The famous boot licker - Combalala

once upon a time, there was a guy called Combalala. Combalala is not poor, he has sufficient money to buy himself nike, puma, adidas, converse, billabong... ... and the list goes on.. just stuff that are expensive, but not to the extent of chanel and prada. Thought Combalala is quite well-off, he is certainly not satisfied. So he got himself a job...

Combalala chose to shine others' boots for a "living". He researched on them many ways of shining boots, and he came to a conclusion:

The best way to earn his billabong is to lick others' boots. It doesn't matter whether licking is the best way to shine the boots. As long as you lick their boots, they'll be happy to help you with your billabong and nike. =)

So.. Combalala became a famous bootlicker. Sometimes, he licked e wrong boots, awww.. too bad. However, he will always turn back when he realise that. Some other times, he was a little late to lick the boots, that the people will no longer be happy to help him with his billabong.

As Combalala became more and more famous, he attracted more and more people to him. Of course, not the people with boots. The people with boots for him to lick don't usually find him, because he will always find them =D. He attracted a lot of people whom ended up beating him to dust.

So, Comabalala died as he became specks of dust.

-The end-

This is literature with horrible language. =) Some of you will be talented enough to understand, but i doubt there are many of you who can do so =). For those who do not understand, it's ok. It's better that you dun understand. Don't want to pollute your innocent minds (if you do have an innocent mind, that is xD)

Shall I dance?

I've been thinking about this question for a very long time... ...

Should I quit dance?

By this, of course I don't mean to stop dancing, but to withdraw from the college's dance club. I mean, what's the point when I don't enjoy myself there? It's very hard to dance well when you don't enjoy what you're dancing. Of course, I know that it is being professional to love all dances, but I just can't love dancing there as I had in crescent, or in my other affiliations. I had been telling many of my friends that the dance we have in the college is way different from what I expect. I was expecting modern contemporary or purely hip hop, but currently, we seem to be dancing what I refer to as "pop". Perhaps I'm too used to dancing modern contemporary, that's why it's hard for me to be passionate about "pop". Well, to put it simply, I'm not a professional. Either I'm not YET a pro, or I'm NEVER a pro.

Today, I was actually expected to help out in the banner-painting thing. The only thing that was pushing me to help out is that conscience, and the guilt that is plaguing me. I feel guilty because I'm so totally not committed. Very VERY unlike my dance life in crescent, when I object to anyone skipping dance lessons - well, perhaps except the thursday sessions *wink* - and will get angry with my friends if they do so. I had not been participating enough, and I felt like repaying by painting the banner. However, I decided not to go. AND, i've also decided to find Mr. Eric Wong to consult him (well, actually I just want to tell him that I want to quit dance, and try my luck asking if my outside dance affiliations can be considered as CCA). I've decided to quit dance.

Like I've mentioned, I don't really enjoy myself when I dance there. Perhaps it's due to the fact that I don't really know anyone there. I don't know why, but after coming here, my passion for performances diminished significantly. I used to love performing, love dancing on the stage and all. But now, I don't feel like dancing in this college at all, and I mean AT ALL! Maybe I've lost my passion for dance, I mean, I'm losing the passion gradually.

Wish me luck in my attempt to quit dance and not join any CCA in college =)

If's so unfair!!

what's so unfair?!

My parents just returned from taiwan and i just got to know from my mum that i'm supposed to change my name from si min to SHI min....... nooooooooooo!!!!!!! i love my si!! i dun wanna change!!

according to my mum, a "da shi" asked her to change my name. He said that my current name will make me fall ill easily and that the new name will ensure a luxurious life. Okay, for now, i will say this, WHAT CRAP?! I was quite angry, and very sad. i wanted to ask my mum, "you actually believe in that?!" ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhalskdjf laksjdflka jdlkfjasldkfj al;ksdjflkadsjflk alsdkj fal;skdjf lakjsdf lkajsdlkf jalksdjf lkasjdflk ajsdfj lkasdjfl...

i'm not happy now!!!!!!!!! not happy!!!!!!!! not happy at all!!!!!!!

it's so unfair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UNFAIR!!!!!!

i know that she did this for my well-being, hoping that i'll have a better life. But, it's just not that easy to accept!!!!! nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! And the thing is that, it's even harder to accept when i dun really believe in such stuff!! Why can't they wait for me to be convinced, then change it? it's unfair! unfair! unfair! UNFAIR!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm angry!!!!!!! ANGRY!!! NOT HAPPY AT ALL!!!

IT'S JUST SOOOOOOOO UNFAIR!!!

!#$*(#!&$*!#(&$(*!#&*$)!(#*$!#@^&*@$&*@#!

::sometimes, all it takes is to believe::

Indeed, sometimes, you just have to believe. Believe in yourself, believe in your friends, believe in what you do, believe in your beliefs... ...

Had been doing some thinking yesterday - i do that sometimes, especially when i'm alone and everything's quiet - and i thought that at times, I believe in myself so much that I'm overconfident. I've been convincing myself that I am smart, and I learn fast. This resulted in failures along with my inbornt slacker attitude. I believe that I learn fast, so I had always been reluctant to study. I thought that I was smart, so I spend less time studying than my friends. Of course, my results were quite bad.

I remember days in crescent, when many of my friends were so fed up with my slacker attitude. They're always asking my to study, but oh, well.. yeah. haha.. i'm just like that. I recall my partner commenting, "I find it very unfair. I study so hard and I got B3, you don't study but only read through the morning we have our test, and you got B4!!" or something like that. Well, it was just that she was complaining how unfair it was that I don't study but I still can pass. And one of my other friend, Nadia, >.<" she wrote in my autograph book, "I bet you are also very smart. If you take the trouble to dust your books and creak them open, I'm very sure you can get 9 points and below." Haha.. well, I think everyone who does that can get that kind of results. *chuckles* But sometimes, I realise that I'm not that smart anyway. If I am smart, then i would've gotten 9 points and below without even dusting my books and creak them open! Haha.. Her way of expressing is interesting. She reads a lot. =) Now that I've come to the autograph book, let's take a look at what my friends had said. Well, I shall type some of them. Haha.. my seniors' autographs are hilarious.. Never fail to make me laugh. XD wahaha.. "You know... when you 1st join dance, ni3 shi4 you4 hei1 you4 bu4 smile.. kan4 le wo3 pa4 pa4... :S BUT! after 3 yrs, ni3 hai2 shi4 yi1 yang4 hei1 (and even hei1-er) but you cheer up ALOT... :) and smile ALOT now... ..."

Chia Shi Hui (aka pig-chia XD)
[senior: dance chair]

"love your incredibly black n long n straight n silky hair... yea, i very jealous, cos my long hair looked like helmet instead... (haha, dun laugh)... ...."

Xiao Yun (always being called Cai Yun by miss lee. Haha.. )
[senior: forgot her post le *oops*]

"i notice we everytime also pair up together one. maybe cos we so tall. hee..."

Lilynne (actually, she's not that tall also larz.. hahaha.. oops.. hahaha)
[senior: DM]

"you are one of the coolest dancer i know... ... ...thanks for all the little things, like getting the grp 2 concentrate during projects..."

Camellia
[classmate]

"just want to let you noe that you are e most xiong1 woman I've ever known and also e person who loves drawing. ... ... also noe you as a notti person who wants to blackmail..."

Huilin aka da jie
[classmate]

"Initially, when i first met you, i was scared witless by your frightening, intense stare *grin* though now i am more impressed than afraid"

Nadia
[classmate]

"You're a really nice person who's very sweet, but I still remember the time you tried 2 blackmail me... "

Farah
[classmate]

"will always remember you as crez's dancer. Never knew you could be so fierce, but really, i truly admire your dedication and determination when it comes to dancing."

Sofia
[classmate: e only councillour in our class XD]

"well, first impression of u was dat u abit DAO(hee) coz u seldom smile... but later realised u are actually veri frenly & nice :) & of coz a wonderful dancer!"

Geline (we used to joke abt combing leg hair >.<)
[classmate]

"she's a bit violent tho, she inflicts whacks and pokes on me!"

ginny
[dancemate: dance chair]

Well, hahaha.. basically it's like that. Till now, I still hear many people saying that their first impression of me was dao, fierce (well i am fierce! XD dao, depends .. hmm) etc etc.. hahaha.. of course i'm naughty and playful. Reading their writings, i recalled all the things that had happened. I enjoyed myself blackmailing farah and huilin. hahaha.. so fun, so fun.. XD Hmm.. I remember soy hoon (xiao yun).. some memories. Before an incident that occured, I had always thought that she's biased against me. But there was this time, I got so stressed up with SYF that I had an emotional breakdown. I felt that a few juniors are not trying hard enough. So i shouted so loudly when dancing. Finally, I couldn't stand it and i ran out of the dance studio, sat on the step and started crying like mad. It was soy hoon who came out, she actually sat down beside me and consoled me, asking why am i crying and so on. My impression of her changed a lot, after that incident. She said that i'm one of those juniors who will always have a place in her heart, and I believe that she's a senior who'll always be remembered too! Of course, other seniors did manage to find a place in my heart too. They're just so mad that you can't forget them. Haha..

2nd Day - Fishball, Curry Puff, Sushi

Fishball, curry puff, and sushi. My dinner for today. Not bad right.. haha.. i juz feel like eating sushi, but it's not filling, so i bought e other 2. =) Survived a day on my own, this is the second day >.<

Went for the advance placement seminar just now. Got to know that we'll be able to choose one module to learn, being treated like an undergrad. Hmm.. and i realised how we were chosen, selected, short-listed - whatever - I found out that we are actually the top 30 percent of our cohort. That's like WoW!! haha.. but take a look at my grades. Just in case you don't remember, it's A, B, AO, and C6. With this kind of results, i can actually be the top 30% of my school.. Hmm.. This is way different from my secondary school like. Not trying to be proud whatsoever, because there's nothing to be proud of. Being in crescent, my kind of results is the last 30% of my school, which explains why I'm not in SAJC, NYJC, or even NJC. Well, it reflects quite badly on Innova too. What can i say? Sigh... It's so pathetic.

So i was selected yadda yadda.. .. and i chose financial accountancy. I find it quite stupid that we have to submit the form today if we want to choose and accountancy module. I need time to consider, you know. Anw, now that I've reached home, and have time to think through. I actually think that I might want to reject this course. Why? You might ask. It's just SO NOT ME to take extra lessons. Perhaps it can be the turning point, but, I doubt I'll put in enough effort and work hard. I'll just continue slacking as usual. I prefer a quiet and slow-paced holidays. Here comes my other side of thinking, "but it's a really good chance!! What if I got rejected my NTU ADM? This can act as a back-up plan!!" Sigh.. i'm just like that.. I can never make decisions, NEVER.

What's more. We have to go through interviews to get into this programme. And out of so many people, only 45 are picked for each course. Hmm.. I'm competing with people from JCs all over Singapore, including RJC, ACJC, yadda yadda... It's so eeeeeeks~ >.<

I really don't know what to do. I just need time to sort things out. I need time to talk to myself, and ask if I am willing to put in extra effort next year. I'm so troubled, again!! XD Well, the best way to stop this troubling, reject the course. =) But it's such a good chance!! ._o here goes again.. sigh..

7 days - day 1

Living on my own for 7 days (Day 1)

I'll be living on my own for 7 days, as i've mentioned up there. Well, my parents went to taiwan from today till the 9th. My only problem with them leaving, no one to call me up in the morning, and my OP date is on the 7th. >.< I hope that i'll wake up early enough not to be late. Eeks~

My brother's back.. that's weird.. This whole week, he had been coming back a day, going back the next day.. then after a day, he came back again, and next day he has to return.. XD now he's back again, but he'll be going back to camp on saturday.. This means that i can't use the com =( So sad...

Today's the first day, and i had been able to wake up early enough to attend dance at 10 =) *applaud* There will be school tmr.. eeks eeks eeks.. sigh.. days when i can stay at home and use e com, my bro's back.. so sad.. i shall go play now, before he can use it >=D