didn't understand to try to understand) for like 1 or 2 days. If you take abt an hour a day for 2 days as 2 days, then it's 2 days. haha. act i read a little at the beginning of the holiday, but of course, it's holiday. Do you think I went on studying. I'm not the kind who will continue to study.. haha.. yeah..

Just from econ mcq, you can't really see if i really know the concept well, because most of e mcq qns are e same. If you do your tys, you'll sort of know the answers. *wink* as for essays, I think tt's e one that will reflect on what you know abt econ. Which is precisely why I do badly for essays.

Haha.. lazy miaow miaow can't help being lazy. Time for the cat to sleep..

Topic of the Day!!

Before I begin on today's topic, I would like to comment tt my chinese blog is currently facing a slow death.. haha.. I post my chinese entries here too!! That's weird. Hmm... Shall i just close my miaowupmiaowdown and just post everything here? Ah.. I shall just leave it there and post some new entries when i feel like it. =) Any other suggestions?

Nope.. it's not the beginning of my topic of the day yet. MAMA!! COME BACK!! I miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you, my harry potter and the half-blood prince!! haha.. just kidding. I plan to try my best to clear up my undone work before kinia's back with my harry potter. If I'm able to be VERY unlike me, i might be able to work ahead, then I can devote my time to Harry Potter! =)

Topic of the Day

"I feel that teachers should never say that a student is hopeless, gone case, has no brains and things like that. It is a taboo!!" (said by miaow miaow) Please comment

Just an introduction to why I thought of this so suddenly. Well, I guess it's really easy to guess. One of my various tutors just said something like that. But she was more specific. As I'm trying to set a topic, I feel that it should be a little more broad.. ya.. hahaha.. broken engish. I'm "breaking" the english like a broken englisher.. HAHAHA..

In GP, we are grouped into 4 different groups based on our summer test performance (summer test = common test). As I only got 45.5, I was in the last group (Haha.. not afraid to admit this. come suan me larz..>=]). We asked her to repeat her question, and she said something like, "Arts students can never listen. They have zero concentration, zero IQ... ..."

Before I continue, please understand that I most probably am biased in this entry.. Very biased because I'm against teachers who think in this kind of way. This is my first experience of this kind of humiliation and dehumanisation and you know what? I HATE IT! Eversince my third year in Crescent, I HATE this kind of comments from teachers. You might ask, why do i have such a strong feeling against it when i had never really experienced it. Well, though i had not experienced it, I have friends who are being treated that way as a whole class. I condemn this act of dehumanisation!

The thing that I would like to highlight is the part about zero IQ. She's not being fair. The principal, vice principals, lecturers, tutors all said that we are the top 25% of our cohort. Being able to make it into a JC meant that we have what it takes. Now, she is contradicting herself, contradicting the whole team of educators in Innova. Of course, that doesn't mean anything. My argument is that arts students are not equivalent to bad students. Some people think that arts students are not as good as science students because the cut off points in JC for science is always lower than that of arts, and that students who are in the arts faculty are those who cannot make it to science or are those who cannot study. This is not true! I doubt that she thinks in that way though, because she being in this career meant that she knows more about how these things are. I think that she looks down on the whole of innova, or most. Just because there are people getting 20 does not mean that we are stupid and have zero IQ. If you're going to judge people like that, then bless you.

Making comments like "You're hopeless", "You have zero IQ", "You are stupid", "You should be in the Poly" and things like that, is a taboo! At least that's what I think. To me, it shows that you are not professional. You're not really into this teaching career. You're teaching because it's your job, but not because you love to teach and want to teach us young people. Teachers should never make this kind of comments even if they are really frustrated. It really strengthens the barrier between teachers and students. That's bad. =( If you say things like "You all don't listen", or "you are just so lazy", I won't be so agitated because those statements are true. It's true for almost all cases of students who perform under expectations. It's true for me, especially the part about laziness. I'm just so lazy. I wonder where I'll be now if I had been hardworking. Hmm... SAJC with kah yin? Or at least NYJC. Well, but i'm just lazy. I admit that there are things which we can never get along well with. For example, I can never get along well with history, unless I study 24/7. Haha.. I'm completely opposite!

When I told my classmates about what my GP tutor had said, one of them said, "You should shoot her back and say, 'Hey! You're talking to someone who got 'A' passes for all subjects.' "

Haha.. actually, when my GP tutor made that unforgivable comment, I had thought about something like that. I was thinking, if I really have zero IQ, then how had i managed to pass my subjects? Of course, all this while, i had been saying that I'm really lucky to pass, but it's not just luck. The luck made me pass of course, but the truth is that I didn't even put in a considerable effort and that's why I had expected to fail my math, econ and GP. Which is 3 out of 4 subjects. If I have zero IQ, why do my friends in crescent think that I'm really mad to be able to pass math with A1 when i didn't really touch it, didn't do homework, always got chased by Mrs. Gek. Or pass A math with A2 when the same things happen, didn't do homework, got chased by Mrs. Gek all the time. If i have zero IQ, what had made my friends think that if i had studied as much as they had, I would get around 10 points? If i have zero IQ, why are you expecting so much from me? I'm not trying to say that i'm smart, but am trying to say that I do not have zero IQ. Hmph you arh... >=P If you don't like us, just say that you don't like us!

Haha.. didn't really say much about my topic of the day.. Just said how i feel towards my GP tutor's comments

eh.. you think too highly of me?

Quite amazing larz.. First, my math teacher came and ask if I need the trigo one solutions, to check my answers and perhaps teach some of my classmates. Ha.. think too highly of me le.. My math also not very good now what, it's a D grade now.. so pathetic right.. haha

Then, my CT came and chat with me on her way to staff room. She told me that I should target higher than my fellow classmates for my A level subjects, because she thinks that I have a certain level of thinking skills. Haha.. yeah.. you don't believe it right. well, i don't blame you, because I can't believe it too. >_< hahaha.. My friend asked me to do math with her, so that I can teach her math too. That's like, wow... All of you think so highly of me, and I'm scared that I will be a disappointment. You expect so much from me, yet I can only offer so little! Haha.. actually, I can offer more than that, but i'm too lazy to work. So... well,erm.. just don't give me too much pressure and I'll appreciate it le. =) I don't want to disappoint any of you, so please don't expect too much of me. Ya.. that's all. =)

Oh.. and my results for summer test, if you're interested:
GP - 45.5
CL A - A
Math C - D 36/70
Econ - E 46.4
(if my math C got C, it'll be so cute larz! A for A, C for C, E for E.. hahaha.. oops. sorry.. =P)

I'll think of more discussions if I have. =) Till then!

eh.. setting up a 讨论会 here =)

今天的问题是。。。 啊！哈哈。。。少在这里看到华文字吧！就如标题所显示的一样，创造了一个讨论社。为何不在华文博客设这讨论会而在这儿设呢？我爽就在这设你想怎样？哈哈哈。。。 对， 对。。。今天的问题，那就是

男女之间能有纯友谊吗？

哈哈。。。如果你又看到广告或什么的，应该不难发现我是从电视上取出 这题目的。我认为，这是个有趣的题目！因此想要大家发表意见！用英文或华文都没问题，但是要在comments登出，而不是在tagboard。=) 希望大家能够踊跃参与这次的讨论！哈哈。。。sounds so funny, because not many people come to my blog.. in fact, i'm quite sure it's less than 5．X D oops.. well, just give me your comments larz.. i'll type my comments here =).

My comments:

虽然有许多人都说男女之间无法拥有纯友谊，但我却不那么认为。我相信 人与人之间，无论是男或女，都有可能存在着纯友谊。为什么会成为朋友呢？ 情投意合？个性相通？谈得来？常在一块儿？兴趣一致？真是选啊！我们为什么会成为朋友呢？哈哈。。。我无法回答，因为我知道会成为朋友不是只有上面所提到 的几个原因。大家也想想看吧，为什么我们会成为朋友呢？

据节目所说，会成为朋友代表着对方有一点是吸引你的。因此很有可能会 跨过那条隔开友情与爱情的线，而发现自己其实是以另一种方式喜欢着对方。我同意这种说法，但这并不代表男女之间不能够有这纯友情。理清了自己的感觉，心 情，想法，就不难发现自己是以什么方式喜欢这一个人。

老实说，我并不能够说很多，因为之前的四年里，我都是跟女生在一起的，根本就没有异性朋友。嗯。。。我算是经验不足？哈哈。。。还是当局者迷，旁观者清？哈哈哈。。。越扯越远了。

end of my comment. am going to talk abt sth else

也许是因为到现在，我没真正喜欢过一个人吧！也或许是由喜欢过人，但 那种心情不够强烈，不是喜欢到很想告诉那个人。我想说的，是也许是因为我没有经验，所以才会认为喜欢一个人，就该直截了当地告诉她/他！虽然有可能面临被 拒绝的厄运，但至少你知道对方是怎么想的啊！至少你知道他不喜欢你，而你就不用再烦恼着他是否对你也有感情之类的。把握时机吧！

爱情是个必需品吗？哈哈。。我不知道。我没经验，所以不知道。我没体 验过，所以我现在认为没有他，仍然能生活。现在，对我来说，爱情不是个必需品。有，就有。没有，就没有。你也知道，爱情是强求不来的。如果爱情是必需品的 话，拿我现在就是个流浪猫，等着好心（但倒霉 XD）的人，把我捡回家好好疼，好好养，好好爱。那个人何时会出现呢？我不知道。哈哈。。问题是，世界上真有那么一个人，也正在等着一只可怜的流浪猫吗？

现在，对我来说，朋友在我生命里扮演着很重要的角色。因此，我想借此 机会，向所有的朋友说声，谢谢。谢谢你们这段日子以来，一直支持着我，关心着我，陪着我，容忍着我，爱着我，守护着我。我真得很感谢你们！我不是个好东 西，能够拥有你们这般朋友，算是非常有福气的吧！我耳垂的形状，我圆圆的鼻子，都代表着我是个有福气的人。这就是我的福气吧！很对不起，常让你们讨厌，常 把你们逼得快疯掉了。这种感情，是金钱所卖不到的东西，是无价之宝，是珍贵的，是要珍惜的。你们都是好人，因为你们肯跟我交朋友，跟我这只坏猫作朋友。

谢谢你们！友谊万岁！

The things I HATE about you

Yeah.. i have to admit that for my past 17+ years, you had been a really good mother to me. You are still a good mother, really. However, I am a rebellious daughter deep inside. I rarely talk back, close to never. But right now, I really feel like talking back. I sort of envy people who are able to just tell their parents what they want, to talk back. At least they made themselves clear. I really wish that I have the courage to talk back. I really wanted so much to shout back at her, "你知道我最讨厌你什么吗？ 就是你每次不懂装懂。 每次只会在我退步的时候指责我，而不在我进步时夸奖我。 你就不能看到我如何往好的方面走吗？你就一定要一直说我会有此结果都是我自找的吗？你就不能说点好的吗？我在你心里真的就是那么糟糕吗？“

Of course, I did not do that. The only time I remember i "talk back" is when I was doing a card for my teacher and she came up with some suggestions, which I did not accept. She got a little unhappy and said some things, which made me unhappy too. I forgot what it was about, but that was the only time I ever "talk back". To others, it's not even what they call "talk back", it's just telling her something. I really envy how my friend can just talk back to her mother when she really felt that her mother is doing something wrong to her, or maligning her etc. How i wish that i can do that too.

When i improved, you did not say anything to me. No encouragements, no praises, nothing. But once the condition turned for the worse, you immediately pointed it out, and shoot at me. Is this what you call the traditional chinese way of treating your children? If that is the traditional chinese way, then that is something I HATE about my tradition. Do you know that sometimes, it's not the fact that you're pointing something bad that will make me change for the better, to strive for improvement, it is in fact, the encouragements and praises that do the job.

你难道不明白什么是软硬兼施吗？有些时候，用硬的不行，就得用软的呀！

I tell you something so that you can see a change in me. But you just said something that totally hurts me. I have feelings too! I know that it's been hard for you to be a mother, but can you just stop doing that to me? It really makes me cry a lot. Can't you just see that I don't like it that way? I had never talked back in my whole life, but if you want my "first", then continue doing that. I'm sure one day, I will grant your wish of me talking back for the first time. I'm feeling bad because I want to do something but I just can't bring myself to do it!! Why did you teach me to be like that? Why didn't you teach me to express myself better? To tell others how I feel? It's killing me!!

I also hate the way you embarrass me. Telling things which I want to be kept private to relatives and friends. Are you threatening me so that I will stop doing all those bad things and start doing everything you want me to do?

一个小学生都有自尊心了，更何况是我这个十七岁的女生？你能告诉舅舅他的儿子是有自尊心的，为何你就不能了解到我也有自尊心？说到来，你也只是会说不会做，嘴上说得头头是道，但所作所为却跟你说的有差异。

I had told so many of you that "hate" is a strong word, but here I am saying things I HATE about her. Yeah.. I'm using "hate" because I think that dislike is not a strong enough a feeling to express how I feel towards some of the things she does to me. Perhaps I will regret in the future or be ashamed of myself for using the word "hate", but for now, I'm just trying to relief my anger, my fury... so that I won't do things that I'll regret forever.