看着窗外那绿油油的草地，突然很想就这么坐在窗前，看着窗外的东西，安安静静的远离种种的束缚，压力。感觉风吹着我的脸庞，很舒服。但不知为何，有股很想哭的感觉。风越是吹着我的脸，眼泪越是止不住。就这样，我再一度莫名其妙的流下了眼泪。
其 实，当时我正在课室里，与几位朋友等着下一堂课的开始。我什么都 不说就突然坐在窗前的举动，令朋友认为我很忧郁。当时听到他们那么将是，还蛮好笑的，但那静静的感觉，让我不想笑。就在我泪眼迎眶的时候，同学叫了我一 声，便走过来把东西交给我。眼泪收不回去呀！只得大方得让他看到我流泪。我面带笑容的指着我的眼睛，叫他看。他却下了一大跳，还往后退了几步。哈哈。。。 男生真得那么怕看到女生的眼泪吗？哈。。。那是女生的武器吧！
tt jason arh.. cannot make it larz. Haha.. after he recovered from tt shock i gave him and put my homework under my file, he sat by the window too and attempted to do the same. After a while, he got up and said tt he's a good actor. Walked around, and told others tt his eyes have tears while the others thought otherwise.. Hahaha.. mine's more power larz.. you cannot make it arh jason.. haha.. dun think he had my blog add, tt's why i can laugh at him all i want here! Hahaha...
Friday 19 August 2005
Wednesday 17 August 2005
Feeling better!! =)
Went to school as usual with something not tt usual though it can be usual at certain times of school life. It was a continued stomachache/gastric/whatever kind of ache larz.. Had it the day before. And before. haha. past 12 am.. so it's another day now! Actually, it's still aching, juz not tt bad. =)Anw, got back my econ essay test on production and cost yesterday. Heard that the highest in arts fac is 21/25. Wow!! *clap clap clap* what's my result? ha.. i'm far from tt 21/25, 10 marks away. But, i'm like still the highest in class? but this time, Ming yuan got e same result as I!! =D =D =D =D =D.. i think both of us muz have crapped a lot in e essay. Haha..
Oops.. I think Miss Lim found out that I don't give e full attention to e lecturer during econs lecture. Heh heh.. She saw my drawings inside e lecture notes.. Oops oops oops.. She even asked me about it.. Haha.. anyway, she thinks that i'm artistically inclined. Hmm.. Many people think that I should have taken art, but i think otherwise. Though I think that art will help me in my drawings, but I don't like to be forced to draw. It'll make me dislike drawing. My results for art in sec sch is not tt great anw, not really up to the standard. That's why i didn't choose to do art.
Miss Lim also asked if i'm interested in the animation and 3-D animation industry since i love to draw. I thought about it, and concluded that it is a possible path for me to take. However, as i flipped through e section of e handbook showing the courses in local Us, I don't see anything to do with animation. Haha.. did see some desinging courses though. Hmm.. perhaps I'll go to e poly after jc.. haha.. waste of time right.. should have gone there in e first place if I really wanna do designing/animation. So now, I can choose dance, business, animation, road sweeper (haha.. back up plan mah.. juz in case I really cannot find a job. XD) as a career. Hmm.. Don't even think I'm up to standard.
Well, gotta do homework -again-. i owe a lot of hw.. eeks~
-watching charlie and the choc factory with kah yin and mag tmr, i mean today-
Monday 15 August 2005
Back to tt moody me
...I'm back to tt moody me...
After such a long time of happy and carefree days, I'm back to that moody me. I'm disliking school life again, finding it stressful and too demanding for me to survive. I don' feel like going to school, don't feel like doing work, don't feel like attending lessons, don't feel like studying. Being back to that moody me also mean that my tears can't wait to be released... go to school, go through lifeless days, walk around unhappily, attend lessons without the proper attitude. Today, I actually had thought, seriously, of going home once the back gate is open, and not attend all the other lessons because I'm just so unhappy. But I also considered how my parents will react if they got to know that I skipped lessons.
Why am I unhappy? What happened? I have no idea. I suppose it's just my regular fluctuations. Nothing new, happens all the time.
This time, it's even worse. I was actually thinking of destroying my own body in order to get myself out of school early and go to some polyclinic to get MC. What did I do? I was very hungry, but I didn't eat. So I had gastric, and was enduring the pain the whole time. During lunchbreak, I just sat in the little house with my classmates (who ate already), twirl my phone round and round, daze, lay my head on the table, continue dazing...
快流出来的眼泪最后却被逼回去了。我也 不知道我为什么会突然很想哭。就连现在，我还是很想哭。我知道我这么做狠傻，为了我自己都不知道的理由哭泣， 甚至搞坏我那已经快彻底的坏掉了的身体。 我想，哪一天我会就这么倒在地上突然死去吧！我这样的生活，会让我成为朋友圈子中，第一个过世的人。那一天到来的时候，希望你们不要太惊讶。不过，会有人 惊讶吗？会有人管我的死活吗？我觉得，我这样的生活，也算是在自杀吧。不过，与普通的自杀方式不同的是，我这是慢性自杀， 并不会立即见效。
无聊的生活。。。 无聊的来了，活了。。。 又无聊的走了。 生活就是这么得无聊。如此无聊的生活，不过也罢。放心，我并不会真的寻死，只不过是突然丧失了生活的原动力罢了。乏味的生活，反复无常的过着同样的日子，每天，每天。。。
我会就这么突然的死去吗？我不知道，你也不知道吧！
我就这样无聊的结束了这一切。。。 多么想真正结束一切的一切。
我又累了，又想休个长假了。又想什么都不想，什么都不管，什么都不做，就懒洋洋的躺在床上。
“别担心，你们就让我平静得走吧。“ 哪天，我若说出了这一句话，就真得让我平静得走吧。那一天，因该不会这么快到来吧。
想哭。 又不想哭。哭了也无济于事，虽然我也不知什么事。
Why am I unhappy? What happened? I have no idea. I suppose it's just my regular fluctuations. Nothing new, happens all the time.
This time, it's even worse. I was actually thinking of destroying my own body in order to get myself out of school early and go to some polyclinic to get MC. What did I do? I was very hungry, but I didn't eat. So I had gastric, and was enduring the pain the whole time. During lunchbreak, I just sat in the little house with my classmates (who ate already), twirl my phone round and round, daze, lay my head on the table, continue dazing...
快流出来的眼泪最后却被逼回去了。我也 不知道我为什么会突然很想哭。就连现在，我还是很想哭。我知道我这么做狠傻，为了我自己都不知道的理由哭泣， 甚至搞坏我那已经快彻底的坏掉了的身体。 我想，哪一天我会就这么倒在地上突然死去吧！我这样的生活，会让我成为朋友圈子中，第一个过世的人。那一天到来的时候，希望你们不要太惊讶。不过，会有人 惊讶吗？会有人管我的死活吗？我觉得，我这样的生活，也算是在自杀吧。不过，与普通的自杀方式不同的是，我这是慢性自杀， 并不会立即见效。
无聊的生活。。。 无聊的来了，活了。。。 又无聊的走了。 生活就是这么得无聊。如此无聊的生活，不过也罢。放心，我并不会真的寻死，只不过是突然丧失了生活的原动力罢了。乏味的生活，反复无常的过着同样的日子，每天，每天。。。
我会就这么突然的死去吗？我不知道，你也不知道吧！
我就这样无聊的结束了这一切。。。 多么想真正结束一切的一切。
我又累了，又想休个长假了。又想什么都不想，什么都不管，什么都不做，就懒洋洋的躺在床上。
“别担心，你们就让我平静得走吧。“ 哪天，我若说出了这一句话，就真得让我平静得走吧。那一天，因该不会这么快到来吧。
想哭。 又不想哭。哭了也无济于事，虽然我也不知什么事。
Wednesday 10 August 2005
seven swords
七剑
徐克作品
yeah.. see him in this pic? he's e one to e right. -^.^-
So.. what's Seven Swords about? Erm.. about the seven different swords lorz.. haha.. it's a movie based on the book 《七剑下天山》 by 梁羽生.
At that time, no one is allowed to learn or practise any form of martial arts as the emperor feared that he would be overthrown. (something like that.. haha) And the emperor has a special group of people, or juz army, that fights all those who learn or practise martial arts. Each head was worth 300 taels of silver. And heads of a highly skilled ones, much much more than that. So that special group of murderers killed A LOT of people, until they got quite worried that there weren't many left for them to kill. They even killed those innocent ones, women, children.
Then this girl called 小武(nickname) from a village called 武桩 (if i remembered correctly. haha), after saving an old man who sort of fought those murderers secretly, was told by him that her village would be attacked very soon and therefore she has to go to 天山 to seek help. She went, along with her childhood playmate 志邦 （陆毅！）. They met another old man, who trained 4 young men to become highly skilled swordsmen. <-- is that what you call them? haha.. nvm. ermm.. ya.. so the 4 young men went down the mountain with the 3, each was given a sword and each sword is different, very different. Those are the seven swords and the people who carried them. =)
Of course, i believe you can predict what happened. They fought those murderers and succeeded in the end，but there are many many exciting parts in between. 你要亲自去看才能感觉到那部电影有多好看！=D
徐克作品
Well, i went to watch seven swords with kah yin today. Frankly speaking, I had wanted to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but kah yin has to watch with Mag, so we watched seven swords instead larz. It was VERY the EXTREMELY cool!! =D except those parts where it's erm.. quite "bloody". To add on, my beloved husband's acting too!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... first time seeing him act in a movie. Actually, it's the first time i see him in something other than 《少年包青天》. Haha.. yeah yeah yeah.. he's none other than my beloved husband, 陆毅!!
yeah.. see him in this pic? he's e one to e right. -^.^-So.. what's Seven Swords about? Erm.. about the seven different swords lorz.. haha.. it's a movie based on the book 《七剑下天山》 by 梁羽生.
At that time, no one is allowed to learn or practise any form of martial arts as the emperor feared that he would be overthrown. (something like that.. haha) And the emperor has a special group of people, or juz army, that fights all those who learn or practise martial arts. Each head was worth 300 taels of silver. And heads of a highly skilled ones, much much more than that. So that special group of murderers killed A LOT of people, until they got quite worried that there weren't many left for them to kill. They even killed those innocent ones, women, children.
Then this girl called 小武(nickname) from a village called 武桩 (if i remembered correctly. haha), after saving an old man who sort of fought those murderers secretly, was told by him that her village would be attacked very soon and therefore she has to go to 天山 to seek help. She went, along with her childhood playmate 志邦 （陆毅！）. They met another old man, who trained 4 young men to become highly skilled swordsmen. <-- is that what you call them? haha.. nvm. ermm.. ya.. so the 4 young men went down the mountain with the 3, each was given a sword and each sword is different, very different. Those are the seven swords and the people who carried them. =)
Of course, i believe you can predict what happened. They fought those murderers and succeeded in the end，but there are many many exciting parts in between. 你要亲自去看才能感觉到那部电影有多好看！=D
hooray for me!!
Finally, i changed my template. Haha.. erm.. actually it didn't have comments larz.. but somehow, i figured out how to put it there. Phew.. lil bro, now i understand how you feel le. haha.. I really very pei fu those who do all these mad stuff. Pro arh.. pro.
Haiz.. supposed to go to GWC with fat pig yesterday. But she messaged me to tell me that she's too lazy to go out le. So we cancelled our trip. So sad.. could have done a lot of work yesterday lorz.. In the end, I just sat in front of e com, looking for blog templates. Didn't do any work, though i had planned to do as much as possible. Then.. disaster!! My ma yelled for us to help clean up. I knew that would happen. Sigh.. So I had no choice but to help her out.
Finally, I'm done with Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince. Whew~ Cried at e last part, when dumbledore died, when harry thought of leaving his friends and leaving hogwarts to find the horcruxes and voldermort. How sad... Weeps.
Bought snowy margarine and cream cheese some time ago. Guess I'll eat a lot of bread! Carbo intake rises when metabollic rate goes down = addition to my fats collection = gain weight. Eeks~ Not good. Not good.
Am a slacker. Slacker, I am. Slacker is me!
Feel like eating pizza, or bread. Haha.. hopefully my pa and ma won't say anything.. hmm.. oh! and tt means I'll gain weight again! sigh.. can't be bothered now. Ha.. wait till i'm a fatty, then you can laugh at me.
To banglah tay, so what if i call you banglah tay? You are banglah tay!! hahaha.. =D
To lil bro, nothing much to say to you, but jia you, jia you, jia you!! oh ya.. and stop tt 74.8 thing le larz.
to pei he this new template, i shall add rainbow!!
Off to prepare supper for myself sneakily.. hahaha..
Haiz.. supposed to go to GWC with fat pig yesterday. But she messaged me to tell me that she's too lazy to go out le. So we cancelled our trip. So sad.. could have done a lot of work yesterday lorz.. In the end, I just sat in front of e com, looking for blog templates. Didn't do any work, though i had planned to do as much as possible. Then.. disaster!! My ma yelled for us to help clean up. I knew that would happen. Sigh.. So I had no choice but to help her out.
Finally, I'm done with Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince. Whew~ Cried at e last part, when dumbledore died, when harry thought of leaving his friends and leaving hogwarts to find the horcruxes and voldermort. How sad... Weeps.
Bought snowy margarine and cream cheese some time ago. Guess I'll eat a lot of bread! Carbo intake rises when metabollic rate goes down = addition to my fats collection = gain weight. Eeks~ Not good. Not good.
Am a slacker. Slacker, I am. Slacker is me!
Feel like eating pizza, or bread. Haha.. hopefully my pa and ma won't say anything.. hmm.. oh! and tt means I'll gain weight again! sigh.. can't be bothered now. Ha.. wait till i'm a fatty, then you can laugh at me.
To banglah tay, so what if i call you banglah tay? You are banglah tay!! hahaha.. =D
To lil bro, nothing much to say to you, but jia you, jia you, jia you!! oh ya.. and stop tt 74.8 thing le larz.
to pei he this new template, i shall add rainbow!!
Off to prepare supper for myself sneakily.. hahaha..
Tuesday 2 August 2005
camping =(
got back my most recent math test (trigo). That day after e test, my frenz and i were making predictions of our results. I was right. I thought tt if i didn't get my concepts wrong, i might get full marks. I got close to that in reality, 19/20. =) That's enough already. =) =) =) I'm moving a step closer to my proposal!! =D
Juz in case you dunno about my plan abt e proposal, let me juz tell you abt my plan:
Some Background Information
As they changed our young math tutor to 2 boring teachers. Old, monotonous, weird, not fun at all. I start to really dislike math tutorials. Had been motivated to get an A for math 9233 aft my summer test, which i got a D grade when I had expected an F (I didn't study for e test, so didn't expect much). That's how I was motivated to get an A, coz i sort of know that if i work harder, i'll get an A. =) Unfortunately, they changed my math teacher. =( Now i don't like to attend math tutorials and i won't be able to pay attention and enjoy math, which is bad. =( However, I found a new motivation to get an A grade for math. =D
New motivation
As i grew to dislike attending math tutorials, i thought of ways to not attend it, or ways to attend it but do my own stuff. And here comes my plan for a proposal. =) My idea is that I'll achieve an A for my next math test (which has gone by already with A grade) and sustain that A for a time long enough for the teachers to believe in me, to have faith in me and be quite sure that I don't have much problems for math 9233. Why so? Because, I actually thought of coming up with this proposal to request for permission to not attend math tutorials as i find them quite useless for me since i can't pay attention (or juz because i find tt e teachers cannot teach?). If not, I might suggest that I attend math tutorials with my friends, but i do my own math works. =)
Yeah.. that is my plan. But i doubt that i will really carry it out, especially when J2 is coming nearer and nearer (that is if i managed to go to J2 larz. haha). It's just a daydream to make me feel better about attending e boring math tutorials.
Have to go to camp tmr le.. I don't want!! I don't like camps, coz i won't get enough sleep one!! I want to sleep! Another reason why i don't want to go, I'm afraid of heights and they are so going to make us go through all those obstacle courses which i think is quite pointless. Something like OBS mobile is much better lorz. =( And none of my frenz pushed me down e steps today, so i have no choice but to go for the camp tmr. =( =( =( I'll cry my whiskers out while climbing up e high steps to somewhere so high that I wish to die than to stand there. Sigh.. can someone replace me for those obstacle courses? Please.. please.. please.. sigh...
Juz in case you dunno about my plan abt e proposal, let me juz tell you abt my plan:
Some Background Information
As they changed our young math tutor to 2 boring teachers. Old, monotonous, weird, not fun at all. I start to really dislike math tutorials. Had been motivated to get an A for math 9233 aft my summer test, which i got a D grade when I had expected an F (I didn't study for e test, so didn't expect much). That's how I was motivated to get an A, coz i sort of know that if i work harder, i'll get an A. =) Unfortunately, they changed my math teacher. =( Now i don't like to attend math tutorials and i won't be able to pay attention and enjoy math, which is bad. =( However, I found a new motivation to get an A grade for math. =D
New motivation
As i grew to dislike attending math tutorials, i thought of ways to not attend it, or ways to attend it but do my own stuff. And here comes my plan for a proposal. =) My idea is that I'll achieve an A for my next math test (which has gone by already with A grade) and sustain that A for a time long enough for the teachers to believe in me, to have faith in me and be quite sure that I don't have much problems for math 9233. Why so? Because, I actually thought of coming up with this proposal to request for permission to not attend math tutorials as i find them quite useless for me since i can't pay attention (or juz because i find tt e teachers cannot teach?). If not, I might suggest that I attend math tutorials with my friends, but i do my own math works. =)
Yeah.. that is my plan. But i doubt that i will really carry it out, especially when J2 is coming nearer and nearer (that is if i managed to go to J2 larz. haha). It's just a daydream to make me feel better about attending e boring math tutorials.
Have to go to camp tmr le.. I don't want!! I don't like camps, coz i won't get enough sleep one!! I want to sleep! Another reason why i don't want to go, I'm afraid of heights and they are so going to make us go through all those obstacle courses which i think is quite pointless. Something like OBS mobile is much better lorz. =( And none of my frenz pushed me down e steps today, so i have no choice but to go for the camp tmr. =( =( =( I'll cry my whiskers out while climbing up e high steps to somewhere so high that I wish to die than to stand there. Sigh.. can someone replace me for those obstacle courses? Please.. please.. please.. sigh...
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