I feel like crying, so hopeless.... haha.
I love the walk home from great world city, quiet...
Just now, while walking back, I felt so much like crying...
just so I can get rid of the unhappy monster living inside me currently.
It's time I realise that there isn't hope, it's time...
and it's time I give up gracefully and stop feeling so useless and stupid.
My last decision was to wait till I hear from him,
but it never came, and it will never come.
I know it, this time, I'm dead sure...
It's the "now or never" kind of thing.
It's the last day of the year... nothing came...
No more speculation, no more...
It's not easy getting out even if you know that you'll get nothing staying inside.
I guess that's the hard part that we all have to learn the hard way.
But, learning doesn't mean you'll be able to get out of it. Ha...
Perhaps I should move on with my plan and just spit it all out,
then wait for the harsh words to come,
the harsh words that i need to hear in order to wake up.
I can only console myself,
"All these things I'm experiencing now will be a source of laughter in the future. I'll just look back at these stupid times and chuckle!"
Sunday 31 December 2006
Tuesday 26 December 2006
Gorie Cup 2006
This group is the champion, and you can see why they won the Gorie Cup. Amazing, aren't they? :D How i wish I had the chance to learn all these stunts when I was their age. Now I'm kinda rusty and don't really dare to flip aroudn anymore. :P Except Cartwheels.
Oh and of course, they're all so cute!! kawaii!! ^^
Heather Martin - When Are You Coming Home
Found this video from Youtube.com, and it made me cry. I wonder if the little girl knows what she's singing, does she still remember the times she had with her big brother?
"War" sounds like history to me, but in fact it's still around. When will it really be called history?
A rather happy christmas with a bit of sadness
Was I too late?
Did I miss it by just a fraction of a second?
Or has nothing happened at all?
There's a clique gathering coming up, but I don't feel like attending. Kinda bad of me, but well.. just don't feel like it. There's a cca gathering this weekend, and I don't feel like attending that either. Sigh... what's the point? I'm not really attached to the club, it's like a 35 min ride there, or more since I most prob will go from the dance studio. But i need and want to pass christmas cards to my friends, whom I most probably won't get to meet since they're not exactly in my clique. I've to pay for it, and I've to wear my uniform, on a saturday? sigh... it's alright if i get to choose my seat, then i can sit with ppl i know, but if we've no choice but to sit in our own dept, erm... Hmm... A few hours ago, I've just decided to go for the gathering and now, I'm wondering abt my choice. We'll see. Perhaps till the time I've finally made a decision, it's too late to decide, so save me the trouble :D
Got some expected cards and gifts, and some unexpected cards. :D It's quite a happy christmas, with several dates and gatherings, and of course lotsa laughter... oh, and lotsa rain! Haha... It would've been a really great christmas if certain things were in place. Well, that's just too bad.
Things hadn't been as good as I would've preferred, and it got a lil worse since some time ago, when I kinda got reminded of a thing that had bothered me for quite some time all because of a stupid dream that's actually really nice (except for the after-effects). Dreams are just dreams, the sad part about them is that they are just dreams! Haha... Some people say that dreams are the opposite of reality, so if that's true, I should just bang my head on the wall hard enough to make myself less stupid.
Why must that dream come at this point of time?! It made my life worse! WORSE!! URGHHH... I'm looking forward to a day, which I actually am kinda scared of it coming my way. Haha... sounds like the day we get back our 'A' lvls results. :p Well, yeah, that is one of the days that are so, but this day I'm talking about is different, but similar. It's kinda like an indication too, or perhaps a last verdict. Haha... AHHHH!!
I've enjoyed all my christmas presents, except this very one I got from my grandaunt right on Christmas itself! It's bloody! Oops... and painful... and just makes me feel even more sad if i'm sad already. Make a guess. :P
Did I miss it by just a fraction of a second?
Or has nothing happened at all?
There's a clique gathering coming up, but I don't feel like attending. Kinda bad of me, but well.. just don't feel like it. There's a cca gathering this weekend, and I don't feel like attending that either. Sigh... what's the point? I'm not really attached to the club, it's like a 35 min ride there, or more since I most prob will go from the dance studio. But i need and want to pass christmas cards to my friends, whom I most probably won't get to meet since they're not exactly in my clique. I've to pay for it, and I've to wear my uniform, on a saturday? sigh... it's alright if i get to choose my seat, then i can sit with ppl i know, but if we've no choice but to sit in our own dept, erm... Hmm... A few hours ago, I've just decided to go for the gathering and now, I'm wondering abt my choice. We'll see. Perhaps till the time I've finally made a decision, it's too late to decide, so save me the trouble :D
Got some expected cards and gifts, and some unexpected cards. :D It's quite a happy christmas, with several dates and gatherings, and of course lotsa laughter... oh, and lotsa rain! Haha... It would've been a really great christmas if certain things were in place. Well, that's just too bad.
Things hadn't been as good as I would've preferred, and it got a lil worse since some time ago, when I kinda got reminded of a thing that had bothered me for quite some time all because of a stupid dream that's actually really nice (except for the after-effects). Dreams are just dreams, the sad part about them is that they are just dreams! Haha... Some people say that dreams are the opposite of reality, so if that's true, I should just bang my head on the wall hard enough to make myself less stupid.
Why must that dream come at this point of time?! It made my life worse! WORSE!! URGHHH... I'm looking forward to a day, which I actually am kinda scared of it coming my way. Haha... sounds like the day we get back our 'A' lvls results. :p Well, yeah, that is one of the days that are so, but this day I'm talking about is different, but similar. It's kinda like an indication too, or perhaps a last verdict. Haha... AHHHH!!
I've enjoyed all my christmas presents, except this very one I got from my grandaunt right on Christmas itself! It's bloody! Oops... and painful... and just makes me feel even more sad if i'm sad already. Make a guess. :P
Sunday 24 December 2006
Dream
I had a dream last night, a rather good dream. Well, it sounds great doesn't it, but the after-effects weren't that magnificent. It's not till the extent of pain, but it just isn't nice. Anyway, while trying to find lyrics for "dream a little dream of me", I ended up interpreting that dream online. *chuckles*
To get your dream interpreted online, it's not that easy. They have symbols and it's kinda complicated. But well, I looked through some of them and squeezed out several keywords from my dream to be interpreted as symbols. I'm gonna put up some of the keywords found in my dream and what they symbolise:
Friend(s) - Joy and consolation. Aspect of self ready for integration.
Night - Darkness. There is a mystery that I want to penetrate.
Rain - Release. Feelings pouring down on me.
Road - achievement of sth. Direction. Life's path.
Smiling - Looking for something that makes me happy
Stairs -Aspirations .Looking to get to certain point against all opposition.
Vehicle - Looking for a medium to get where I want to be.
Walking - Freedom. Movement. Ask yourself where do you want to go.
Yeah.. these are the ones i can draw from my dream. So, basically, many of them are regarding me finding something, and what I want to do etc. Hmmm... Well, I won't totally trust these things, but it's fun do it xD though you might think it's quite a waste of time. haha...
Anyway, I am currently addicted to Jamie Cullum's version of "Lover, You Should've Come Over". It's one of those unforgettable love songs. :)
To get your dream interpreted online, it's not that easy. They have symbols and it's kinda complicated. But well, I looked through some of them and squeezed out several keywords from my dream to be interpreted as symbols. I'm gonna put up some of the keywords found in my dream and what they symbolise:
Friend(s) - Joy and consolation. Aspect of self ready for integration.
Night - Darkness. There is a mystery that I want to penetrate.
Rain - Release. Feelings pouring down on me.
Road - achievement of sth. Direction. Life's path.
Smiling - Looking for something that makes me happy
Stairs -Aspirations .Looking to get to certain point against all opposition.
Vehicle - Looking for a medium to get where I want to be.
Walking - Freedom. Movement. Ask yourself where do you want to go.
Yeah.. these are the ones i can draw from my dream. So, basically, many of them are regarding me finding something, and what I want to do etc. Hmmm... Well, I won't totally trust these things, but it's fun do it xD though you might think it's quite a waste of time. haha...
Anyway, I am currently addicted to Jamie Cullum's version of "Lover, You Should've Come Over". It's one of those unforgettable love songs. :)
Monday 18 December 2006
Here's my webby!
Hi peeps! ^^ I'm happy coz I got to watch my Eragon just now, BIG SCREEN!! Nope, not the biggest one in vivo, but still... :) It's nice, but as all movies ripped from books are, some parts are shortened, and I do mean shortened. Some other parts are changed, like how that old rider died. Well, the movie moves a lot faster than the book, and I'll say that both are nice :) Oh and Christopher Paolini's a damn rich young fella now. *chuckles*
And I remember my other blog add now :) it's HERE! <-- click pls
The webby add should be quite easy to remember, and I'll add a link in my list of links so don't worry if you miss that. Hahaha.. I'll make sure I force all of you to visit my other blog, and post comments!! :P Erm, please just show some support! thanks!
Hurt my pinky today, it bled :(
And I remember my other blog add now :) it's HERE! <-- click pls
The webby add should be quite easy to remember, and I'll add a link in my list of links so don't worry if you miss that. Hahaha.. I'll make sure I force all of you to visit my other blog, and post comments!! :P Erm, please just show some support! thanks!
Hurt my pinky today, it bled :(
Saturday 16 December 2006
Singapore Indoor Stadium
Went to Singapore Indoor Stadium for the first time in my life last evening to watch "Sound of a Thousand Years" organised by the buddhists in Singapore to commemorate something, which I'm not certain what and shall not try to speak of it here as I might say it wrongly and that won't be nice. Haha... Anyway, I went in my mum's place, and Mr Lee Kuan Yew went too! Amazing to see him. :) They invited a performing group from China that is really famous and had performed in about 50 countries and had won several prizes. The dancers are handicapped. Some lost their limbs, some are deaf, but the performance was fantastic! The Singapore Chinese Orchestra performed several pieces too, along with a female soprano, joi chua, a group of monks, and a choir which consists of people from Shanghai, NUS, TPJC, MJC and I think AJC. And a children choir from a buddhist primary school. :)
Please forgive me, I'm gonna talk more about the dance :D I've watched them dancing on YouTube.com before, and had wondered how they managed to be hitting the beats so nicely when they're deaf. Yesterday, I learnt that there are 2 helpers at 2 different corners of the stage, directing them with hand signals. Just watching these 2 helpers is pretty amazing too. Haha... It's not an easy feat to dance without listening to the music, yet to be in sync. I'm really impressed by the whole outcome though I have to say that I was pretty disappointed that the female dancers didn't really get to show off the flexibility and do stunts. But again, they're not really professional dancers. With their body language and facial expressions, it's already extraordinary. As a dancer myself, I can't help but be awed by the magnificence and by the will power of these beautiful young ladies and handsome young men! Mind you, they are really a group of beautiful people, especially the ladies.
For the “千手观音”(qian shou guan yin), they've generally captured the style of dancing. If I'm right, that dance is considered as 敦煌 (dun huang), which is a really tough kind of chinese dance. Not my favourite type of dance to dance, but it's extraordinary to watch it :) The group pulled 2 more dances too. In one of the dance, the male dancers awed me with the uncountable number of open-legged jumps they did. Haha.. i don't know what that jump's called. Anyway, they are really amazing!! I can't ask you to watch the performance coz it was only for a night. Yep. But you can watch the qian shou guan yin on YouTube.com :)
Oh, and the Indoor Stadium isn't that big either. Cheh!
Ah, talking about dance. Something not very nice is going on. Hahaha... now that i'm back to dancing weekly, i mean only for the normal dance lessons. Now that I'm school-less, with no need to worry about exams (hopefully "yet") and currently jobless, my dance instructor's trying to pull me back to the troupe and not just go for normal lessons. :P Oops.. but I've made up my mind not to go already, and it's 9 in the morning! no, no... Haha... Oh, something really bad happened too. I realised today during dance that I kinda pulled my muscle or vein on my left thigh. Can't even do a split after warming up, and there's a painful spot! Eeks! Hope that it'll be fine, dun really wanna go for acupuncture. And while I suffer from an injury, I realised that the other girl sprained her ankle, someone else had an injury for about a year, another one juz got herself injured again, and another... bah.. everyone of us is injured. Haha.. I guess that's what we can't avoid.
*Eragon tomorrow!! YAY!! Finally got to watch it :)*
Please forgive me, I'm gonna talk more about the dance :D I've watched them dancing on YouTube.com before, and had wondered how they managed to be hitting the beats so nicely when they're deaf. Yesterday, I learnt that there are 2 helpers at 2 different corners of the stage, directing them with hand signals. Just watching these 2 helpers is pretty amazing too. Haha... It's not an easy feat to dance without listening to the music, yet to be in sync. I'm really impressed by the whole outcome though I have to say that I was pretty disappointed that the female dancers didn't really get to show off the flexibility and do stunts. But again, they're not really professional dancers. With their body language and facial expressions, it's already extraordinary. As a dancer myself, I can't help but be awed by the magnificence and by the will power of these beautiful young ladies and handsome young men! Mind you, they are really a group of beautiful people, especially the ladies.
For the “千手观音”(qian shou guan yin), they've generally captured the style of dancing. If I'm right, that dance is considered as 敦煌 (dun huang), which is a really tough kind of chinese dance. Not my favourite type of dance to dance, but it's extraordinary to watch it :) The group pulled 2 more dances too. In one of the dance, the male dancers awed me with the uncountable number of open-legged jumps they did. Haha.. i don't know what that jump's called. Anyway, they are really amazing!! I can't ask you to watch the performance coz it was only for a night. Yep. But you can watch the qian shou guan yin on YouTube.com :)
Oh, and the Indoor Stadium isn't that big either. Cheh!
Ah, talking about dance. Something not very nice is going on. Hahaha... now that i'm back to dancing weekly, i mean only for the normal dance lessons. Now that I'm school-less, with no need to worry about exams (hopefully "yet") and currently jobless, my dance instructor's trying to pull me back to the troupe and not just go for normal lessons. :P Oops.. but I've made up my mind not to go already, and it's 9 in the morning! no, no... Haha... Oh, something really bad happened too. I realised today during dance that I kinda pulled my muscle or vein on my left thigh. Can't even do a split after warming up, and there's a painful spot! Eeks! Hope that it'll be fine, dun really wanna go for acupuncture. And while I suffer from an injury, I realised that the other girl sprained her ankle, someone else had an injury for about a year, another one juz got herself injured again, and another... bah.. everyone of us is injured. Haha.. I guess that's what we can't avoid.
*Eragon tomorrow!! YAY!! Finally got to watch it :)*
Thursday 14 December 2006
New blog
Heh.. i created a new blog, specially for my drawing stuff. So, i guess the drawing stuff's not gonna appear here bah. :) err.. forgot the URL le.. tell you all some other time :P
Tuesday 12 December 2006
My silent cry for help
"Help!" I cried, "Help me!"
I realised that I've been silently crying for help all this while,
Even though I know that no one could hear me.
Placing my cheeks against the pillow wet with tears,
and no, I did not sleep just like that.
I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling,
turning occasionally with my eyes tightly closed.
All the nights, I've been forcing myself to sleep before dawn.
All the nights, I just couldn't get myself to do that.
Don't be silly, this is not about him. For this once, I'm sure it's not about him.
Or at least, it's not just about him and he doesn't play a big role either...
It's just me.
Going through the same routine
day after day, night after night......
Gradually, I realised that I'm ill.
I'm so afraid... so afraid, but no one knows!
No one will realise the fear growing inside me until I tell them.
I'm not dumb enough to seek death, it's too dumb,
yet I'm dumb enough to lock myself in the toilet, crying...
I've not managed to find the reason for my being ill,
but I guess the best thing to do now is to stop thinking about it,
which is very hard.
I realised that I've been silently crying for help all this while,
Even though I know that no one could hear me.
Placing my cheeks against the pillow wet with tears,
and no, I did not sleep just like that.
I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling,
turning occasionally with my eyes tightly closed.
All the nights, I've been forcing myself to sleep before dawn.
All the nights, I just couldn't get myself to do that.
Don't be silly, this is not about him. For this once, I'm sure it's not about him.
Or at least, it's not just about him and he doesn't play a big role either...
It's just me.
Going through the same routine
day after day, night after night......
Gradually, I realised that I'm ill.
I'm so afraid... so afraid, but no one knows!
No one will realise the fear growing inside me until I tell them.
I'm not dumb enough to seek death, it's too dumb,
yet I'm dumb enough to lock myself in the toilet, crying...
I've not managed to find the reason for my being ill,
but I guess the best thing to do now is to stop thinking about it,
which is very hard.
Sunday 10 December 2006
"Short"
Just watched the documentary called "Short". Well you see, my family's relatively tall for East Asians so we don't understand how short people feel. Wah.. that sounds kinda mean. Anyway, I planned to watch it coz it seems interesting and yeah, it proved to be interesting. And you people who think that you're short, be thankful! You know how short is short? There's the 1% population with people around the height of 130 cm when they're 14, and mind you, they're guys! And I've been complaining about the 3 cm that I need to reach my dream height!
It seems like height matters more to guys, I mean, height issues are more important when talking about guys. There's this kinda typical situation where girls like tall guys and guys like shorter girls, I'm not saying everyone of course. Guys are supposed to be the strong figures who support and protect, and height seems to be an area of concern here. Well, as a female, I do admit that I look at guys height too. Haha.. and for my height (which is considered tall in Asia), height matters A LOT!! Which is kinda sad coz guys in Singapore are kinda short. Haha... The average height is above 170, taller than me but doesn't seem to be tall enough. Well, but i guess that's just an ideal since *ahem* someone's not that tall anyway! Haha...
Now a question for the girls, will you be able to date someone shorter than you? And I don't mean like 3 cm shorter, I mean like, 10 cm shorter kinda shorter. Will you be able to do that? Okay, erm.. you might think it impossible to find a guy that short, oops! hahaha.. but just imagine. For me, I doubt it'll be easy to do such a thing. Not looking down on short guys since it's really the inner self that matters more, but I doubt I can say that I will date a guy shorter than me. Is this considered as discrimination?
People like to be tall, why? Since I was a little kid, it seems like we're always competing to see who's the tallest, who's grown taller etc And several kids like me would be envied coz of our height. Is is really good to be tall? Well, statistics have proven that tall people on average get a higher pay than the average height people. Heh! Sounds great to me. Especially in business, tall people seem to have a certain advantage. But what's bad about being tall? I can list a few, I guess:
1. You just stick out (which can be good or bad, depending on situations)
2. Sometimes if you're not careful, you'll be attacked by all sorts of things hanging eg. branches, advertising boards, or the ring handle in trains.
3. In many situations, you either have to bend your knees or bend your body more than usual (like when you're taking pictures with friends). And guess what, for a dancer like me, I have to bend a lot lower than usual for some actions because we need to be in sync! Which means, more work for me to do!
Erm... can't think of much now, and don't feel like typing anymore. Oh one update about me, I've got muscleaches and they really ACHE!! Eeks! Having muscleaches really make you realise how much work you're putting on your different muscles in simple actions such as getting yourself up in the morning and out of your bed, or just sitting on the toilet bowl and standing up after you're done.
It seems like height matters more to guys, I mean, height issues are more important when talking about guys. There's this kinda typical situation where girls like tall guys and guys like shorter girls, I'm not saying everyone of course. Guys are supposed to be the strong figures who support and protect, and height seems to be an area of concern here. Well, as a female, I do admit that I look at guys height too. Haha.. and for my height (which is considered tall in Asia), height matters A LOT!! Which is kinda sad coz guys in Singapore are kinda short. Haha... The average height is above 170, taller than me but doesn't seem to be tall enough. Well, but i guess that's just an ideal since *ahem* someone's not that tall anyway! Haha...
Now a question for the girls, will you be able to date someone shorter than you? And I don't mean like 3 cm shorter, I mean like, 10 cm shorter kinda shorter. Will you be able to do that? Okay, erm.. you might think it impossible to find a guy that short, oops! hahaha.. but just imagine. For me, I doubt it'll be easy to do such a thing. Not looking down on short guys since it's really the inner self that matters more, but I doubt I can say that I will date a guy shorter than me. Is this considered as discrimination?
People like to be tall, why? Since I was a little kid, it seems like we're always competing to see who's the tallest, who's grown taller etc And several kids like me would be envied coz of our height. Is is really good to be tall? Well, statistics have proven that tall people on average get a higher pay than the average height people. Heh! Sounds great to me. Especially in business, tall people seem to have a certain advantage. But what's bad about being tall? I can list a few, I guess:
1. You just stick out (which can be good or bad, depending on situations)
2. Sometimes if you're not careful, you'll be attacked by all sorts of things hanging eg. branches, advertising boards, or the ring handle in trains.
3. In many situations, you either have to bend your knees or bend your body more than usual (like when you're taking pictures with friends). And guess what, for a dancer like me, I have to bend a lot lower than usual for some actions because we need to be in sync! Which means, more work for me to do!
Erm... can't think of much now, and don't feel like typing anymore. Oh one update about me, I've got muscleaches and they really ACHE!! Eeks! Having muscleaches really make you realise how much work you're putting on your different muscles in simple actions such as getting yourself up in the morning and out of your bed, or just sitting on the toilet bowl and standing up after you're done.
Wednesday 6 December 2006
原来爱情这么伤
最近迷上了梁咏琪的新歌 《原来爱情这么伤》。 歌词非常有意思，也很贴切。若你还未听过这一首歌，不妨上网找找。
原来爱情这么伤，比想象中还难
泪水总是不听话 幸福躲起来不声不响
歌词中是这么说道。这令我有很多感触，蛮有感染力的。的确比想象中还难！但是，泪水不再不听话，或许早已习惯了吧。幸福就想歌词里说的，根本就找不到了。
太多道理太牵强 道理全是一样
说的时候很简单 爱上后却正巧打乱
我想大家对这一段也有同感吧。大道理说了很多，但当自己陷进去时，却什么都不会了。
。。。那一天不会到来吧。。。
原来爱情这么伤，比想象中还难
泪水总是不听话 幸福躲起来不声不响
歌词中是这么说道。这令我有很多感触，蛮有感染力的。的确比想象中还难！但是，泪水不再不听话，或许早已习惯了吧。幸福就想歌词里说的，根本就找不到了。
太多道理太牵强 道理全是一样
说的时候很简单 爱上后却正巧打乱
我想大家对这一段也有同感吧。大道理说了很多，但当自己陷进去时，却什么都不会了。
。。。那一天不会到来吧。。。
Prom Night
Just came back from prom! Ok, not exactly "just". Haha... went to Balcony with frenz, and then did some things at home before coming online :P Well, I'm here to post prom pictures! Heh heh.. the quality not very good coz once again, I used my phone to take pictures... Everyone looks so stunning and our dear Charleston had the honour to sit with 9 girls in our table. Haha... With my 3 inches high heels, I finally got the chance to hit my dream height!! Well, beyond it, in fact. YAA!! Heh heh... but yeah, quite painful larz, after walking for so long.
Well, I wore a teal short spag dress that's quite nice, and a black jacket which i like a lot... both from Forever 21 :) 3 inches high heels from Bata, accessories from mum's stocks (heh heh.. so convenient) and that same black bag i used last time. With my black jacket, I thought I looked more formal, less revealing (though there's nothing much to reveal :P), and less sexy (even though I believe that sexiness can't be blocked by clothes)... but several people actually told me that I look sexy. =_= Hmmm... ok, that came as a surprise. Haha...
And that stupid ming yuan, she went larz! LIAR!! haha.. she messaged to say tt she's not going and even though i was suspecting something else, I believed her in the end. Well, but I have to say that I'm glad she went. :) She looks pretty as usual. Mel and Liaw look young and the young kind of cute, haha... Eileen looks sexy, only if she removes the shawl... I've been thinking of evil schemes to reveal her cleavage lorz.. haha.. :P Xiaowei looks soooooooooo cute!! goodness!! so cute!! haha.. that's all i have to say for her whole look. SO CUTE!! ^^ and Kai Li looks a little gothic, the softer kind. Cindy, looks like a bridesmaid... coz she's dressed in white. The only guy in our table, Charleston, looks charming. He's not what i would call handsome but yeah, he does look charming bah :) Sufie crowned as prom queen!!! So happy for her.. so proud tt she's in A31! She's in a white gown, the puffy kind. Filzah looks so sexy in her red gown. :D Iman, cowboy with his red scarf. Haha... he's goofy as usual bah. Ja didn't come, neither did Jo.
Erm... oh ya. I wanted to talk abt what happened before Prom. I went to do my hair, and i was in my green sweater and shorts. haha.. with my prom hair. Oh my. So off can! I was so glad it was raining coz at least i got an umbrella to cover my head, or rather cover my view so I won't see all the eyes darting to my weird outfit. Haha.. so I walked in orchard like that! So weird larz, and so paiseh... Finally I reached my mum's place and got dressed and she helped me with the make up. Phew... I guess all those paiseh moments on the street's worth it bah. Haha..
OH! And i went to the wrong hotel! Well, my dad drove me there, and i just got off even though I felt weird. Coz my friends told me it's at clarke quay but I was at city hall!! haha.. I saw an innovian and took cab with her. So funny. What's worse? The taxi driver doesn't know the way. =_= So we walked there from MOM. Was like so damn late already larz, yet so many people were outside standing, taking pictures and all. Hahaha.. so we weren't late even though we were late. Heh? hahaha...
Went to the balcony and even though all my friends strongly encouraged me to take cab home, I decided to walk home. haha... It was almost 2 am and I walked just like that. Well actually I quite enjoy walking, especially when it's all quiet. :) If it wasn't for the killer heels, I would have totally enjoyed the walk home. I still enjoyed it though, just not totally. Heh heh... And I finally got to take a picture of something that I've always wanted to take!! How come I only took it just now? Coz it's weird to take the picture when there are ppl around looking. haha... So happY!! But i didn't dare to move too close coz it's pitch black beside that pillar, where the walkway leads to an old building.
K finally, the pictures! :D Not all of them though, just some of them. :)
Friday 1 December 2006
new drawings =]
Heh.. So i've been drawing a little here and there and here's the outcome!! Erm... ya. This one is another of my mad drawing. Hope tt you'll like it =) And ya.. i know, it looks kinda incomplete coz that twirly thingy's only at one corner.. a bit lazy to draw another one since it's quite experimental. haha..
Erm.. this one here is supposed to be a sketch of sth i saw online.. i completed it today but the picture's not taken yet.. so this is the incomplete version. Hmm... After completing it, I am really not satisfied.. and I realised that shadows are hard stuff. *sigh* I still think that the completed version is somewhat ugly. Haiz.. so ugly that I don't dare to show you the original picture i saw online. Haha.. That lady is very pretty leh.
The eyes had problem, the angle of the nose has problem, the shadow from the side of the lip to her face has A LOT of problem, her left nostril was somewhat problematic too.. AHHHHH~ It was an interesting experience... And i drew while listening to Enya in the evening, nearly fell asleep while shading. xD
I guess I have A LOT of work to do. *sigh* It's still kinda hard to reach "a life sketch a day". And tomorrow's back to dancing... Haiz.. wonder how i'm gonna survive in dance after so long. Eeks! Erm.. Let's hope that i'll come back alive tomorrow. And that I'll wake up early enough to meet up with yuan yuan!! Ha..
Erm.. this one here is supposed to be a sketch of sth i saw online.. i completed it today but the picture's not taken yet.. so this is the incomplete version. Hmm... After completing it, I am really not satisfied.. and I realised that shadows are hard stuff. *sigh* I still think that the completed version is somewhat ugly. Haiz.. so ugly that I don't dare to show you the original picture i saw online. Haha.. That lady is very pretty leh.The eyes had problem, the angle of the nose has problem, the shadow from the side of the lip to her face has A LOT of problem, her left nostril was somewhat problematic too.. AHHHHH~ It was an interesting experience... And i drew while listening to Enya in the evening, nearly fell asleep while shading. xD
I guess I have A LOT of work to do. *sigh* It's still kinda hard to reach "a life sketch a day". And tomorrow's back to dancing... Haiz.. wonder how i'm gonna survive in dance after so long. Eeks! Erm.. Let's hope that i'll come back alive tomorrow. And that I'll wake up early enough to meet up with yuan yuan!! Ha..
Thursday 30 November 2006
waiting for nothing
I've been waiting.... for nothing.
I am still waiting, even though i know it's still nothing.
Once the nothing is something, I won't have to wait,
And once the nothing is no longer there, I will stop waiting.
I'm typing all these... for nothing.
In other words,
Because there is nothing, that's why I'm typing these.
Bwahahahaha!!! That's the madness of me for now. One day the line "I am waiting" came into my mind and it's supposed to be said in the irritated tone. yeah.. Last night 2 am, I was watching this jap movie abt ninjas, not bad, quite nice... and funny. haha..
你会陪我一起打雪仗吗？
I am still waiting, even though i know it's still nothing.
Once the nothing is something, I won't have to wait,
And once the nothing is no longer there, I will stop waiting.
I'm typing all these... for nothing.
In other words,
Because there is nothing, that's why I'm typing these.
Bwahahahaha!!! That's the madness of me for now. One day the line "I am waiting" came into my mind and it's supposed to be said in the irritated tone. yeah.. Last night 2 am, I was watching this jap movie abt ninjas, not bad, quite nice... and funny. haha..
你会陪我一起打雪仗吗？
Wednesday 29 November 2006
Friday 24 November 2006
randomness from insomnia
It sure seems like now that we've graduated from jc and temporarily (or permanently) will not be experiencing life as a student (or undergraduate for that matter), there isn't much to blog about. Life's been losing its colour though I'm sure that once I stop this slacker way of life, the colours would be back. Hmm... it's kinda contradicting isn't it, that i'm actually blogging now about how I don't blog as often. Haha... I just felt like slotting in an entry.
Well, it's not that I don't feel anything recently... it's just that all the uncertainties, worries, fears, and whatsoevers are already part of my daily life, such that they are not so special anymore. Anyway, nothing special has been happening, regardless of how much I wish for it. Growing 3 cm overnight could have made my day, or week, or month... but this'll never come (naturally). Oh well, I guess I should give up that 3 cm.
Life's been kinda bad recently though I've gained freedom for quite some time already. Hmm... Of course, the not-so-good side of love has constantly been absorbing my happiness, but now, I seem to be getting minor headaches every now and then. Perhaps this has something to do with my unhealthy way of life, which I suppose GK would know. Haha... I've been sleeping late, or if you would prefer, very early. Hmm.. well, between 4 to 5 am, to be more precise. If that isn't weird enough, read on... I stay awake not because I have things to do.. not because I'm addicted to games or just can't detach myself from "Prince of Tennis" anime on YouTube.com. I can just sit on the sofa in the living room, staring into space, listening to silence... Occasionally, I'll look out of through the balcony, staring at the usually black road which now has an orange tint to it due to the lamps.
Through these crazy nights, I came to realise that it's not that easy to exactly "listen to silence" in my living room. When you're deep in thoughts, well.. fairly easy to drift to a different dimension, but when you're seriously drifting randomly from one thought to another, you can't help but gradually notice the clock ticking extremely loudly, and sometimes, the sounds of a car passing. Ha! For that matter, I'm glad to say that the roads in my area are quite quiet unless some crazy racers zoom pass. Well, they used to do that quite often, but come to think of it.. I don't remember hearing them recently. Hmm.. nice. :D
Headaches are horrible... they really make me feel sick. I will suspect if I'm having a fever, and will sometimes be disappointed to find that I do not have a fever. Haha.. weirdo. Headaches also make me feel like puking... urgh.. i hate this nauseous feeling. Why can't we fall ill without feeling nauseous? haha.. I kinda feel like falling ill recently. Eh.. As in I want to fall ill. But well, it seems like I am gonna fall ill if I go on with my way of life. Hmm.. oh well.
URGHH..
Well, it's not that I don't feel anything recently... it's just that all the uncertainties, worries, fears, and whatsoevers are already part of my daily life, such that they are not so special anymore. Anyway, nothing special has been happening, regardless of how much I wish for it. Growing 3 cm overnight could have made my day, or week, or month... but this'll never come (naturally). Oh well, I guess I should give up that 3 cm.
Life's been kinda bad recently though I've gained freedom for quite some time already. Hmm... Of course, the not-so-good side of love has constantly been absorbing my happiness, but now, I seem to be getting minor headaches every now and then. Perhaps this has something to do with my unhealthy way of life, which I suppose GK would know. Haha... I've been sleeping late, or if you would prefer, very early. Hmm.. well, between 4 to 5 am, to be more precise. If that isn't weird enough, read on... I stay awake not because I have things to do.. not because I'm addicted to games or just can't detach myself from "Prince of Tennis" anime on YouTube.com. I can just sit on the sofa in the living room, staring into space, listening to silence... Occasionally, I'll look out of through the balcony, staring at the usually black road which now has an orange tint to it due to the lamps.
Through these crazy nights, I came to realise that it's not that easy to exactly "listen to silence" in my living room. When you're deep in thoughts, well.. fairly easy to drift to a different dimension, but when you're seriously drifting randomly from one thought to another, you can't help but gradually notice the clock ticking extremely loudly, and sometimes, the sounds of a car passing. Ha! For that matter, I'm glad to say that the roads in my area are quite quiet unless some crazy racers zoom pass. Well, they used to do that quite often, but come to think of it.. I don't remember hearing them recently. Hmm.. nice. :D
Headaches are horrible... they really make me feel sick. I will suspect if I'm having a fever, and will sometimes be disappointed to find that I do not have a fever. Haha.. weirdo. Headaches also make me feel like puking... urgh.. i hate this nauseous feeling. Why can't we fall ill without feeling nauseous? haha.. I kinda feel like falling ill recently. Eh.. As in I want to fall ill. But well, it seems like I am gonna fall ill if I go on with my way of life. Hmm.. oh well.
URGHH..
Monday 20 November 2006
Seriously...
嗯。。。认真的男人，真是帅！
哈哈。。。 请别介意我这突如其来的感叹。 男生认真起来的时候，真的很帅哦！即使他们本来普普通通，但认真做事情时，就是不一样。我想，当我们认真做事情时，会散发出某种魅力吧。不论男女，在这种时候都会特别吸引人。最近看到一个男生拉小提琴。。。优美的旋律，加上那男生认真，陶醉的样子，真的很吸引人！但它歇下乐器时，嗯。。。 是另一回事。哈哈。。。
最近又再次发现我真的很欣赏有才华的男生。比起那些空有外表的，我比较喜欢有才气的人。但是，如果性格不好，那又是另外一回事了。啊。。。开始复杂化了。
A sudden urge to venture into the world of english literature... only a little. Haha... Some time ago, I felt like reading a bit more about pride and prejudice, and I did... Then after watching In Her Shoes just now, I feel like buying a book of poems to read. Hmm... See, without exams and all the stress, it's a better learning environment! I'll be curious with a lot of things, it's natural! But, I usually will just have the ideas but not the actions. Haha.. so I guess school is still crucial in my life. :P
Surprisingly, the memories that came back weren't really about my jc life. I actually thought more about my time in crez dance, and of course... hee hee. I feel that jc life has shown me more about the ugly side of society, life, people in general, love, and of course me. I guess the reason why people look back to their school life is that it's less ugly then, and more carefree. As we grow older, we have a greater need to learn to enjoy life, to enjoy life even when you see more of the ugly side. That's a really great challenge, and perhaps that's why we share bonds with so many people... to lighten our load, to share the burden, to overcome the obstacles, and last of all to celebrate the victories together!
哈哈。。。 请别介意我这突如其来的感叹。 男生认真起来的时候，真的很帅哦！即使他们本来普普通通，但认真做事情时，就是不一样。我想，当我们认真做事情时，会散发出某种魅力吧。不论男女，在这种时候都会特别吸引人。最近看到一个男生拉小提琴。。。优美的旋律，加上那男生认真，陶醉的样子，真的很吸引人！但它歇下乐器时，嗯。。。 是另一回事。哈哈。。。
最近又再次发现我真的很欣赏有才华的男生。比起那些空有外表的，我比较喜欢有才气的人。但是，如果性格不好，那又是另外一回事了。啊。。。开始复杂化了。
A sudden urge to venture into the world of english literature... only a little. Haha... Some time ago, I felt like reading a bit more about pride and prejudice, and I did... Then after watching In Her Shoes just now, I feel like buying a book of poems to read. Hmm... See, without exams and all the stress, it's a better learning environment! I'll be curious with a lot of things, it's natural! But, I usually will just have the ideas but not the actions. Haha.. so I guess school is still crucial in my life. :P
Surprisingly, the memories that came back weren't really about my jc life. I actually thought more about my time in crez dance, and of course... hee hee. I feel that jc life has shown me more about the ugly side of society, life, people in general, love, and of course me. I guess the reason why people look back to their school life is that it's less ugly then, and more carefree. As we grow older, we have a greater need to learn to enjoy life, to enjoy life even when you see more of the ugly side. That's a really great challenge, and perhaps that's why we share bonds with so many people... to lighten our load, to share the burden, to overcome the obstacles, and last of all to celebrate the victories together!
Friday 17 November 2006
yet another round
Somehow, I feel that it's not that I don't know why I'm sad, it's just that I don't wanna face it. One other thing, I really hate being tied down. Just leave me alone and give me some personal space! What's the point of forcing me to go with you all if I'm not gonna enjoy myself there? I'll just be ruining the atmosphere for all of you anyway. I juz feel like being left alone for a while...
This is getting emotional... how emotional? I wanted to write and/or draw in the room just now, and I asked my brother to leave the lights on. He wants to sleep, so he asked after I came out from the toilet if he can turn off the lights already. I told him my purpose of turning on the lights, but decided to off it anyway. I've made a good decision, coz he started to grunt a little that i'm gonna leave the lights on. Ya, so what's so emotional about it. After that, I walked into the toilet again, locked myself in and started crying. Sigh... I've found out why I'm so emotional anyway, it's the usual cycle... yeah, that. Sigh... like things aren't bad enough, I have to get emotional and make everything look worse.
I'm very much addicted to the song "Angels and Devils". The whole song sounds so sad, exactly how i felt some time ago... listened to it everywhere I go, pushing myself deeper inside, burying myself in the mount of sadness.
My will is shaking... should i? should i? I know there's nothing to lose anymore, now that it's all coming to an end... But the only way to let myself go is for me to let go. I need to let go, before I can be free... I want to just throw it all out, regardless of the outcome. I'm pessimistic about the outcome anyway, so how much worse can it get?
This is getting emotional... how emotional? I wanted to write and/or draw in the room just now, and I asked my brother to leave the lights on. He wants to sleep, so he asked after I came out from the toilet if he can turn off the lights already. I told him my purpose of turning on the lights, but decided to off it anyway. I've made a good decision, coz he started to grunt a little that i'm gonna leave the lights on. Ya, so what's so emotional about it. After that, I walked into the toilet again, locked myself in and started crying. Sigh... I've found out why I'm so emotional anyway, it's the usual cycle... yeah, that. Sigh... like things aren't bad enough, I have to get emotional and make everything look worse.
I'm very much addicted to the song "Angels and Devils". The whole song sounds so sad, exactly how i felt some time ago... listened to it everywhere I go, pushing myself deeper inside, burying myself in the mount of sadness.
My will is shaking... should i? should i? I know there's nothing to lose anymore, now that it's all coming to an end... But the only way to let myself go is for me to let go. I need to let go, before I can be free... I want to just throw it all out, regardless of the outcome. I'm pessimistic about the outcome anyway, so how much worse can it get?
Thursday 16 November 2006
The sudden change in life
Once, life had been so easy... with nothing to worry about, and only one path to take. With no worries, we all went on the same journey... carefree...
As life went on, we gradually realise that life isn't that easy afterall. It is time for us to choose a path among several, if not may. All is unknown, the view ahead is pitchblack, but we have to make a choice, and move on with life... dealing with the unknown, walking in complete darkness.
Wednesday 15 November 2006
over
Finally... oh finally.... *great big sigh* Finally, it's all over! 'A' Levels has officially ended for me!! Yay!! haha.... yay........ *sigh* It doesn't seem like a big change. It seems like my friends have bigger reactions to my situation than I have... They still have papers. But, I've been in this kinda mood since math had ended... Don't feel like studying anything at all.
Econs was a disaster, that's all I have to say. No hopes of passing anymore... I am officially dead. Do visit me at my grave, and remember to bring flowers... 15 November 2006 marks the downfall of xiaohei.
一切都结束了，但我心中却有种莫名的伤感。不知道为什么，虽然都考完了，却一点也兴奋不起来。回家的路上，竟有种带点悲伤的寂寞。就这样的，边沉浸在这伤感中，边思索着为何会如此。是因为他吗？是因为我以后都不能再见到他了吗？还是因为有种失去了方向的感觉呢？结果会如何？未来我会怎么样？以后的路该怎么走？啊~ 我想我知道为什么了。。。应该是因为，我不知道以后会怎么样吧。 无法预测未来会如何，因此感到害怕吗？
我想就是这样吧。 但我能肯定，部分的原因是他吧。最近，尝到了一点甜头，但这是先甜后苦吗？我深怕再次感到那样的脆弱，无助。。。我怕这一切都是虚幻的。 我又能怎样？这只是友谊吗？这只是友谊吧。 我们只不过成为了更好的朋友罢了。
I find that he has been quite a distraction. I should have pulled myself out before I totally fell inside the pit. It's not like I didn't realise that i'm falling.. I knew that I was gonna drop inside already, and I just allowed that to happen, knowing that i'll get nothing out of it! What am I? an idiot? Oh yes I am one!!
Sigh, now that i've reached the latest episode of "Prince of Tennis", I've no idea what other ways I have to entertain myself. Perhaps I should find another anime to watch... and start drawing again. Sigh.... I still have to build up my portfolio... Mr Lee wants us in school
Econs was a disaster, that's all I have to say. No hopes of passing anymore... I am officially dead. Do visit me at my grave, and remember to bring flowers... 15 November 2006 marks the downfall of xiaohei.
一切都结束了，但我心中却有种莫名的伤感。不知道为什么，虽然都考完了，却一点也兴奋不起来。回家的路上，竟有种带点悲伤的寂寞。就这样的，边沉浸在这伤感中，边思索着为何会如此。是因为他吗？是因为我以后都不能再见到他了吗？还是因为有种失去了方向的感觉呢？结果会如何？未来我会怎么样？以后的路该怎么走？啊~ 我想我知道为什么了。。。应该是因为，我不知道以后会怎么样吧。 无法预测未来会如何，因此感到害怕吗？
我想就是这样吧。 但我能肯定，部分的原因是他吧。最近，尝到了一点甜头，但这是先甜后苦吗？我深怕再次感到那样的脆弱，无助。。。我怕这一切都是虚幻的。 我又能怎样？这只是友谊吗？这只是友谊吧。 我们只不过成为了更好的朋友罢了。
I find that he has been quite a distraction. I should have pulled myself out before I totally fell inside the pit. It's not like I didn't realise that i'm falling.. I knew that I was gonna drop inside already, and I just allowed that to happen, knowing that i'll get nothing out of it! What am I? an idiot? Oh yes I am one!!
Sigh, now that i've reached the latest episode of "Prince of Tennis", I've no idea what other ways I have to entertain myself. Perhaps I should find another anime to watch... and start drawing again. Sigh.... I still have to build up my portfolio... Mr Lee wants us in school
Sunday 12 November 2006
In the midst of my downfall
Well, still in the midst of 'A' Levels and I have this sudden urge to blog. Ok, fine... not really "urge".. I guess i'm just bored. Haha... Not like I have nothing to do. The stack of econs stuff had been moved by me nightly from the desk to the bed, so tt i can put my food on the desk while watching "Prince of Tennis" on YouTube, and from the bed to the desk when I'm gonna sleep. Hahaha... What a loser. YEAH! oh my... I haven't been studying!! AND THIS IS THE MOST SCARY SUBJECT THAT I AM TAKING!!
I guess it's because everything's coming to an end that i really have no mood to study at all. It's really weird coz I actually studied more for prelim 2 than for 'A's. Heh... well except chinese and Stats. >.< This time round, I read through some things on chinese, but paper 1 was horribly done. I also managed to remember that paper 2 includes prob and stats, and made notes the night before.. Erm.. like from ard 12 am to 3 am ++? hahaha... Sigh...
I
AM
SO
LAZY!!
That's my confession. And it's not very good for me to confess this so truthfully and whole-heartedly. Eeks! As for the other confession? Bah... forget it larz. Nothing to expect from it, except disappointment (even though I should know the outcome) and the I-knew-this-was-coming. Haha... Well, at least by that time, people would be done with their 'A's and I'll have friends to console me! BUT, that is if i seek consolation from them :P
Err.. let me see, to update my current situation on 'A's:
GP -- Not too good, not too bad. Seems the usual. Which means I might be able to pass, but no hopes of scoring. B would be a luxury already.
Chinese -- As i've said, paper 1's horrible!! Juz in case you think tt paper 1 is essay-writing, nah... paper 1 is essay-writing + language paper. Why are they so bad? I SLEPT!! SEVERAL TIMES!! Well, that taught me a lesson. From then on, I made sure I get enough sleep the night before the papers. (But chinese is the last paper with morning paper so it's fine to sleep late from then on :D)
Math 9233 -- Err.. Paper 1 is better than I thought, but not too good. I erm... kinda expected myself to be skipping a whole lot of qns coz i didn't finish revising. I did skip qns in the end, but not a lot larz. And lucky me, I didn't study vectors and numerical methods for paper 1. They didn't come out!! YEAH! Paper 2... as i said, was doing super last minute work on stats. And read numerical methods and vectors on e train trip to school. Super duper last minute work. Skipped a few qns in paper 2 too. Overall. IF, i say IF, this is like the ijc standard, there's hope of aceing. However, that is IF it's ijc standard. which means, not high hopes of aceing. eeks!
Econs -- Not taken yet, but I can start predicting already. I am dead. I am doomed. I am in deep sh*t. This is gonna be the downfall of this black creature here. Hahaha... Oh, how can i still laugh.
Failed attempt to go to City Hall and Tanglin Camp today coz I was too lazy to move my butt, and there was no one to go with. Well, one of the purpose to have someone to go with is to force me to move my butt. Hahaha... oh well. At least I went to City Hall once, all thanks to Chaky. If i failed my econs, it'll be his fault! haha.. juz kidding. I took some pictures with my phone, and regret not taking more. Well, the photographer's someone else. Sigh... and I'm not used to taking pictures all the time, juz forgot to take them lorz. :p Will put up the pictures i took the next time coz blogger's not letting me upload them -_-" haiz.. hopefully by then i can get the pictures from the photographer, then can post everything together :)
I guess it's because everything's coming to an end that i really have no mood to study at all. It's really weird coz I actually studied more for prelim 2 than for 'A's. Heh... well except chinese and Stats. >.< This time round, I read through some things on chinese, but paper 1 was horribly done. I also managed to remember that paper 2 includes prob and stats, and made notes the night before.. Erm.. like from ard 12 am to 3 am ++? hahaha... Sigh...
I
AM
SO
LAZY!!
That's my confession. And it's not very good for me to confess this so truthfully and whole-heartedly. Eeks! As for the other confession? Bah... forget it larz. Nothing to expect from it, except disappointment (even though I should know the outcome) and the I-knew-this-was-coming. Haha... Well, at least by that time, people would be done with their 'A's and I'll have friends to console me! BUT, that is if i seek consolation from them :P
Err.. let me see, to update my current situation on 'A's:
GP -- Not too good, not too bad. Seems the usual. Which means I might be able to pass, but no hopes of scoring. B would be a luxury already.
Chinese -- As i've said, paper 1's horrible!! Juz in case you think tt paper 1 is essay-writing, nah... paper 1 is essay-writing + language paper. Why are they so bad? I SLEPT!! SEVERAL TIMES!! Well, that taught me a lesson. From then on, I made sure I get enough sleep the night before the papers. (But chinese is the last paper with morning paper so it's fine to sleep late from then on :D)
Math 9233 -- Err.. Paper 1 is better than I thought, but not too good. I erm... kinda expected myself to be skipping a whole lot of qns coz i didn't finish revising. I did skip qns in the end, but not a lot larz. And lucky me, I didn't study vectors and numerical methods for paper 1. They didn't come out!! YEAH! Paper 2... as i said, was doing super last minute work on stats. And read numerical methods and vectors on e train trip to school. Super duper last minute work. Skipped a few qns in paper 2 too. Overall. IF, i say IF, this is like the ijc standard, there's hope of aceing. However, that is IF it's ijc standard. which means, not high hopes of aceing. eeks!
Econs -- Not taken yet, but I can start predicting already. I am dead. I am doomed. I am in deep sh*t. This is gonna be the downfall of this black creature here. Hahaha... Oh, how can i still laugh.
Failed attempt to go to City Hall and Tanglin Camp today coz I was too lazy to move my butt, and there was no one to go with. Well, one of the purpose to have someone to go with is to force me to move my butt. Hahaha... oh well. At least I went to City Hall once, all thanks to Chaky. If i failed my econs, it'll be his fault! haha.. juz kidding. I took some pictures with my phone, and regret not taking more. Well, the photographer's someone else. Sigh... and I'm not used to taking pictures all the time, juz forgot to take them lorz. :p Will put up the pictures i took the next time coz blogger's not letting me upload them -_-" haiz.. hopefully by then i can get the pictures from the photographer, then can post everything together :)
Saturday 4 November 2006
today's crap
Look at what i've found in ELLE magazine (Oct 06), under ellehoroscope:
GEMINI
21 MAY - 21 JUN
An opportunity offered to you at the end of September seems to be a dream come true -- but you should wait for a few weeks, if possible, before you say yes. You need to find out more about it, and to assess what it will demand from you as well as its rewards. In mid-October you will get to see it in a very different light, which may make you glad you waited; but if you still think it's what you want, then go ahead.
HAHAHA.. hilarious! xD Well, this actually applies to several things that had happened, including the one that I guess you're thinking about now. Haha.. but whether I saw these things in a different light in mid-October or some other time, I can't be sure. Well you see, I don't really keep track of time, as most of you already know. hahaha.. yep.
That's all the crap for today. Unless you wanna know that I haven't been studying as usual. Oops.. haha.. That leaves me 2 days to touch on pure mathematics and a day for stats! no no...
GEMINI
21 MAY - 21 JUN
An opportunity offered to you at the end of September seems to be a dream come true -- but you should wait for a few weeks, if possible, before you say yes. You need to find out more about it, and to assess what it will demand from you as well as its rewards. In mid-October you will get to see it in a very different light, which may make you glad you waited; but if you still think it's what you want, then go ahead.
HAHAHA.. hilarious! xD Well, this actually applies to several things that had happened, including the one that I guess you're thinking about now. Haha.. but whether I saw these things in a different light in mid-October or some other time, I can't be sure. Well you see, I don't really keep track of time, as most of you already know. hahaha.. yep.
That's all the crap for today. Unless you wanna know that I haven't been studying as usual. Oops.. haha.. That leaves me 2 days to touch on pure mathematics and a day for stats! no no...
Thursday 2 November 2006
New mad drawing
Here's my new drawing.. done when i'm supposed to be preparing for 'A's. Heh heh.. well, i started some time ago, and finishing it will make me feel more accomplished and less distracted (somehow), so I decided to finish it! hahaha.. If i'm right, it was done by early halloween :) Slept late to finish it.
Well, erm.. first, tell me what you think i'm drawing by looking at the 'big picture' up there. :) Thanks. I wanna see how others interpret my drawing. At the end of this entry, I'll be revealing what i'm actually drawing.. It's nothing too deep, by the way.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed these photos :) judging by how clear the pictures are, i guess you know that I didn't use my phone to take it. Haha.. I used my bro's camera secretly.. SHHH... Hahaha.. like it matters.
So now, to reveal the answer. What i'm drawing.. or rather, my inspiration is actually a plant. So, I'm kinda like drawing a growing seed. Haha.. out of the 6 ppl i've asked so far, 3 realised that it's a plant (though one knew it from me some time earlier, before i completed this piece. haha..) 4 others thought that it's sth to do with love, coz of the heart-shaped like thingy. Mel was quite funny, she thought tt i'm trying to say tt the love is running away. HAHAHA.. but well, i have to agree that when i drew the roots, i thought they look like legs, and i might've purposedly positioned them there. xD Fred thought that it's a plant, but with a deeper meaning (related to love again). He thinks that I'm trying to say sth like the love is growing. Hmm... But well, i was just drawing a growing seed.. that came to my mind as a random idea :P
Next, GOOD NEWS!! erm.. Well, one of it is good larz. xD
Peeps! Please visit marina square between 9 to 12 november. Noise festival will be launched 6.30 pm at 9 nov there. My artwork would be displayed too :) And yeah, i'll be paying my artwork a visit, and of course its neighbours *wink* Muz go arh.. Muz arh!! I'll camp there and you better show your face i tell ya! hahaha...
The good news is, the person in noise singapore called to tell me that I'm given an opportunity to showcase my artwork on a magazine too, but it's a video games magazine, so I would have to draw something related to that... which is kinda hard with my style (referring to my mad drawings here). I asked her for the deadline and she said, "I will need your commitment for the next 2 days." Oops... the next 2 days = 2 and 3 november = 'A's language papers. Ahem hem hem... Ya, so i gave it a pass lorz. But she said that she'll try to find a slot to squeeze me in, perhaps for jan 07 issue :) That would be nice. But again, video games... *troubled*
Well, erm.. first, tell me what you think i'm drawing by looking at the 'big picture' up there. :) Thanks. I wanna see how others interpret my drawing. At the end of this entry, I'll be revealing what i'm actually drawing.. It's nothing too deep, by the way.
Well, I hope you can see the animals here. There's a rabbit (quite obvious), a snail, a squirrel, a goldfish, a pig, a bird, a cat, and a boy(this is not an animal xD assuming animals = non-human animals) I ran out of ideas and visions/sights/creativity.. whatever, halfway through drawing, and was unable to link the shapes to any animal. So, well.. I'm not that satisfied.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed these photos :) judging by how clear the pictures are, i guess you know that I didn't use my phone to take it. Haha.. I used my bro's camera secretly.. SHHH... Hahaha.. like it matters.
So now, to reveal the answer. What i'm drawing.. or rather, my inspiration is actually a plant. So, I'm kinda like drawing a growing seed. Haha.. out of the 6 ppl i've asked so far, 3 realised that it's a plant (though one knew it from me some time earlier, before i completed this piece. haha..) 4 others thought that it's sth to do with love, coz of the heart-shaped like thingy. Mel was quite funny, she thought tt i'm trying to say tt the love is running away. HAHAHA.. but well, i have to agree that when i drew the roots, i thought they look like legs, and i might've purposedly positioned them there. xD Fred thought that it's a plant, but with a deeper meaning (related to love again). He thinks that I'm trying to say sth like the love is growing. Hmm... But well, i was just drawing a growing seed.. that came to my mind as a random idea :P
Next, GOOD NEWS!! erm.. Well, one of it is good larz. xD
Peeps! Please visit marina square between 9 to 12 november. Noise festival will be launched 6.30 pm at 9 nov there. My artwork would be displayed too :) And yeah, i'll be paying my artwork a visit, and of course its neighbours *wink* Muz go arh.. Muz arh!! I'll camp there and you better show your face i tell ya! hahaha...
The good news is, the person in noise singapore called to tell me that I'm given an opportunity to showcase my artwork on a magazine too, but it's a video games magazine, so I would have to draw something related to that... which is kinda hard with my style (referring to my mad drawings here). I asked her for the deadline and she said, "I will need your commitment for the next 2 days." Oops... the next 2 days = 2 and 3 november = 'A's language papers. Ahem hem hem... Ya, so i gave it a pass lorz. But she said that she'll try to find a slot to squeeze me in, perhaps for jan 07 issue :) That would be nice. But again, video games... *troubled*
Tuesday 31 October 2006
for once, i'm right!
Sigh.. I've been with my friends recently, and i had this gut feeling that they know about it, that they have a perfect idea who "he" is... Some time ago, i found out tt one of those i think know abt it, does know abt it. Ha.. Today... I found out that the other one whom i suspect know abt it, does know abt it too! What's more, one whom I do not think will sense, sensed it too!! Well, i'm not worry about it, because I know that these people are trustworthy, unlike some others :P Haha...
So what's wrong with them knowing, you might ask.. Well... these people know about it, but him? HIM? I bet he has no idea at all. Sigh... After 'A's, i tell myself, after 'A's... And after 'A's, they tell me, after 'A's... haha... but chances aren't high, i kept telling myself. I think he still likes that other girl a lot.. I have this gut feeling that he really likes her a lot. *shrugs* We shall see then... abt a month later...
Ehhh... hooked to this song, that's not very new.. hahaha... Here's the lyrics:
If you're not the one - Daniel Bedingfield
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
So what's wrong with them knowing, you might ask.. Well... these people know about it, but him? HIM? I bet he has no idea at all. Sigh... After 'A's, i tell myself, after 'A's... And after 'A's, they tell me, after 'A's... haha... but chances aren't high, i kept telling myself. I think he still likes that other girl a lot.. I have this gut feeling that he really likes her a lot. *shrugs* We shall see then... abt a month later...
Ehhh... hooked to this song, that's not very new.. hahaha... Here's the lyrics:
If you're not the one - Daniel Bedingfield
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
Friday 27 October 2006
bound by love
The meaning behind a marriage is love,
....Bound by love....
Well, just some experimental photos. :) First saw this thing on net, and I was random enough a while ago to try it out myself. Well, as you can see, the shadow's not very clear, that's because I'm doing stuff in broad daylight, and i'm getting the sunlight as the source of light. That explains the faint shadow. But well, it has been a fun experience :) You should try it out yourself.
I guess I'll be posting more photos than before, with this new phone :) YAA~ heh heh. I guess you can see that i really love this phone a lot. So please please please don't let me lose it! Thanks! Oh, and if you look carefully at the photos and read the words there, you'll realised what book that is. :P
It's rather amazing how i can finish reading a 700-odd-paged Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix so fast (considering my reading speed) when I can't even finish one booklet of econs notes, or one page of chinese literature essay/notes. Eeks.. Nope, that book in the picture's not the fifth book, but the sixth book. You see, I've finished the fifth book, and am currently moving to the sixth already. :P I really ought to lock myself in a hotel with notes and notes only. Hahaha...
This last photograph, is just like one of my stickman drawings... Some sorta "Being alone in this big big world" thingy. Yep. You see that helpless little girl, standing alone in a gigantic world (in her opinion), which is my room. hahaha... she lives in a wooden box in my cupboard, with a human friend who looks just like her, several dressed teddy bears, and a hamster as roommates. Her neighbours include a relatively large tigger puppet waving a flag, a forever friend bear, a miniature piglet in a crez mug, and i can't remember what else. hahaha...
Enough crapping, it's time to read up on Feminism! Surprised I'm doing work? What's more, GP... Haha.. well, i woke up this morning remembering that there are about what, 5 more days to GP? Eeks.. really eekss...
just as the shadow of the ring is shaped as a heart.
....Bound by love....
Well, just some experimental photos. :) First saw this thing on net, and I was random enough a while ago to try it out myself. Well, as you can see, the shadow's not very clear, that's because I'm doing stuff in broad daylight, and i'm getting the sunlight as the source of light. That explains the faint shadow. But well, it has been a fun experience :) You should try it out yourself.
I guess I'll be posting more photos than before, with this new phone :) YAA~ heh heh. I guess you can see that i really love this phone a lot. So please please please don't let me lose it! Thanks! Oh, and if you look carefully at the photos and read the words there, you'll realised what book that is. :P
It's rather amazing how i can finish reading a 700-odd-paged Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix so fast (considering my reading speed) when I can't even finish one booklet of econs notes, or one page of chinese literature essay/notes. Eeks.. Nope, that book in the picture's not the fifth book, but the sixth book. You see, I've finished the fifth book, and am currently moving to the sixth already. :P I really ought to lock myself in a hotel with notes and notes only. Hahaha...
This last photograph, is just like one of my stickman drawings... Some sorta "Being alone in this big big world" thingy. Yep. You see that helpless little girl, standing alone in a gigantic world (in her opinion), which is my room. hahaha... she lives in a wooden box in my cupboard, with a human friend who looks just like her, several dressed teddy bears, and a hamster as roommates. Her neighbours include a relatively large tigger puppet waving a flag, a forever friend bear, a miniature piglet in a crez mug, and i can't remember what else. hahaha...
Enough crapping, it's time to read up on Feminism! Surprised I'm doing work? What's more, GP... Haha.. well, i woke up this morning remembering that there are about what, 5 more days to GP? Eeks.. really eekss...
Thursday 26 October 2006
New sketchbook!!
I've been eyeing several sketchbooks from kinokuniya for some time already, and all of them are rather expensive... Today, I finally decided to buy one. I LOVE THIS BOOK!! One of my concern earlier was that there is a price tag inside.. so ugly. And because it's stuck inside, on the paper, I guessed it'll be quite a challenge to remove it. Then recently, they brought in some new stocks!! They placed some wrapped ones! WRAPPED ONES!! hahaha.. and one of the wrapped ones is the colour that I want, lime green!! hahahahaha... so i bought it today. =) And here are the pictures!!
This book's paper is rather thick, so I think i'll be using it for my crazy drawings... ink work, you see. :) And most probably I'll keep the rough work away from here.. Haha.. below's a close up to show you what word is printed there. It says [etcetra], juz in case you still can't read it :)
Some information abt it:
- Acid-free premium 180 gsm cartridge paper.
- Produced using eco-pulp derived from sustainable forests.
I really, really love it. Don't you? :)
Monday 23 October 2006
I'm adapting...
Gradually, I got used to not seeing him... gradually, I got used to not chatting with him... gradually, I seem to have forgotten about him (sometimes)... Well, that's a good sign isn't it? But me mentioning it now is a bad sign... coz it shows that I still care :(. Haha.. as a matter of fact, yeah, I still care about it, and sometimes still brood over it and make myself sad... But well, at least I'm showing improvements *smile*
I guess I'm sticking with the idea of ignoring it until 'A's had ended... so as not to distract myself too much. I mean, while ignoring it, it's such a trouble already, can you imagine if I don't ignore it?! Haha... Well, till then... goodbye (to him).
As for the preparation for 'A's, erm.... *guilty* I... suppose.... .... I'm quite ..... fine..... *LIAR*. Haha.. I've been slacking, as usual. Sigh... can anyone stay by my side 24/7 and make sure tt i study?! Or can anyone say things like... "If you get an A for math, I'll get you a scanner." :P Muahaha...
I got my new phone today! YAA!!! heh heh... so happy. :) I better make sure I don't ever lose this phone... EVER! I'll get killed by my parents if i ever do lose it... Nope, they won't do the job, killing me.. but they'll make sure that I feel so bad that I'll do the job of killing myself. :P Haha... well, please... anyone... just make sure that i don't lose this phone!! Oh, and force me to study... haha...
I guess I'm sticking with the idea of ignoring it until 'A's had ended... so as not to distract myself too much. I mean, while ignoring it, it's such a trouble already, can you imagine if I don't ignore it?! Haha... Well, till then... goodbye (to him).
As for the preparation for 'A's, erm.... *guilty* I... suppose.... .... I'm quite ..... fine..... *LIAR*. Haha.. I've been slacking, as usual. Sigh... can anyone stay by my side 24/7 and make sure tt i study?! Or can anyone say things like... "If you get an A for math, I'll get you a scanner." :P Muahaha...
I got my new phone today! YAA!!! heh heh... so happy. :) I better make sure I don't ever lose this phone... EVER! I'll get killed by my parents if i ever do lose it... Nope, they won't do the job, killing me.. but they'll make sure that I feel so bad that I'll do the job of killing myself. :P Haha... well, please... anyone... just make sure that i don't lose this phone!! Oh, and force me to study... haha...
Tuesday 17 October 2006
new drawing
Felt like I should do some real people again... so i flipped the magazine.. and got this picture... erm.. I'm not satisfied with this piece coz I screwed up the eyes... sigh..... And i realised that the hair is REALLY hard to draw.. sigh... I'm enjoying shading more and more now though :)
Actually there's more to the clothes larz.. but there's sooo much detail! So i decided to drop it... :P What's more.. it's 1 am in the morning.. time to sleep. Actually if it wasn't for my brother, who kopped the com, I would've been playing on e com bah.. instead of sleeping. Yeah..
Happy drawing!
Actually there's more to the clothes larz.. but there's sooo much detail! So i decided to drop it... :P What's more.. it's 1 am in the morning.. time to sleep. Actually if it wasn't for my brother, who kopped the com, I would've been playing on e com bah.. instead of sleeping. Yeah..
Happy drawing!
I'm supposed to be studying with kai li now at liang court macs :P But i just can't give it a rest till i've uploaded the picture.. Heh heh... paiseh arh kai li... so ya.. that's all. Comment pls.. thx.
----updated---
Yep.. this is the picture.. This is maggie Q. And yes, I was supposed to be drawing maggie Q, but... they don't look alike, do they.. Haha.. now you know why i'm not satisfied with this piece :P
Sunday 15 October 2006
Hope will always be there
I've not given up hope.
Usually, that'll be something good, to be hopeful. This time round, I really wonder if it's alright to leave myself with some hope. Hope will always be there no matter what, but... is it going to help me through this? Or is it gonna ruin my life? Alright, perhaps not so serious that it'll ruin my life... just hurt me, I guess.. Anyway in my vision, I have a good life in the future!
It's like I'm still clinging on to it. Although I don't really pin that much hope already, I think I can't bring myself to believe everything to be true, that he hadn't felt anything for me at all, until I hear it from him. So I guess this whole matter can only get a rest after 'A' Levels, when I'll be free to ask him, just in case I get too sad to study.. :P In the first place, I don't study when I'm happy anyway. Hahaha...
Ehh... And about my vision, no idea why but I just seem to trust my vision. I feel like I'm Phoebe(not sure if i spelt it correctly), having these visions. haha... It might sound kinda weird to you, for me to be so naive and believe this kinda things. Sometimes, I just suddenly, randomly, have this feeling that something will happen. And when I get this kinda feeling, I'll feel very strongly about it. Evidence? need some evidence? Sure! haha..
1. Primary 6 -- I've this friend of mine, she's the kinda kid who fails practically everything except chinese. Her math grades are usually 40+, and I can't really remember if she had ever passed her math before. So anyway, one fine day, around prelim I guess, I saw her, and I had this feeling that she'll get 70+ for her math. And, I just told her about it. Haha... she, of course, naturally, did not trust my "gut feeling", and said it's impossible coz her usual grade's far from that. In the end, she did get 70+ for math!! But I don't think she remembered what I told her. Oh, well.. I was really thrilled when i know that I got it right. Haha...
2. Secondary 4 -- Piggy.. She's quite hardworking.. Well, if you compare the 2 of us, then she's VERY hardworking. :p I'm a sloth. So well, she got a 2-digit for her L1R5 for prelim. But I got this feeling that she'll get a single digit, or a 10 for her 'O's. However, this time round the feeling's not that strong. Oh, and she got a 9 in the end. Haha...
Yeah... those 2 are the only evidence that i can remember. :p So anyway, in my vision, I'm some busy woman, dressed like those 9-to-5, the higher end kind, leading a high life... ok.. not THAT high, but quite well-off. :) Hopefully I'm right again this time!
And it seems like I get all these "visions" when major exams are approaching. Haha... PSLE, 'O's, 'A's.. :P Let's hope there'll still be exams for me for the next 2 to 3 years... In Uni.
Usually, that'll be something good, to be hopeful. This time round, I really wonder if it's alright to leave myself with some hope. Hope will always be there no matter what, but... is it going to help me through this? Or is it gonna ruin my life? Alright, perhaps not so serious that it'll ruin my life... just hurt me, I guess.. Anyway in my vision, I have a good life in the future!
It's like I'm still clinging on to it. Although I don't really pin that much hope already, I think I can't bring myself to believe everything to be true, that he hadn't felt anything for me at all, until I hear it from him. So I guess this whole matter can only get a rest after 'A' Levels, when I'll be free to ask him, just in case I get too sad to study.. :P In the first place, I don't study when I'm happy anyway. Hahaha...
Ehh... And about my vision, no idea why but I just seem to trust my vision. I feel like I'm Phoebe(not sure if i spelt it correctly), having these visions. haha... It might sound kinda weird to you, for me to be so naive and believe this kinda things. Sometimes, I just suddenly, randomly, have this feeling that something will happen. And when I get this kinda feeling, I'll feel very strongly about it. Evidence? need some evidence? Sure! haha..
1. Primary 6 -- I've this friend of mine, she's the kinda kid who fails practically everything except chinese. Her math grades are usually 40+, and I can't really remember if she had ever passed her math before. So anyway, one fine day, around prelim I guess, I saw her, and I had this feeling that she'll get 70+ for her math. And, I just told her about it. Haha... she, of course, naturally, did not trust my "gut feeling", and said it's impossible coz her usual grade's far from that. In the end, she did get 70+ for math!! But I don't think she remembered what I told her. Oh, well.. I was really thrilled when i know that I got it right. Haha...
2. Secondary 4 -- Piggy.. She's quite hardworking.. Well, if you compare the 2 of us, then she's VERY hardworking. :p I'm a sloth. So well, she got a 2-digit for her L1R5 for prelim. But I got this feeling that she'll get a single digit, or a 10 for her 'O's. However, this time round the feeling's not that strong. Oh, and she got a 9 in the end. Haha...
Yeah... those 2 are the only evidence that i can remember. :p So anyway, in my vision, I'm some busy woman, dressed like those 9-to-5, the higher end kind, leading a high life... ok.. not THAT high, but quite well-off. :) Hopefully I'm right again this time!
And it seems like I get all these "visions" when major exams are approaching. Haha... PSLE, 'O's, 'A's.. :P Let's hope there'll still be exams for me for the next 2 to 3 years... In Uni.
Friday 13 October 2006
Don't like myself when....
突然想用华文打打字...
我非常讨厌沉浸在恋爱中的自己，或许因为这一次是单恋吧。当我这样子喜欢这一个人的时候，我变得好傻，好蠢... 白痴到我自己都受不了。一直以来，我都向往独立，坚强的那一面，但在这个时候，我却变得脆弱，无助，也开始依赖他人。我讨厌愚笨的自己... 但是，我不得不承认在这段恋情里，我是如此的愚昧，如此的看不清现实。
一开始，我便清楚的知道不该踏进这滩烂泥，但却仍然让我自己陷进去。很笨吧！唉~ 我真的有股冲动，向就那么告诉他：“我喜欢你...” 但是，我是个胆小鬼。胆小鬼！
虽然我没掉那么多的泪水，但我清楚的知道我还蛮难过的，也非常明白自己很被这事件所影响。为什么？其实，很明显的。自从着一件事过后，我变得安静了。奇怪吧。平时吵吵闹闹的我，竟然会安静？所以说嘛，就是有问题啦！那一天在学校里，死死的。昨天和朋友出去，也异常的安静。那几个男生还说怕我静静地在他们后面走回走丢，说要把我绑起来，拉着走，像小狗一样。哈哈。。。但我昨天是比较静啦，也走得很慢。或许是因为地点吧。他们所选择的地方，竟是那个拥有着一些回忆的地方。
昨天，搭车回家时，眼泪涌出，但我并没有让它们落下。当时的我在想，同样的地点，搭着同样的巴士，也同样是站在里头，心情却那么不同。快回家时，过了马路后，我们便分头走了。他们都搭地铁，所以最后只剩我一个人走到巴士车站。走过之前和他走过的路，但这一次，我是孤单的。一路走着，不免回忆起那只存在于回忆的兴奋与快乐。当时所抱有的希望，如今已不再。这静静的悲伤正静静的侵蚀着我的肉体，侵蚀着我的心灵。不久后，或许你们所认识的我永远都回不来了，我所认识的自己也永远都不在了。
Something's no longer there. That something that i had been hoping for will never be there anymore. I've grown to realise that I shouldn't be waiting for that something anymore. It wasn't meant for me, that something... neither was he meant for me. It is indeed a bad time to have discovered that, as it takes my mind off often, distracting me...
It's really hard to put on a mask, and i seldom do that. But even just a thin layer of mask hurts me a lot... like today. I had been smiling a lot, which just makes the pain even worse....
Yesterday, I survived through the whole day with one sandwich (homemade) and hazelnut hot chocolate from starbucks. I was worried that I'll go on like that, though I won't mind if it's just a short period of time, meaning that my weight will go down for the first time! Haha.. But well, I guess I worried for nothing, for now, I AM HUNGRY!! YEAH! :) Being hungry is a good thing. I never knew that feeling hungry can make me so relieved. Heehee... no no ... hee hee's no longer here.. heh heh...
and I saw him a few times today... sigh....
我非常讨厌沉浸在恋爱中的自己，或许因为这一次是单恋吧。当我这样子喜欢这一个人的时候，我变得好傻，好蠢... 白痴到我自己都受不了。一直以来，我都向往独立，坚强的那一面，但在这个时候，我却变得脆弱，无助，也开始依赖他人。我讨厌愚笨的自己... 但是，我不得不承认在这段恋情里，我是如此的愚昧，如此的看不清现实。
一开始，我便清楚的知道不该踏进这滩烂泥，但却仍然让我自己陷进去。很笨吧！唉~ 我真的有股冲动，向就那么告诉他：“我喜欢你...” 但是，我是个胆小鬼。胆小鬼！
虽然我没掉那么多的泪水，但我清楚的知道我还蛮难过的，也非常明白自己很被这事件所影响。为什么？其实，很明显的。自从着一件事过后，我变得安静了。奇怪吧。平时吵吵闹闹的我，竟然会安静？所以说嘛，就是有问题啦！那一天在学校里，死死的。昨天和朋友出去，也异常的安静。那几个男生还说怕我静静地在他们后面走回走丢，说要把我绑起来，拉着走，像小狗一样。哈哈。。。但我昨天是比较静啦，也走得很慢。或许是因为地点吧。他们所选择的地方，竟是那个拥有着一些回忆的地方。
昨天，搭车回家时，眼泪涌出，但我并没有让它们落下。当时的我在想，同样的地点，搭着同样的巴士，也同样是站在里头，心情却那么不同。快回家时，过了马路后，我们便分头走了。他们都搭地铁，所以最后只剩我一个人走到巴士车站。走过之前和他走过的路，但这一次，我是孤单的。一路走着，不免回忆起那只存在于回忆的兴奋与快乐。当时所抱有的希望，如今已不再。这静静的悲伤正静静的侵蚀着我的肉体，侵蚀着我的心灵。不久后，或许你们所认识的我永远都回不来了，我所认识的自己也永远都不在了。
Something's no longer there. That something that i had been hoping for will never be there anymore. I've grown to realise that I shouldn't be waiting for that something anymore. It wasn't meant for me, that something... neither was he meant for me. It is indeed a bad time to have discovered that, as it takes my mind off often, distracting me...
It's really hard to put on a mask, and i seldom do that. But even just a thin layer of mask hurts me a lot... like today. I had been smiling a lot, which just makes the pain even worse....
Yesterday, I survived through the whole day with one sandwich (homemade) and hazelnut hot chocolate from starbucks. I was worried that I'll go on like that, though I won't mind if it's just a short period of time, meaning that my weight will go down for the first time! Haha.. But well, I guess I worried for nothing, for now, I AM HUNGRY!! YEAH! :) Being hungry is a good thing. I never knew that feeling hungry can make me so relieved. Heehee... no no ... hee hee's no longer here.. heh heh...
and I saw him a few times today... sigh....
Thursday 12 October 2006
In pain
I'm in pain... emotionally and physically. Sigh... Stupid menstrual cramps. HATE IT!!! yes... HATE IT!!!
Here's my crazy attempt to clog up my blog with posts all happening on one day!! Hmm... This is the second post.. so let's see how many I'll be posting today.. Here's before my brother uses the com.
Well... Watched Goong just now, and some things touched my heart.. eg. "He can be nice to you occasionally, but the person he likes is still ____ ..." and "one-sided love is so tiring..." Yes.. exactly how I feel!
One of my friends used to say that I'm lucky enough to know the person I like, because some people don't get to know their crush. However, it's not so simple. Not knowing that person, doesn't make you like that person that much. Knowing him in person, makes you realise that you like him really much, and makes everything even more painful! Sigh... And to know that he knows you, without knowing that you like him! It's just like the chinese saying "The furthest distance is when I'm right beside you but you have no idea that I like you so". Yep..
And to think that I've been thinking so much when all along, he's been liking her! All along, he hasn't once fallen for me... How many times have I tried to get myself out and failed... Right at the beginning, I've told myself that I shouldn't venture too deep because it'll do me no good, I knew all along that I'll be hurt in the end but.... but....... but I just can't help it. While getting myself out of the endless pit, he comes by again and a "hi" from him pulls me lower, a tap from him cuts the rope I had been holding on to.... And I fall right down, knowing that he'll never be there to catch me, knowing that no one's gonna save me.
He's been nice to me... but that's just friendship. I've been constantly reminding myself that. It's just friendship! I made myself think in the bad way all the time, forcing myself to think that he dislikes my company to keep myself from finding him too often. I had forced myself to do as little as possible, so that I'll know if he does dislike my company. And several times, he had shown that I was wrong, that he doesn't dislike me! He finds me instead of me finding him! I even got to know that sometimes when he didn't approach me, it's because he had thought that I was busy doing things! Knowing all these just made me feel so happy... that I'm not being disliked. That at least there's still a speck of hope. Knowing all these now makes me feel so sad... that he's just a friendly creature being nice to me as he always does to everyone else.
My friends suggested that perhaps he's shy, just like me. I had thought of that before too because he does seem like a shy person. But, he had been very enthu with his crush. He did a lot of things.. but me? me? me??? what he had done to me is NOTHING to what he had done to her. So... there is nothing...
nothing...
nothing...
nothing...
nothing...
nothing...
nothing....
Perhaps, I should start convincing myself all over again that he dislikes me.
Goodbye!
And maybe i'll tell him one day that I had once fallen for him.
Here's my crazy attempt to clog up my blog with posts all happening on one day!! Hmm... This is the second post.. so let's see how many I'll be posting today.. Here's before my brother uses the com.
Well... Watched Goong just now, and some things touched my heart.. eg. "He can be nice to you occasionally, but the person he likes is still ____ ..." and "one-sided love is so tiring..." Yes.. exactly how I feel!
One of my friends used to say that I'm lucky enough to know the person I like, because some people don't get to know their crush. However, it's not so simple. Not knowing that person, doesn't make you like that person that much. Knowing him in person, makes you realise that you like him really much, and makes everything even more painful! Sigh... And to know that he knows you, without knowing that you like him! It's just like the chinese saying "The furthest distance is when I'm right beside you but you have no idea that I like you so". Yep..
And to think that I've been thinking so much when all along, he's been liking her! All along, he hasn't once fallen for me... How many times have I tried to get myself out and failed... Right at the beginning, I've told myself that I shouldn't venture too deep because it'll do me no good, I knew all along that I'll be hurt in the end but.... but....... but I just can't help it. While getting myself out of the endless pit, he comes by again and a "hi" from him pulls me lower, a tap from him cuts the rope I had been holding on to.... And I fall right down, knowing that he'll never be there to catch me, knowing that no one's gonna save me.
He's been nice to me... but that's just friendship. I've been constantly reminding myself that. It's just friendship! I made myself think in the bad way all the time, forcing myself to think that he dislikes my company to keep myself from finding him too often. I had forced myself to do as little as possible, so that I'll know if he does dislike my company. And several times, he had shown that I was wrong, that he doesn't dislike me! He finds me instead of me finding him! I even got to know that sometimes when he didn't approach me, it's because he had thought that I was busy doing things! Knowing all these just made me feel so happy... that I'm not being disliked. That at least there's still a speck of hope. Knowing all these now makes me feel so sad... that he's just a friendly creature being nice to me as he always does to everyone else.
My friends suggested that perhaps he's shy, just like me. I had thought of that before too because he does seem like a shy person. But, he had been very enthu with his crush. He did a lot of things.. but me? me? me??? what he had done to me is NOTHING to what he had done to her. So... there is nothing...
nothing...
nothing...
nothing...
nothing...
nothing...
nothing....
Perhaps, I should start convincing myself all over again that he dislikes me.
Goodbye!
And maybe i'll tell him one day that I had once fallen for him.
I'm still sad
Yes, I'm still sad.
Actually, I've been waiting for the chance to see you, to see how you treat me, to see if it really is true... that scene I saw after the fog has cleared, that scene that broke my heart. However, I never got the chance to do it. I did see you, but you didn't see me. That very time you saw me, you didn't even say hi. Fine then.. I guess it's true then.
After some time, some tears finally dropped today.
I had been so dead yesterday, and you're part of the reason why.
You still like her don't you? And you had never liked me at all... I just wanted to hear from you... to know if it's true... to know that it's true, and that's when I'll finally decide to move on.
I have this urge to just tell you that I like you, even though I know there's no hope now. I just want to tell you, as if it'll relieve me from all the pain I'm having now. Maybe I will tell you.. some time... maybe...
Actually, I've been waiting for the chance to see you, to see how you treat me, to see if it really is true... that scene I saw after the fog has cleared, that scene that broke my heart. However, I never got the chance to do it. I did see you, but you didn't see me. That very time you saw me, you didn't even say hi. Fine then.. I guess it's true then.
After some time, some tears finally dropped today.
I had been so dead yesterday, and you're part of the reason why.
You still like her don't you? And you had never liked me at all... I just wanted to hear from you... to know if it's true... to know that it's true, and that's when I'll finally decide to move on.
I have this urge to just tell you that I like you, even though I know there's no hope now. I just want to tell you, as if it'll relieve me from all the pain I'm having now. Maybe I will tell you.. some time... maybe...
Tuesday 10 October 2006
I'm fine, thank you :)
Seriously, I'm better than I would've thought! Hmm.... why's that so? I've no idea too. It's like.. life goes on for me.. Not much changes. It's just that I'm sure I'm not going to have any more expectations.. Hope still remains, somehow.. Oh, well...
I guess I have this idea that I should've known it all along bah, though that piece of news still came as a kind of shock. Eeps.. haha..
Self-proclaimed: NO SCHOOL TODAY!! haha.. coz i woke up late.. had a bad headache last night. sigh... anw, tuesday's a free-period day... 2 and 1/2 hours of free period for me to rot, draw, do homework (*ahem* sometimes), study (*ahem* once more.. xD), think through things, feel sad and lonely, feel excited, sleep, read magazines (i mean TIME, national geographic kinda magazines)... ... ... ... Yep! So, I missed ECONS LECTURE AND TUTORIAL!!! and that's very bad. Sharks...
as for tomorrow, self-proclaim: NO MATH LECTURE!! Haha... that's like a permanent claim. :P Erm... I guess I got addicted to skipping math lectures? Yep.. addicted. Amazing isn't it? So, you better not try it, or you'll end up like me!
I guess I have this idea that I should've known it all along bah, though that piece of news still came as a kind of shock. Eeps.. haha..
Self-proclaimed: NO SCHOOL TODAY!! haha.. coz i woke up late.. had a bad headache last night. sigh... anw, tuesday's a free-period day... 2 and 1/2 hours of free period for me to rot, draw, do homework (*ahem* sometimes), study (*ahem* once more.. xD), think through things, feel sad and lonely, feel excited, sleep, read magazines (i mean TIME, national geographic kinda magazines)... ... ... ... Yep! So, I missed ECONS LECTURE AND TUTORIAL!!! and that's very bad. Sharks...
as for tomorrow, self-proclaim: NO MATH LECTURE!! Haha... that's like a permanent claim. :P Erm... I guess I got addicted to skipping math lectures? Yep.. addicted. Amazing isn't it? So, you better not try it, or you'll end up like me!
Monday 9 October 2006
An end marks a new beginning
I've changed my blogskin again, as you can see. And for that welcome message, I didn't type that... but it just fits in so nicely... So i left it there.
Since the day my heart broke (haha.. so cliche :P), nothing much has happened. Not much changes too.. It's just that sadness had moved in once again, and the tears are reluctant to move away. How I wish I can cry my heart out, but I only managed to drop a couple of tears today. The rest were for watching "Finding Neverland".
Oh, it's a nice movie, do watch it.
Perhaps I'm just deceiving myself, forcing "life goes on" into me. I... still miss him. Though the balloon of hope has deflated, but it's still tied to me... or rather, I'm still holding on to it. Hope's still there, but not the expectations.. So, I guess that's alright, since hope is always around. :)
I've been defeated, and it takes time to heal. Just want to say that I'm alright, it's just that sometimes, I would prefer to be left alone.
Since the day my heart broke (haha.. so cliche :P), nothing much has happened. Not much changes too.. It's just that sadness had moved in once again, and the tears are reluctant to move away. How I wish I can cry my heart out, but I only managed to drop a couple of tears today. The rest were for watching "Finding Neverland".
Oh, it's a nice movie, do watch it.
Perhaps I'm just deceiving myself, forcing "life goes on" into me. I... still miss him. Though the balloon of hope has deflated, but it's still tied to me... or rather, I'm still holding on to it. Hope's still there, but not the expectations.. So, I guess that's alright, since hope is always around. :)
I've been defeated, and it takes time to heal. Just want to say that I'm alright, it's just that sometimes, I would prefer to be left alone.
Sunday 8 October 2006
Recovering
I'm fine, I guess. At least I've managed to gather the shattered pieces... I'll start to glue them back soon, and one day, I'll be good!! :)
Surprisingly, knowing more about the truth makes me cry less. Actually, I don't cry after knowing the truth... hmm... perhaps I've accepted this piece of news. But, I still have to admit that I am sad about it... and I do think a lot about it. I've turned back to drawing to clear my mind and my mood when I'm not studying (or playing :P).
Not crying.. to me, this is a good sign. :)
Somehow, after analysing the situation again in this new perception, I realised that I was really silly... but I somehow think that there's still this little speck of hope. Ha.. Whatever...
Anyway, I just want to say that I'm recovering already... I'm accepting this fact better than I thought. Yup. So... I'm almost fine! :) bye bye
Surprisingly, knowing more about the truth makes me cry less. Actually, I don't cry after knowing the truth... hmm... perhaps I've accepted this piece of news. But, I still have to admit that I am sad about it... and I do think a lot about it. I've turned back to drawing to clear my mind and my mood when I'm not studying (or playing :P).
Not crying.. to me, this is a good sign. :)
Somehow, after analysing the situation again in this new perception, I realised that I was really silly... but I somehow think that there's still this little speck of hope. Ha.. Whatever...
Anyway, I just want to say that I'm recovering already... I'm accepting this fact better than I thought. Yup. So... I'm almost fine! :) bye bye
Saturday 7 October 2006
Curiosity kills the cat
An attempt to unfold some things so as to get to know my current situation better... ... left me heartbroken.
Curiosity kills the cat. That's what I get for my attempt to un-fog the situation a little. I got myself killed.
I've been so silly all this while, thinking that some things seem like hope... I guess the fog's all gone now, revealing the ugly scene that's so painful to look at. The hopes turned out to be "friendship", nothing else. Now it's back to "friendship" being something that sounds so depressing.
All the encouragements I've gotten from my friends, along with my hopes, my expectations, my assumptions, my predictions, my short-lived bliss and my memories, have turned into disappointments. Now you know why I kept telling myself not to be hopeful. I nearly cried, but somehow, the tears went back inside... and somehow, I kinda became numb.
And to think that I had actually dreamt of something good this week... ouch! plaster!! I need plaster!! FIRST AID REQUIRED!! hahaha...
Well, I'll get well... don't worry (that is if you're actually worrying :P) I had been sad that there's so little time left, but now, i'm glad about that! At least there's something for me to feel glad about :) Erm.. if you're still not convinced that I'm quite alright, go ahead and do all sorts of things to cheer me up... like... ... buy me stuff, crack all sorts of jokes, distracting me with all your might, and .... if i happen to seem like I'm about to cry, hand me some napkins (can't promise that i'll take them though :P), stay by my side but don't talk to me... Haha... that is IF i ever seem like I'm gonna cry. Ehh... actually, this thing happening today, it should be quite expected bah..
Curiosity kills the cat. That's what I get for my attempt to un-fog the situation a little. I got myself killed.
I've been so silly all this while, thinking that some things seem like hope... I guess the fog's all gone now, revealing the ugly scene that's so painful to look at. The hopes turned out to be "friendship", nothing else. Now it's back to "friendship" being something that sounds so depressing.
All the encouragements I've gotten from my friends, along with my hopes, my expectations, my assumptions, my predictions, my short-lived bliss and my memories, have turned into disappointments. Now you know why I kept telling myself not to be hopeful. I nearly cried, but somehow, the tears went back inside... and somehow, I kinda became numb.
And to think that I had actually dreamt of something good this week... ouch! plaster!! I need plaster!! FIRST AID REQUIRED!! hahaha...
Well, I'll get well... don't worry (that is if you're actually worrying :P) I had been sad that there's so little time left, but now, i'm glad about that! At least there's something for me to feel glad about :) Erm.. if you're still not convinced that I'm quite alright, go ahead and do all sorts of things to cheer me up... like... ... buy me stuff, crack all sorts of jokes, distracting me with all your might, and .... if i happen to seem like I'm about to cry, hand me some napkins (can't promise that i'll take them though :P), stay by my side but don't talk to me... Haha... that is IF i ever seem like I'm gonna cry. Ehh... actually, this thing happening today, it should be quite expected bah..
Friday 6 October 2006
Clear the fog pls!
I miss you-know-who(or to some of you, you-don't-know-who) quite often these days... And i bet i'm gonna miss him even more soon... Sigh... can everything be less fogged? can it just be clearer? And singapore's reacting to my current state, getting foggy eh.. k lame.
Can you just make everything clearer?
I thought in the good way... and the bad way...
my friends thought in the good way.... and the bad way...
Can you just, show more?! Even if you don't like me, just show more so that I'll know!! It's all so blur now..
Everything's so confusingly confusing that it's confusing my already confused mind! Are you confused too? Haha...
URGHHH...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
You don't know and I can't blame you for that, because... you don't know. Haiz...
Can you just make everything clearer?
I thought in the good way... and the bad way...
my friends thought in the good way.... and the bad way...
Can you just, show more?! Even if you don't like me, just show more so that I'll know!! It's all so blur now..
Everything's so confusingly confusing that it's confusing my already confused mind! Are you confused too? Haha...
URGHHH...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
You don't know and I can't blame you for that, because... you don't know. Haiz...
Wednesday 4 October 2006
Work hard!!!
Miss Lim gave me one mark, coz 44s are pushed up to 45 to pass. Ha.. lucky me. That means I pass everything!! But that's not what i want of course, i mean, I need at least ABC? sigh...
Was supposed to be studying today. But because i forgot to bring formula list, I gotta come home first. And i got stuck to the com. Boo hoo... I shall move over to great world now, for 3 hours, and i'll be back to study. how lame.. perhaps I should stay at home. no no no .. great world.. AHHH!!
Found a new place to study. A very nice place to study :) Clarke Quay's coffe bean where it's nice and cosy with tables that are big enough and most importantly, NO PEOPLE!!! hahaha.. YEAH!
这短暂的幸福，留下的却是永无止境的伤痛。
一切仍模糊不清，一切仍无法断定。
我想，我不该报多大的希望吧。
Was supposed to be studying today. But because i forgot to bring formula list, I gotta come home first. And i got stuck to the com. Boo hoo... I shall move over to great world now, for 3 hours, and i'll be back to study. how lame.. perhaps I should stay at home. no no no .. great world.. AHHH!!
Found a new place to study. A very nice place to study :) Clarke Quay's coffe bean where it's nice and cosy with tables that are big enough and most importantly, NO PEOPLE!!! hahaha.. YEAH!
To all the muggers out there...
GOOD LUCK MUGGING UP!!!
这短暂的幸福，留下的却是永无止境的伤痛。
一切仍模糊不清，一切仍无法断定。
我想，我不该报多大的希望吧。
Monday 2 October 2006
Sunday 1 October 2006
More about me
Wondered why i love doing all those tests, and I guess it's because I find it a way to know how i really think about myself. Why? Because if the test results are different from my opinion, I'll dismiss the results as "not true" and doubt the test's accuracy. Haha... So, that's a way of finding out how I really think. :)
Next, the bigger matter... him
It's just so, like that lorz... Although my friends are hopeful (when my hope's almost gone), nothing much has happened since then!! Sigh... Hope, I just need a little more hope!! Or, I need a lot of hope!!
I guess I miss him. Hmm.. ok. I'm pretty sure I miss him.. This is bad. He's occupying my thoughts!! This is so unfair! How can he claim so much space from my thoughts when i'm insignificant to him?? Sigh... It's back to days of waiting for him to come online, waiting for some signs that might seem like hope, waiting for the chance to see him, and i mean see, only..
I hate it when you don't reply my messages! It just makes me feel so insignificant!
Next, the bigger matter... him
It's just so, like that lorz... Although my friends are hopeful (when my hope's almost gone), nothing much has happened since then!! Sigh... Hope, I just need a little more hope!! Or, I need a lot of hope!!
I guess I miss him. Hmm.. ok. I'm pretty sure I miss him.. This is bad. He's occupying my thoughts!! This is so unfair! How can he claim so much space from my thoughts when i'm insignificant to him?? Sigh... It's back to days of waiting for him to come online, waiting for some signs that might seem like hope, waiting for the chance to see him, and i mean see, only..
I hate it when you don't reply my messages! It just makes me feel so insignificant!
Saturday 30 September 2006
10 things about me
Visited my friend's blog and linked to another website, with tests!! Oh, i just love to do them sometimes.. so fun. haha.. basically this'll be a blog of test results :P
I've decided, to post 10 things about me. :D
I've decided, to post 10 things about me. :D
| You Are 14% Evil |
 You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm. Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want! |
HAHAHA!! Some of you must be pointing your finger at the screen, saying that the system lied about me :p
| You Are a Visual Learner |
 You tend to remember what you see, and you have a good eye for aesthetics. You excel at art, design, and computer programming. You would be an excellent film director - or the next Bill Gates! |
This is quite true. Perhaps that explains why i do better in dance than in school.
| You Should Be A Gemini |
 What's good about you: witty and energetic, you're simply the most fun to be around What's bad about you: you're flighty - losing interest in people and projects quickly In love: you enjoy the "honeymoon phase," but after that it's hard for you to stick around In friendship, you're: likely to have many groups of friends, with many different interests Your ideal job: mime, guru, or cartoonist Your sense of fashion: casual and simple You like to pig out on: fast food, especially burritos |
I'm true to my sign! WOW!
| Your Aura is Green |
 You're very driven, competitive, and even a bit jealous. However, you seek out balance in your life - and you usually achieve it! The purpose of your life: inspiring others to be better Famous greens include: Tony Robbins, Donald Trump, Martha Stewart Careers for you to try: Guru, CEO, Talk Show Host |
Green again! so green recently. And Donald Trump!!! I'm gonna be rich, hahaha..
| Your Power Color Is Lime Green |
 At Your Highest: You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary. At Your Lowest: You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in. In Love: You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated. How You're Attractive: Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room. Your Eternal Question: "What else do I need in my life?" |
Erm.. another green? HAHAHA... guess i'm really green then.
| Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde |
 You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog. You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head. Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent. You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content. |
HAHAHA... that's up to you to judge. But someone had said tt i'm quite weird. :P
| You Are 12 Years Old |
 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
Wow! I'm a kid! So I should be excused if i happen to be childish! Yay!
| You Are An INTP |
The Thinker You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can. Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge. Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat. A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it. You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor. |
Yeah, i'm a thinker. Agree that i'm logical, and i think i lack creativity!! eeks
| Your Element Is Air |
 You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that! |
I'm airy! haha.. kidding.
| You Are 24% Shy |
 You are slightly shy, but overall, your reactions to social situations are normal. You dread difficult social situations, but you still handle them with grace. |
Hmm.. i'm actually quite shy you know.. I'm telling the truth here k.
That's 10 things about me. You must think that i'm really bored.. haha.. but actually i had intended to study at great world if it wasn't for all the tv shows and my mum's pork chops!! Haha...
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