The famous boot licker - Combalala

once upon a time, there was a guy called Combalala. Combalala is not poor, he has sufficient money to buy himself nike, puma, adidas, converse, billabong... ... and the list goes on.. just stuff that are expensive, but not to the extent of chanel and prada. Thought Combalala is quite well-off, he is certainly not satisfied. So he got himself a job...

Combalala chose to shine others' boots for a "living". He researched on them many ways of shining boots, and he came to a conclusion:

The best way to earn his billabong is to lick others' boots. It doesn't matter whether licking is the best way to shine the boots. As long as you lick their boots, they'll be happy to help you with your billabong and nike. =)

So.. Combalala became a famous bootlicker. Sometimes, he licked e wrong boots, awww.. too bad. However, he will always turn back when he realise that. Some other times, he was a little late to lick the boots, that the people will no longer be happy to help him with his billabong.

As Combalala became more and more famous, he attracted more and more people to him. Of course, not the people with boots. The people with boots for him to lick don't usually find him, because he will always find them =D. He attracted a lot of people whom ended up beating him to dust.

So, Comabalala died as he became specks of dust.

-The end-

This is literature with horrible language. =) Some of you will be talented enough to understand, but i doubt there are many of you who can do so =). For those who do not understand, it's ok. It's better that you dun understand. Don't want to pollute your innocent minds (if you do have an innocent mind, that is xD)

Shall I dance?

I've been thinking about this question for a very long time... ...

Should I quit dance?

By this, of course I don't mean to stop dancing, but to withdraw from the college's dance club. I mean, what's the point when I don't enjoy myself there? It's very hard to dance well when you don't enjoy what you're dancing. Of course, I know that it is being professional to love all dances, but I just can't love dancing there as I had in crescent, or in my other affiliations. I had been telling many of my friends that the dance we have in the college is way different from what I expect. I was expecting modern contemporary or purely hip hop, but currently, we seem to be dancing what I refer to as "pop". Perhaps I'm too used to dancing modern contemporary, that's why it's hard for me to be passionate about "pop". Well, to put it simply, I'm not a professional. Either I'm not YET a pro, or I'm NEVER a pro.

Today, I was actually expected to help out in the banner-painting thing. The only thing that was pushing me to help out is that conscience, and the guilt that is plaguing me. I feel guilty because I'm so totally not committed. Very VERY unlike my dance life in crescent, when I object to anyone skipping dance lessons - well, perhaps except the thursday sessions *wink* - and will get angry with my friends if they do so. I had not been participating enough, and I felt like repaying by painting the banner. However, I decided not to go. AND, i've also decided to find Mr. Eric Wong to consult him (well, actually I just want to tell him that I want to quit dance, and try my luck asking if my outside dance affiliations can be considered as CCA). I've decided to quit dance.

Like I've mentioned, I don't really enjoy myself when I dance there. Perhaps it's due to the fact that I don't really know anyone there. I don't know why, but after coming here, my passion for performances diminished significantly. I used to love performing, love dancing on the stage and all. But now, I don't feel like dancing in this college at all, and I mean AT ALL! Maybe I've lost my passion for dance, I mean, I'm losing the passion gradually.

Wish me luck in my attempt to quit dance and not join any CCA in college =)

If's so unfair!!

what's so unfair?!

My parents just returned from taiwan and i just got to know from my mum that i'm supposed to change my name from si min to SHI min....... nooooooooooo!!!!!!! i love my si!! i dun wanna change!!

according to my mum, a "da shi" asked her to change my name. He said that my current name will make me fall ill easily and that the new name will ensure a luxurious life. Okay, for now, i will say this, WHAT CRAP?! I was quite angry, and very sad. i wanted to ask my mum, "you actually believe in that?!" ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhalskdjf laksjdflka jdlkfjasldkfj al;ksdjflkadsjflk alsdkj fal;skdjf lakjsdf lkajsdlkf jalksdjf lkasjdflk ajsdfj lkasdjfl...

i'm not happy now!!!!!!!!! not happy!!!!!!!! not happy at all!!!!!!!

it's so unfair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UNFAIR!!!!!!

i know that she did this for my well-being, hoping that i'll have a better life. But, it's just not that easy to accept!!!!! nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! And the thing is that, it's even harder to accept when i dun really believe in such stuff!! Why can't they wait for me to be convinced, then change it? it's unfair! unfair! unfair! UNFAIR!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm angry!!!!!!! ANGRY!!! NOT HAPPY AT ALL!!!

IT'S JUST SOOOOOOOO UNFAIR!!!

!#$*(#!&$*!#(&$(*!#&*$)!(#*$!#@^&*@$&*@#!

::sometimes, all it takes is to believe::

Indeed, sometimes, you just have to believe. Believe in yourself, believe in your friends, believe in what you do, believe in your beliefs... ...

Had been doing some thinking yesterday - i do that sometimes, especially when i'm alone and everything's quiet - and i thought that at times, I believe in myself so much that I'm overconfident. I've been convincing myself that I am smart, and I learn fast. This resulted in failures along with my inbornt slacker attitude. I believe that I learn fast, so I had always been reluctant to study. I thought that I was smart, so I spend less time studying than my friends. Of course, my results were quite bad.

I remember days in crescent, when many of my friends were so fed up with my slacker attitude. They're always asking my to study, but oh, well.. yeah. haha.. i'm just like that. I recall my partner commenting, "I find it very unfair. I study so hard and I got B3, you don't study but only read through the morning we have our test, and you got B4!!" or something like that. Well, it was just that she was complaining how unfair it was that I don't study but I still can pass. And one of my other friend, Nadia, >.<" she wrote in my autograph book, "I bet you are also very smart. If you take the trouble to dust your books and creak them open, I'm very sure you can get 9 points and below." Haha.. well, I think everyone who does that can get that kind of results. *chuckles* But sometimes, I realise that I'm not that smart anyway. If I am smart, then i would've gotten 9 points and below without even dusting my books and creak them open! Haha.. Her way of expressing is interesting. She reads a lot. =) Now that I've come to the autograph book, let's take a look at what my friends had said. Well, I shall type some of them. Haha.. my seniors' autographs are hilarious.. Never fail to make me laugh. XD wahaha.. "You know... when you 1st join dance, ni3 shi4 you4 hei1 you4 bu4 smile.. kan4 le wo3 pa4 pa4... :S BUT! after 3 yrs, ni3 hai2 shi4 yi1 yang4 hei1 (and even hei1-er) but you cheer up ALOT... :) and smile ALOT now... ..."

Chia Shi Hui (aka pig-chia XD)
[senior: dance chair]

"love your incredibly black n long n straight n silky hair... yea, i very jealous, cos my long hair looked like helmet instead... (haha, dun laugh)... ...."

Xiao Yun (always being called Cai Yun by miss lee. Haha.. )
[senior: forgot her post le *oops*]

"i notice we everytime also pair up together one. maybe cos we so tall. hee..."

Lilynne (actually, she's not that tall also larz.. hahaha.. oops.. hahaha)
[senior: DM]

"you are one of the coolest dancer i know... ... ...thanks for all the little things, like getting the grp 2 concentrate during projects..."

Camellia
[classmate]

"just want to let you noe that you are e most xiong1 woman I've ever known and also e person who loves drawing. ... ... also noe you as a notti person who wants to blackmail..."

Huilin aka da jie
[classmate]

"Initially, when i first met you, i was scared witless by your frightening, intense stare *grin* though now i am more impressed than afraid"

Nadia
[classmate]

"You're a really nice person who's very sweet, but I still remember the time you tried 2 blackmail me... "

Farah
[classmate]

"will always remember you as crez's dancer. Never knew you could be so fierce, but really, i truly admire your dedication and determination when it comes to dancing."

Sofia
[classmate: e only councillour in our class XD]

"well, first impression of u was dat u abit DAO(hee) coz u seldom smile... but later realised u are actually veri frenly & nice :) & of coz a wonderful dancer!"

Geline (we used to joke abt combing leg hair >.<)
[classmate]

"she's a bit violent tho, she inflicts whacks and pokes on me!"

ginny
[dancemate: dance chair]

Well, hahaha.. basically it's like that. Till now, I still hear many people saying that their first impression of me was dao, fierce (well i am fierce! XD dao, depends .. hmm) etc etc.. hahaha.. of course i'm naughty and playful. Reading their writings, i recalled all the things that had happened. I enjoyed myself blackmailing farah and huilin. hahaha.. so fun, so fun.. XD Hmm.. I remember soy hoon (xiao yun).. some memories. Before an incident that occured, I had always thought that she's biased against me. But there was this time, I got so stressed up with SYF that I had an emotional breakdown. I felt that a few juniors are not trying hard enough. So i shouted so loudly when dancing. Finally, I couldn't stand it and i ran out of the dance studio, sat on the step and started crying like mad. It was soy hoon who came out, she actually sat down beside me and consoled me, asking why am i crying and so on. My impression of her changed a lot, after that incident. She said that i'm one of those juniors who will always have a place in her heart, and I believe that she's a senior who'll always be remembered too! Of course, other seniors did manage to find a place in my heart too. They're just so mad that you can't forget them. Haha..

2nd Day - Fishball, Curry Puff, Sushi

Fishball, curry puff, and sushi. My dinner for today. Not bad right.. haha.. i juz feel like eating sushi, but it's not filling, so i bought e other 2. =) Survived a day on my own, this is the second day >.<

Went for the advance placement seminar just now. Got to know that we'll be able to choose one module to learn, being treated like an undergrad. Hmm.. and i realised how we were chosen, selected, short-listed - whatever - I found out that we are actually the top 30 percent of our cohort. That's like WoW!! haha.. but take a look at my grades. Just in case you don't remember, it's A, B, AO, and C6. With this kind of results, i can actually be the top 30% of my school.. Hmm.. This is way different from my secondary school like. Not trying to be proud whatsoever, because there's nothing to be proud of. Being in crescent, my kind of results is the last 30% of my school, which explains why I'm not in SAJC, NYJC, or even NJC. Well, it reflects quite badly on Innova too. What can i say? Sigh... It's so pathetic.

So i was selected yadda yadda.. .. and i chose financial accountancy. I find it quite stupid that we have to submit the form today if we want to choose and accountancy module. I need time to consider, you know. Anw, now that I've reached home, and have time to think through. I actually think that I might want to reject this course. Why? You might ask. It's just SO NOT ME to take extra lessons. Perhaps it can be the turning point, but, I doubt I'll put in enough effort and work hard. I'll just continue slacking as usual. I prefer a quiet and slow-paced holidays. Here comes my other side of thinking, "but it's a really good chance!! What if I got rejected my NTU ADM? This can act as a back-up plan!!" Sigh.. i'm just like that.. I can never make decisions, NEVER.

What's more. We have to go through interviews to get into this programme. And out of so many people, only 45 are picked for each course. Hmm.. I'm competing with people from JCs all over Singapore, including RJC, ACJC, yadda yadda... It's so eeeeeeks~ >.<

I really don't know what to do. I just need time to sort things out. I need time to talk to myself, and ask if I am willing to put in extra effort next year. I'm so troubled, again!! XD Well, the best way to stop this troubling, reject the course. =) But it's such a good chance!! ._o here goes again.. sigh..

7 days - day 1

Living on my own for 7 days (Day 1)

I'll be living on my own for 7 days, as i've mentioned up there. Well, my parents went to taiwan from today till the 9th. My only problem with them leaving, no one to call me up in the morning, and my OP date is on the 7th. >.< I hope that i'll wake up early enough not to be late. Eeks~

My brother's back.. that's weird.. This whole week, he had been coming back a day, going back the next day.. then after a day, he came back again, and next day he has to return.. XD now he's back again, but he'll be going back to camp on saturday.. This means that i can't use the com =( So sad...

Today's the first day, and i had been able to wake up early enough to attend dance at 10 =) *applaud* There will be school tmr.. eeks eeks eeks.. sigh.. days when i can stay at home and use e com, my bro's back.. so sad.. i shall go play now, before he can use it >=D

there goes my charger

my handphone charger's dead. After getting drenched on 27 October, it suffered from high fever. Eventually, it died. *mourn* RIP, charger.. *mourn*

Due to the death of my handphone charger, my handphone will be switched off for quite a long time, mourning the death of its best friend. Till the next best friend is found, my phone would most probably be mourning all the time. So, please don't blame me for anything if I am unable to reply your message, receive your call etc. I apologise.

Enough of this mourning thing.

Got informed today by my CT that i'm actually shortlisted for the SMU advance placement programme. Basically, if i participate in this programme, I will be reading modules taught by SMU's top professors. And would then be able to use these modules as exemptions into SMU Business Courses.

What can I say.. I believe we are chosen by our CTs, or by our econs tutor. Well, for my case, they are the same. Hmm... I really wonder what makes my CT think that I'm so good. If it's during summer test, okay.. but this time, this promos, i failed econs!! didn't even get a 15/20 for MCQ.. sad case. Anyway, the seminar is about 3 hours after the school ends on 4 Nov, which means that I have to wait for 3 hours just to attend that seminar. Hmm.. that really makes me consider if I want to join or not. XD Well, basically I'm just worried that if i join this programme, I won't be able to cope with everything, UNLESS i buck up.. work harder.. but. but... but... i'm a lazy bum =( it's very hard to ask me to work, you know.. That's why, I'm wondering if i should participate or not.

While making the decision, of course, I think of many many things. The first thing that came into my mind was that i want to get into NTU's ADM course. So what's the use of this programme? However, i'm worried that I might not qualify for my dream course. So i'm thinking of joining this programme, then at least i'll have somewhere to go. But, like i've mentioned earlier, i'm worried that I won't be working harder, which means that i won't be able to cope at all. Sigh... But i still don't understand why she thinks that I'm smart.. she actually told my dad that i'm hardworking.. that's something that will drop my fellow crescentians' jaws. XD This shows that she doesn't know me well? haha.. i'm a sloth... SLOTH!!

fatigue ==> slack

Well, basically i slept till abt 1.30 pm today. And it's not because i slept late last night.. It's one of the days that i slept very early. I think i slept at about 10.30 pm? haha.. actually, erm.. quite dirty larz.. but erm.. haha.. i went home, talked to my dad a while, then slept on the floor. For how long, i'm not sure. But i remember my dad calling me up, asking me to sleep in my room, which i did. I was still wearing my stinky PE T-shirt.. eeks..

While blog-hopping today, I realised that quite some of them actually blogged on friday.. yesterday.. Hmm.. i didn't even touch the com yesterday. Was really really tired. Actually, i'm quite surprised that i can actually move today. I thought that i'll be totally immobile. XD Come, let me tell you what had happened... ... (it's quite boring actually =P)

Now, now.. let's see.. Wed and Thurs trained for e Sports events that took place yesterday. Actually, after Wed, My muscles had been hurting. So after thurs's training, I was very worried that I would be unable to run on friday. Well, but i ran. I slowed down for 4 by 100, when i was reaching pei han, but others were still quite fine, I think.. =X

K.. erm.. first ever time i ran so much? Haha.. last time, the most i ran was 100 m and 4x100 m. And at least these 2 events have a longer time in between for me to rest. Yesterday, I had to run 100 m, 4x100 m, and 10x50 m. Hmm.. actually e last event like never run leh.. coz I took quite a number of steps ahead, for fairness.. so I juz ran a few steps before passing the baton. =P Oh ya.. this is e first ever time that i had actually made it to the finals for 100 m. Hmm.. This shows that our college is quite pathetic? Eeks! Sorry.. didn't mean to. Or perhaps because last time we had more girls, more pros? Hmm.. Whatever. <-- XD fred muz be totally "you did tt on purpose!!" Come to that, I think you're the only one i know how to attack with words. XD whatever. whatever. whatever. whatever. you pissed off? =P Ha... oh.. but you know how to attack me too.. Hmm.. dangerous, dangerous. Oh ya.. you still say what.. wanna suck my literally bloody finger is it? XD haha... i dun wanna get your madness virus k. Later i die of madness arh.. hahaha.. k not funny -.- Yesterday was totally madness. The sports day, that is. Hmm.. we had 3 events yesterday.. and i ran for all 3. =X wonder what will happen if i join the cheerleading. I'll die of fatigue. Well, but i'll never join cheerleading, so it's fine. XD Guess you'll say running for 3 events shouldn't make me so tired right. Well, it'll be very tiring if you have muscle aches and you run for all 3 events. Not to forget, after Sports Day, I actually went for dance lessons at 8 pm.. haha. madness.. but i made the right choice, because i couldn't wake up today. Hur hur.. =P Oh oh oh .. what was so tiring about the sports day, is the fact that I juz sat down to drink and rest for a while, I heard "4 by 100 m, runners please report to Mr. XX and miss XX..." was totally sighing.. Haiz.. And come to think I was actually only supposed to run for 4 by 100 and 100 m. Coz of someone *ahem ahem* by the name of jo, kana fever.. Hmph! Not forgetting, I joined 3 events and i got nothing at all. Haha.. but it's expected larz.. Oh.. if someone had joined arh.. maybe we could have won something larz.. but *ahem ahem* stupid yuan yuan!! dun wanna join!! hmph! nx year I'll sign you up for everything i tell ya!! HMPH!!

basically, my day comprised of naruto and gunbound. Fred's not online to chat =( Well, it's a bit Haha.. to hear, but I enjoy chatting with you fred!! XD juz juz juz.. it's alright.. not all the time though. You can be irritating at times too.. so can i .. XD meanies rule!!!!!

18 0ct

Today's not my day.. but it's ok =)

Don't worry, not talking about my results.. haha.. e "not my day" is not abt bad results larz.. but i doubt it'll be any better. If i'm not lazy, i'll talk abt it tmr =). Erm.. what happened?

Went to TCC today to play badminton with kah yin, wai sze, and athena. Was wearing my new size 10 slippers (haha.. so big right..), and was walking to somerset station's bus stop. Was lucky! I just reached and the 190 bus was about to leave, but e bus driver saw me... so I got to take e bus. On e bus, aft i tapped my ez link card, i wanted to walk already, and my foot slipped off my slipper. Haha.. so malu. so i juz casually wear it back and walked. Well, I don't know why. Nowadays, if this kind of level of paiseh things happen, i won't really panick. I'll just do what I have to do, though i feel a little embarrassed, but it's quite fine. Guessed too many maluating things happened le.. hahaha..

second bad thing tt happened.. I reached TCC, went to e badminton court. After playing for a while, i choked on my on saliva, haha.. and started coughing.. coughed for a while, put down e racket, went to take a drink. haha..

then.. erm.. oh ya.. went to e petrol station nx door to buy drinks. I thought that i'll be thirsty enough, so i bought a 1.5 litre H20 thirst quencher, and a canned pokka carrot juice. THEN, haha.. while i was opening e can in e court, i felt tt my finger was hurting a little. Didn't really care about it at first, but when i lift it up to see where it is painful, i saw the tip of my finger red. Haha.. was stunned. hahaha.. i calmly showed my red finger to kah yin, and she said, "oh my god". >.< me ="D" jobs ="D" painful ="=""> paindul or paingul. Haha.. yeah.. quite hard for me to type fast now.. sigh..

Guess I'm in good mood these days. =) Until tomorrow, i guess.. haha.. bad things happened, but i'm still quite happy. That's good isn't it? Yes it is, i say yes, so yes!! >=d

Yesterday, this professor came from NTU to talk about arts, media and design in NTU. XD was so happy!! but it was quite stupid that they have it in the library, with a screen so small and we have to look over so many heads to see the little presentation. They should have it in an LT what.. this kind of thing is impt you know.. Well, so he talked about animation, photography etc etc. =D so happy!! was inspired. Now i want to go NTU take animation or sth like that larz.. hahaha.. but, i have to get through tmr morning >=] am taking back my results tmr.. HAiz.... hmm.. tt makes me think of sth..

Ever since, i don't know when.. but i remember in sec sch, before exams, my friends will always ask me whether i studied well already, because i always look very calm and unaffected by this "exam" at all. Well, I'm this kind of person, can't help it. I'll only get nervous when i'm inside the exam hall, sitting and waiting for the clock to tick to exactly XXXX hour. Haha.. Oh.. and when it comes to results, my friends are nervous too, but as usual, i'll look calm and totally unaffected. Maybe it's just my expressionless face. - . - <== forever like tt =P oh.. and always, i'll either be wanting my results back or it doesn't really matter if they return us. But my friends will be.. "oh no.. i don't want them back!!" kind of thing. haha.. it's not because i'm like e smartie hermione.. i just want to know how badly i had done.. when i did not really study or even worse, didn't study at all. =D You juz have to get use to me larz.. i'm quite mad ._o haha.. or, i'm very mad!! hahahaha.. haiz.. had typed so much, with my handicapped left hand.. haha.. it's really hard to type k!! muz appreciate that i typed so much eh.. =D not like you all will read until here actually.. =P haha.. anw, i'm glad that it's not my right hand that's handicapped. Or my thumb that has a great responsibility in my life, with many roles to play. When you injure your finger, you'll appreciate them more. You'll realise that all of them are important to you, crucial, and losing any one of them will affect your life. =) *nod nod* so remember to kiss them everyday and talk to them k =) even the teeny weeny ones!! Haha... non-sensical.. is there such word in the first place? oops.. =X GP dead le..

memories

MeMoRies

不 知道为什么，突然就回想起从前。小学时的无忧无虑，中学时的玩闹，那三个月的疯狂与热情？哈哈。。。 回忆起过去时，也突然想到了这么一句话。我们会珍惜回忆，会很想念从前的生活，是因为我们回不去从前。有些事情，真的是回不去的。该珍惜身边的人和事吗？ 嗯。。。总那么说，但却总会忘记。最终仍后悔。太迟了，一切都太迟了。

买了梁静茹从前的唱片，听她的歌，很舒服。她唱歌很好听，但是要唱她的个好难！因为她可唱得很高或很低，高水准。好难学唱！好想买她的新CD, 但没钱。谁向捐钱给我呢？哈哈。。。或直接买那专辑给我也好。 =)

梁静茹的新歌里，有首歌的词儿是这样的：

差一点骗了自己骗了你

爱与被爱不一定成正比

我知道被疼是一种运气

但我无法完全交出自己

感觉很贴切，很想我曾感觉过的那感觉。事实上，到现在，还是有点迷惑呀！但是，不论如何，时机不成熟吧！也许是他，也许是别人，也许谁都不是，就我一个人也说不定。世界上有很多未知数。重新读了Harry Potter, 发现了类似这样的一句话：what we fear is not death, but the unknown. 好像是，大概是这样吧。嗯。。。不完全记得啦。 其实，什么都顺其自然，不就很好吗？时机到了，一切便会揭晓。但是，又有那么一份不安，担心会后悔。或许，我的选择是所谓的顺其自然，又或许是我累了，想 好好休息。

找不着方向的感觉，并不好。就是那份未知数？很希望我能知道我自己要什么，希望能找到我的生活目标。真担心我以后是个没用的东西啊！=D

听中学同学说，她看见某某同学与男友在一起。想想，现在好多的中学同 学都在交往吧！像大姐啊！哈哈。。。嗯。。。很奇怪。有时候，我会很羡慕，但是，我却又选择了不与他们走相同的路。我呢？其实，我真的有认真想过。有些时 候，我会渴望爱情，希望能够交往，但又有些时候觉得有了男友好想少了自由的感觉。茅盾的心情，矛盾的思虑，真想我啊！哈哈。。。顺其自然吗？嗯。。。就顺 其自然吧！

哎呀！要是未来的夫婿（哈哈）能陪我一起懒懒散散的过日子，但又不愁 吃不愁穿，该有多好啊！毕竟，我也是懒猪转世的呀！每天就躺在草地上，看着天空，感觉那微风吹在脸庞，听着那北风吹过的树叶“沙沙”的声音，听着身旁的人 的心跳声，呼吸声，安安静静的睡去，不被谁打扰。晚上也能看星星！

哈哈。。真是恰当啊！我不知为何不想睡觉，而电脑正播着梁静茹的《不想睡》。恰当，恰当！可是呢，已经五点多了。得赶快关电脑！在爸爸近来之前，赶快装睡！

一夜的胡言乱语，没睡觉的人是这样的。

blue blue blue

蓝色的世界

蓝色的天空，一望无际

蓝色的海，看不见底

蓝色的感觉，自由自在

像那一望无际的天空，那看不见底的海洋

鸟儿天上飞，鱼儿水中游

蓝色的我，在这永无止境的人生里走着

深怕会被那蓝色的生活吞没而消失不见

找不着方向，找不着退路

难道我只能站在原地等着天下起雨吗？

something that i had written some time ago, some time after i started to like blue. I think that it ended a little abruptly, don't you think so? Anyway, so far i've only received a comment about this Blue thing.. haha.. i sent it to fred forcefully >.<.. hahaha.. so he read and told me that he likes the first one. Hmm.. see if your taste is good enough to like it or not .. ^_^ haha.. well.. juz something that i wrote larz.. tell me your comments k =)

Personality Test

i did a personality test to see which evil character i am, and i'm gaara!!!! muahahaha.. but he's not evil what.. hmph! nvm.. I'm gaara!! Gaara!! GAARA!!!!! hahaha.. i'm so happy to be evil.. if it means i'm evil like gaara!! hahaha.. i shall go kill everyone now!! XD

Naruto Personality Test: Which Evil Naruto Character Are You?

Your results are in! You're not very stable up there and you're quite a psychopath. But you weren't always like that. Long ago, you innocently searched for love but people feared you as you could not control the power in you. You lost all hopes of receiving love when even your most precious person tried to assasinate you... Now living only for yourself, you are Gaara of the Sand. Oh yah, your best friend is probably a gourd.

Gaara the Metal Worker

In real life you have a great affinity with sand and metal. You love the beach and loved playing with sand since young. You like building sand castles at the beach and most possibily you might be a gourd maker when you retire. You are also likely to be in the construction industry or you will be involve with metal works.

Likely occupations: (Metal Worker)

Metal worker
Construction related
Gourd maker
Sand trader
Gourd Artist
Psychopath

It's a lil lame though.. but nvm of coz.. it's gaara!! gaara!! gaara!! XD muahaha..

i love gaara!!!!!!

blue

蓝蓝的，还是蓝蓝的。

已经好久好久了，但还是蓝蓝的。

穿着粉红色上衣，深绿色裤子，

但还是感觉蓝蓝的。

蓝蓝的，其实很美，很静，很安详。

但是，蓝蓝得似乎有点忧郁。

难道我现在忧郁吗？



今天，到了诊所去边说实话边说谎。这让我有点厌倦撒谎。但却又认 为，有些时候，我们比不得已都得撒谎。是都得撒谎，还是都要撒谎？过后，到了图书馆，借了几米的书，《又寂寞又美好》。它的英文名，让我马上把它抽出来翻 阅，Beautiful Solitude. 也许是因为最近总觉得很孤独，很寂寞吧。就算在人群中，在学校里，在朋友群众，都难免会感到孤单。朋友们都说我很会画画，但看了这本书，我觉得我并不会画 画。我想要有自己的风格，但至今，我都是在抄别人的风格。想象几米那样，没事就画画。事实上，我是这样的。但是他的没事画画所画出来的画似乎是我精心策划 后才能画出来的画。欣赏他那天马行空的画，不拘束于现实世界。很想像他一样画画，但我知道，那是经验累积，经历了很多事后才能办到的。

其实，画画的好坏似乎都是由别人来批判的。什么时候，你会自认自己画的是好是坏，完全不被人影响？画画并没有好坏，喜欢就好了。画得开心就好了。管他那么多干嘛？

大家一起来画画吧！

no sch for me please

peeps, a way to grab lotsa attention on sunday. Wear your school uniform and walk around.

don't feel like going to school. my nose is running away. i wonder if it'll continue running at this pace, or slow down to jog, or start sprinting. I hope it'll stay at this pace or accelerate. coz i dun wanna go to school. i wanna stay at home.. please dun let me get well tt soon, please. I wanna stay at home..

总觉得一切结束了之后，虽 然轻松了许多，却也多了一份空虚感。也许是已习惯了吧。你说我是个很难忘记的人，是吗？有些时候，我不愿相信男生的这种好话。因为感觉上有点虚伪，简单的 说就是甜言蜜语。现在虽这么说，但或许不久之后，你很快就会忘了吧。但也没差啦，反而更好，因为少了一份尴尬。=) 其实，到现在，我还搞不懂你为何会喜欢我。相信有很多人也都觉得奇怪吧。你的品味有点特别呀。哈哈。。。

naughty naughty fred.. tsk tsk tsk... your comment today arh.. tsk tsk tsk.. hahaha.. i can't compare with fel, fel's better. hahaha.. oops~ fel will definitely say sth like "why talk abt me again?" well, if i tell you why, you will kill both fred and i. XD so i shall not say anything larz..

最近心情还是蓝蓝的，也不知道为什么。我暂时爱上了蓝色吧。

juz updating

Juz updating, before i get more complaints

well, before i start blogging a really long entry (since i hadn't been blogging for such a long time), juz wanna say tt this time, it'll be separated into different parts. To some of you, like miss act cute eng siew, (hahaha.. juz kidding), some juicy news and updates larz.. =)

today...

as usual, i went for dance. but dunno why, while dancing 延场 today, i felt like laughing, so i juz smiled happily and naturally while dancing larz. hahaha.. which is something good. Something that I will need to do esp in dance exams and performances.. =) dance dance dance dance dance.. .. until 3pm,

then i went to TCC(tanglin CC) to meet up with kah yin, wai sze and sarah. HAHAHA.. it was a fun trip, what with kaya roti and KP. HAHAHAHAHA... due to e fact tt kah yin had complained about my blog.. this part is being censored.. XD so if you did not read it last time.. too bad larz.. oh oh oh.. and brendan is not there!! =( to think that I went there to see him and he's not there. =(=(=(='( His brother Bryan(i think is spelt like tt) aka GC lookalike is there though.. but i wanna see brendan. I wanna play with brendan. His dad is there too. but brendan is not.. brendan. brendan... brendan... kah yin says tt he should be there in weekdays, so if kah yin is not tired from mugging on tuesday, we might be able to go TCC on wed!! then i might have a chance to see brendan!! hee~ brendan is really cute, really really cute!!

actually arh.. i wanna talk more abt kah yin and KP, but i'm afraid tt later kah yin will kill me, and KP will bash me up coz i'm "bullying" kah yin. HAHAHAH.. so i shall stop here.

next, is e juicy news part. HAHAHA.. nothing much actually. Juz a full-stop to something, and juz tt i wanna thank someone =) To T21 peeps, well, juz an updated update lorz.. same to mama.. to innovians, except mel, it's very new. very new. haha.. it'll be a long long story, so pls skip to e nx part larz.. haha.. juz kidding. well, juz to introduce to e innovians, if you all remember, there was this time, PE lesson, when someone called "freddy" messaged me and mr koh actually said "whose phone arh? you juz received a message from freddy". yeah.. hahha.. was a little embarrassed at tt time. to my dear yuan yuan, freddy is "tt sms guy", to mel, freddy is "banglah" or juz fred, to iman, freddy is a mad guy from his sec sch (i think. haha). shall not talk about e whole story, juz the last part of it only. =) the most recent part and my thoughts..

Well, we sort of officially ended a relationship that had never started. =) A great end, great relief, no more tears for tt matter, no more confusions. =)

There was this period of time, when I was still confused if I do like fred. I'm scared tt I "like" him because i'm repaying his good deed.. haha.. but i'm also afraid tt if i reject him, i might regret in e future. He's a nice guy, really. strongly recommended to be your boyfriend(he's straight, jason. haha..), but that is if you don't mind him being a little immature sometimes.. haha.. maybe more than just a little larz. heh heh.. He did a lot of nice things, some really obvious actions that made everyone suspicious, and some that only I know. A funny way to begin, it all started with meiji black chocolate. Haha.. juz shared it with him and he started messaging me.

well, perhaps not just e recent parts .. hahaha. >_<>

Well, yeah.. so he started messaging me. And he messaged me more and more often, asking me lotsa things. Still remember him messaging some very obvious hints, making me suspect and suspect, in the meantime, afraid tt i'm juz being oversensitive. Haha.. so this one fine day, I couldn't stand it anymore, I did sth tt my frenz said "whoa" when they knew about it. Haha.. my frenz think tt i'm very daring and straight. haha.. i actually messaged him and asked, "do you seriously like me or are you juz kidding around?". was i mad? I don't know. hahha.. yeah.. his 7.90(juz got to know tt from him only) blue hippo is still standing with my comics in my display cabinet =). It's fat, like kah yin.. hahaha.. oops.. lucky she doesn't read my blog.

I juz wanna thank you for all the things that you had done. Thanks for showing your concerns, thanks for being nice to me. Thanks for going to Kbox, accompanying me at macs while e other play pool because I can't go in, chatting with me all this while, sharing my problems, listening to me cry like mad when something bad happened in my family, giving me advices (though sometimes they pissed me off. haha..), all the jokes, all the fun, all the laughters that you brought. I can't exactly say that it had been a wonderful experience coz of the sadness and the tears that came along, but still, it was great. Thanks for everything, fred! *hug hug, and pats your back*

as usual, wrote some things while in school, so shall type it here larz.. basically it's almost e same, but juz an additional info bah.. read it or else.. nothing will happen anw, hahaha..

23 sept 2005

1234

我 跟 fred 算正式结束了吧。星期三，到 downtown east 去参加 fel 的 birthday bbq, 我再次确定了我的感觉与感情。他并不真的是我在寻找的人。他只是一个过程，一个新生活的开始，序幕，一个经验。他是幽默，是高，但是他不够成熟，不懂得如 何在不同的场合里该有何表现。

晚 上，我跟他在网上聊天。他也说了，他觉得我并不属于他，因此他也 停止了那份对我的喜欢，欣赏。总觉得一切结束了之后，很轻松。一个正式的结束让我松了口气。不需要在为了她哭泣，烦恼，困惑。这经验，对他，对我都很宝 贵。他也说了，经过了一切之后，他学了很多。它又说我会是个好女朋友，问他为什么，他只说那是通过他的观察所得到的结论。该怎么说呢，他的这句回答令我很 感动。不知道他为什么会那么想。仔细想想，它是个难得的男生，但就是有点太疯了。

我很好奇，还会有人像他一样吗？也没什么啦，就很想谢他所作的一切，谢他给我的宝贵经验，谢他让我留有一些美丽的回忆。thanks for the wonderful experience

美丽的回忆？但不知为何，回想着从前所发生过的事，眼泪夺眶。应该是有点感动吧。难得的经历。一切的一切，有份感激的心情。我们会成为很好的朋友吧。

that's all.

It's wonderful recalling what had happened back in the first 3 months. Everything was fun. Until we're posted to different places, that was when things started to go bad. hmm.. perhaps fred was the reason why I had been very moody at times. Not always though. Sometimes, i'm moody because it's just me and my mood swings. =) After everything had ended, the weightload is lighter, life's happier. =) You're a nice guy, seriously. You'll find a better girl for yourself, i'm not good enough for you. =) you deserve better.

I'm a little unhappy with my dad now. He's always angry at trivial matters. Okay, I know i'm wrong too, i mean we, me and my bro, but still.. he's so grumpy.. so am i.

haha.. jason recently read my blog, oops.. and found out about me talking bad abt him.. eeks~ haha.. and he stopped calling me tao kia!! yay!!! hahaha.. okay okay.. i admit tt i do LOOK dao, but i'm reall dao meh? my frenz say tt i only look dao, but i'm not dao leh.. well, you're juz unlucky tt you see more of my dao side. Too bad.. you should have been in crescent, then you'll see how not dao i am. hahaha.. now it feels weird coz you're not calling me dao kia le.. hahaha.. weird weird hei hei.. sorry larz.. am juz eccentric. genius is like tt one mah.. oops~ hahahaha.. k then

last last last last last..

good luck to every single soul in innova except some ppl (evil me) for this coming promos!! esp to me!! hahaha.. k i'm mad coz of e funny and entertaining experience in TCC, watching yan yan. Kaya roti, come to me~ hahahahaha..

evil~

I am 16% evil. Take the test :: koolplace.com

haha.. not true.. i'm very evil. VERY EVIL!! you should know =) I'm evil inside out, totally, every single cell.

whoa.. very tiring to do that thing up there, but it looks nice. =)

weirdo

Let's start talking from 31 august...

went to school as usual, went through all the mundane activities, reached the very last one, the celebrations of teachers' day. While people are enjoying their show, I was shutting myself off from my class, drawing and drawing, going through the day my way. Don't ask me why, I just suddenly felt like drawing, so i just drew. My whole class is right at the front, all high and enthu, while i'm just at the corner of the canteen, drawing quietly. Suddenly, a face popped beside me, with a pair of eyes staring hard at my "artpiece". The face with the pair of curious eyes belong to one of the teachers of my school. Like all those who had seen my irresistable "artpiece", she praised me, saying that my drawing's really nice. I just said "huh" as a reply, and she said that i'm supposed to say "thank you", which i replied "oh" without a "thank you". She merely chuckled and asked one of her student, who was nearby and staring at my drawing too, "very nice right?" and he agreed. Then another guy came and said that it's really nice.

You must be thinking (esp fred, coz you always say that), "this girl's being so proud of herself again, boasting and boasting". Well, perhaps, perhaps. But actually, I'm reviewing the comments i've received so far. Why do they think that I draw well? My drawing's nice just because it's so precise, so detailed, so small and fine, and done only with madness, nothing else. Everyone can do that if they want to, just that not many are as mad as i am to attempt. You just need a pinch of madness, 500 ml of patience, a Pilot G2 0.5 black pen, a piece of blank paper or just a blank space on a sheet of paper, if you're very mad, you might need a pen refill and another piece of paper. Ya.. that's all. You can try too, and you'll see what i mean that it's not that difficult.

Come to think of it, people seem to think that I'm what I'm not. Haha.. confused? I always hear things like "did you take art?", "are you from basketball?", "you mean you're not from track?", "you must run well right?", "you're a dancer?!", "you must be real smart right! Your school results are surely very great", "You must be from a very rich family to live in town", "You're 56 kg? But you don't look like it!"... ... ... ...

yeah.. great isn't it? great. I can bluff people even without the intention to bluff them. Cool like the container in crescent and the study room in innova right? Oh.. that happened when i'm playing bridge with my friends too. Haha.. it was funny when I wanted to cheat only one of them but ended up cheating all 3 of them, including my own partner. Hahaha.. I'm a pro.

Alright, so back to 31 august.. erm.. oh ya i was drawing. after some time, I was drawing to kill time. Waiting for everything to end and i can leave and meet kah yin and company to play. Finally, it all ended. Walked alone before Cassie joined. While waiting for my train, I saw Ming Yuan. She greeted me warmly (haha.. her "hei hei"s and mushy mushy stuff XD). She was with her sec school friends, going for an outing, a gathering. After that, saw Jason too. The first thing he said to me was "dao kia". Haha.. he's forever calling me dao, nothing new.

This is going to be a really really long entry. Giving up? bye bye then.. reading on? read on then.

Met kah yin and wai sze at Tanglin CC, studied (didn't even finish one qn) for a few hours until 5, when we went to play badminton. KP popped in, think he had intended to ask kah yin to play bball or sth, or just to say hi. Kah yin asked whether he wanna join in, he did. He doesn't seem that KP at tt time eh.. haha.. oh.. oh.. oh.. and that P2 boy brandon (not sure if it's spelt this way) is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute!! Now i know why kah yin's so obsessed with him. He's irresistable! A really nice little boy. Haha.. lovable and adorable. So adorable that kah yin claimed that janice will stop hating kids so much when she meets him. Hahaha.. That's how adorable he is! Power right? Had a really fun time with him, made me feel like going there more often just to play with him. =D

Went to GWC with kah yin after that, when it's like 9.45 pm. Haha.. yeah. Borrowed 10 bucks from her, and bought, and bought, and bought.... MAYDAY'S LATEST CD!!!!! am listening to it now. Heh heh.. soooooooooooo nice!! soooooo soooooooooooooooooooooo nice!!! yay! thanks kah yin!

that's all for 31 aug.. proceed.. 1st sept.

nothing much on this day. Was supposed to meet up with kah yin to study and play badminton. Ended up sleeping till 3 pm plus plus plus.. heh heh.. sorry larz.. need to recharge since my life's a slow suicidal case. Watched Naruto!! I found out that my left arm has some kind of allergy or insect bites. I'm quite worried that it's allergy, or some kind of skin disease. Why am i worried? When i was younger, in primary school, I had 假麻. It's like rashes all over the body, very itchy, very uncomfortable, very difficult for me to sleep. I'm worried that it's that again.

lately...

I'm deciding whether I should stay as i am, which is an easier choice, or to really work hard, mug, do all my homework, study real hard. It's harder for me to choose the second one because i'm never determined, never persevered to the end. Always bored with what i'm doing, and switch to another task. Well, it's just that i suddenly have an intense feeling of being the second one.

wrote something in my drawing book just now,

"but suddenly you walk away from me"
That's The Waltz. As for me, there's a sudden urge of shutting myself off from the whole group of you and enjoy solitude. To prevent conflict, to increase efficiency as I raise my concentration level, to stop all these feelings of betrayal. With solitude, there's no need to trust anyone, no chance for any of you to betray me, to disappoint me.

No tears, no sadness, no diappoinment, no hatred, just peace and quiet, like death.

Am I being weird here or am i trying to be weird? I don't know, I don't care. That's just me, for now.

The things that i'm worried about, teachers' concern, whether true or feigned, participation in groups, something very important in future.

What do you think of my plan?

风吹着~

看着窗外那绿油油的草地，突然很想就这么坐在窗前，看着窗外的东西，安安静静的远离种种的束缚，压力。感觉风吹着我的脸庞，很舒服。但不知为何，有股很想哭的感觉。风越是吹着我的脸，眼泪越是止不住。就这样，我再一度莫名其妙的流下了眼泪。

其 实，当时我正在课室里，与几位朋友等着下一堂课的开始。我什么都 不说就突然坐在窗前的举动，令朋友认为我很忧郁。当时听到他们那么将是，还蛮好笑的，但那静静的感觉，让我不想笑。就在我泪眼迎眶的时候，同学叫了我一 声，便走过来把东西交给我。眼泪收不回去呀！只得大方得让他看到我流泪。我面带笑容的指着我的眼睛，叫他看。他却下了一大跳，还往后退了几步。哈哈。。。 男生真得那么怕看到女生的眼泪吗？哈。。。那是女生的武器吧！

tt jason arh.. cannot make it larz. Haha.. after he recovered from tt shock i gave him and put my homework under my file, he sat by the window too and attempted to do the same. After a while, he got up and said tt he's a good actor. Walked around, and told others tt his eyes have tears while the others thought otherwise.. Hahaha.. mine's more power larz.. you cannot make it arh jason.. haha.. dun think he had my blog add, tt's why i can laugh at him all i want here! Hahaha...

Feeling better!! =)

Went to school as usual with something not tt usual though it can be usual at certain times of school life. It was a continued stomachache/gastric/whatever kind of ache larz.. Had it the day before. And before. haha. past 12 am.. so it's another day now! Actually, it's still aching, juz not tt bad. =)

Anw, got back my econ essay test on production and cost yesterday. Heard that the highest in arts fac is 21/25. Wow!! *clap clap clap* what's my result? ha.. i'm far from tt 21/25, 10 marks away. But, i'm like still the highest in class? but this time, Ming yuan got e same result as I!! =D =D =D =D =D.. i think both of us muz have crapped a lot in e essay. Haha..

Oops.. I think Miss Lim found out that I don't give e full attention to e lecturer during econs lecture. Heh heh.. She saw my drawings inside e lecture notes.. Oops oops oops.. She even asked me about it.. Haha.. anyway, she thinks that i'm artistically inclined. Hmm.. Many people think that I should have taken art, but i think otherwise. Though I think that art will help me in my drawings, but I don't like to be forced to draw. It'll make me dislike drawing. My results for art in sec sch is not tt great anw, not really up to the standard. That's why i didn't choose to do art.

Miss Lim also asked if i'm interested in the animation and 3-D animation industry since i love to draw. I thought about it, and concluded that it is a possible path for me to take. However, as i flipped through e section of e handbook showing the courses in local Us, I don't see anything to do with animation. Haha.. did see some desinging courses though. Hmm.. perhaps I'll go to e poly after jc.. haha.. waste of time right.. should have gone there in e first place if I really wanna do designing/animation. So now, I can choose dance, business, animation, road sweeper (haha.. back up plan mah.. juz in case I really cannot find a job. XD) as a career. Hmm.. Don't even think I'm up to standard.

Well, gotta do homework -again-. i owe a lot of hw.. eeks~

-watching charlie and the choc factory with kah yin and mag tmr, i mean today-

Back to tt moody me

...I'm back to tt moody me...

After such a long time of happy and carefree days, I'm back to that moody me. I'm disliking school life again, finding it stressful and too demanding for me to survive. I don' feel like going to school, don't feel like doing work, don't feel like attending lessons, don't feel like studying. Being back to that moody me also mean that my tears can't wait to be released... go to school, go through lifeless days, walk around unhappily, attend lessons without the proper attitude. Today, I actually had thought, seriously, of going home once the back gate is open, and not attend all the other lessons because I'm just so unhappy. But I also considered how my parents will react if they got to know that I skipped lessons.

Why am I unhappy? What happened? I have no idea. I suppose it's just my regular fluctuations. Nothing new, happens all the time.

This time, it's even worse. I was actually thinking of destroying my own body in order to get myself out of school early and go to some polyclinic to get MC. What did I do? I was very hungry, but I didn't eat. So I had gastric, and was enduring the pain the whole time. During lunchbreak, I just sat in the little house with my classmates (who ate already), twirl my phone round and round, daze, lay my head on the table, continue dazing...

快流出来的眼泪最后却被逼回去了。我也 不知道我为什么会突然很想哭。就连现在，我还是很想哭。我知道我这么做狠傻，为了我自己都不知道的理由哭泣， 甚至搞坏我那已经快彻底的坏掉了的身体。 我想，哪一天我会就这么倒在地上突然死去吧！我这样的生活，会让我成为朋友圈子中，第一个过世的人。那一天到来的时候，希望你们不要太惊讶。不过，会有人 惊讶吗？会有人管我的死活吗？我觉得，我这样的生活，也算是在自杀吧。不过，与普通的自杀方式不同的是，我这是慢性自杀， 并不会立即见效。

无聊的生活。。。 无聊的来了，活了。。。 又无聊的走了。 生活就是这么得无聊。如此无聊的生活，不过也罢。放心，我并不会真的寻死，只不过是突然丧失了生活的原动力罢了。乏味的生活，反复无常的过着同样的日子，每天，每天。。。

我会就这么突然的死去吗？我不知道，你也不知道吧！

我就这样无聊的结束了这一切。。。 多么想真正结束一切的一切。

我又累了，又想休个长假了。又想什么都不想，什么都不管，什么都不做，就懒洋洋的躺在床上。

“别担心，你们就让我平静得走吧。“ 哪天，我若说出了这一句话，就真得让我平静得走吧。那一天，因该不会这么快到来吧。

想哭。 又不想哭。哭了也无济于事，虽然我也不知什么事。

seven swords

七剑
徐克作品

Well, i went to watch seven swords with kah yin today. Frankly speaking, I had wanted to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but kah yin has to watch with Mag, so we watched seven swords instead larz. It was VERY the EXTREMELY cool!! =D except those parts where it's erm.. quite "bloody". To add on, my beloved husband's acting too!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... first time seeing him act in a movie. Actually, it's the first time i see him in something other than 《少年包青天》. Haha.. yeah yeah yeah.. he's none other than my beloved husband, 陆毅!!

yeah.. see him in this pic? he's e one to e right. -^.^-

So.. what's Seven Swords about? Erm.. about the seven different swords lorz.. haha.. it's a movie based on the book 《七剑下天山》 by 梁羽生.

At that time, no one is allowed to learn or practise any form of martial arts as the emperor feared that he would be overthrown. (something like that.. haha) And the emperor has a special group of people, or juz army, that fights all those who learn or practise martial arts. Each head was worth 300 taels of silver. And heads of a highly skilled ones, much much more than that. So that special group of murderers killed A LOT of people, until they got quite worried that there weren't many left for them to kill. They even killed those innocent ones, women, children.

Then this girl called 小武(nickname) from a village called 武桩 (if i remembered correctly. haha), after saving an old man who sort of fought those murderers secretly, was told by him that her village would be attacked very soon and therefore she has to go to 天山 to seek help. She went, along with her childhood playmate 志邦 （陆毅！）. They met another old man, who trained 4 young men to become highly skilled swordsmen. <-- is that what you call them? haha.. nvm. ermm.. ya.. so the 4 young men went down the mountain with the 3, each was given a sword and each sword is different, very different. Those are the seven swords and the people who carried them. =)

Of course, i believe you can predict what happened. They fought those murderers and succeeded in the end，but there are many many exciting parts in between. 你要亲自去看才能感觉到那部电影有多好看！=D

hooray for me!!

Finally, i changed my template. Haha.. erm.. actually it didn't have comments larz.. but somehow, i figured out how to put it there. Phew.. lil bro, now i understand how you feel le. haha.. I really very pei fu those who do all these mad stuff. Pro arh.. pro.

Haiz.. supposed to go to GWC with fat pig yesterday. But she messaged me to tell me that she's too lazy to go out le. So we cancelled our trip. So sad.. could have done a lot of work yesterday lorz.. In the end, I just sat in front of e com, looking for blog templates. Didn't do any work, though i had planned to do as much as possible. Then.. disaster!! My ma yelled for us to help clean up. I knew that would happen. Sigh.. So I had no choice but to help her out.

Finally, I'm done with Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince. Whew~ Cried at e last part, when dumbledore died, when harry thought of leaving his friends and leaving hogwarts to find the horcruxes and voldermort. How sad... Weeps.

Bought snowy margarine and cream cheese some time ago. Guess I'll eat a lot of bread! Carbo intake rises when metabollic rate goes down = addition to my fats collection = gain weight. Eeks~ Not good. Not good.

Am a slacker. Slacker, I am. Slacker is me!

Feel like eating pizza, or bread. Haha.. hopefully my pa and ma won't say anything.. hmm.. oh! and tt means I'll gain weight again! sigh.. can't be bothered now. Ha.. wait till i'm a fatty, then you can laugh at me.

To banglah tay, so what if i call you banglah tay? You are banglah tay!! hahaha.. =D
To lil bro, nothing much to say to you, but jia you, jia you, jia you!! oh ya.. and stop tt 74.8 thing le larz.

to pei he this new template, i shall add rainbow!!

Off to prepare supper for myself sneakily.. hahaha..

camping =(

got back my most recent math test (trigo). That day after e test, my frenz and i were making predictions of our results. I was right. I thought tt if i didn't get my concepts wrong, i might get full marks. I got close to that in reality, 19/20. =) That's enough already. =) =) =) I'm moving a step closer to my proposal!! =D

Juz in case you dunno about my plan abt e proposal, let me juz tell you abt my plan:

Some Background Information
As they changed our young math tutor to 2 boring teachers. Old, monotonous, weird, not fun at all. I start to really dislike math tutorials. Had been motivated to get an A for math 9233 aft my summer test, which i got a D grade when I had expected an F (I didn't study for e test, so didn't expect much). That's how I was motivated to get an A, coz i sort of know that if i work harder, i'll get an A. =) Unfortunately, they changed my math teacher. =( Now i don't like to attend math tutorials and i won't be able to pay attention and enjoy math, which is bad. =( However, I found a new motivation to get an A grade for math. =D

New motivation
As i grew to dislike attending math tutorials, i thought of ways to not attend it, or ways to attend it but do my own stuff. And here comes my plan for a proposal. =) My idea is that I'll achieve an A for my next math test (which has gone by already with A grade) and sustain that A for a time long enough for the teachers to believe in me, to have faith in me and be quite sure that I don't have much problems for math 9233. Why so? Because, I actually thought of coming up with this proposal to request for permission to not attend math tutorials as i find them quite useless for me since i can't pay attention (or juz because i find tt e teachers cannot teach?). If not, I might suggest that I attend math tutorials with my friends, but i do my own math works. =)

Yeah.. that is my plan. But i doubt that i will really carry it out, especially when J2 is coming nearer and nearer (that is if i managed to go to J2 larz. haha). It's just a daydream to make me feel better about attending e boring math tutorials.

Have to go to camp tmr le.. I don't want!! I don't like camps, coz i won't get enough sleep one!! I want to sleep! Another reason why i don't want to go, I'm afraid of heights and they are so going to make us go through all those obstacle courses which i think is quite pointless. Something like OBS mobile is much better lorz. =( And none of my frenz pushed me down e steps today, so i have no choice but to go for the camp tmr. =( =( =( I'll cry my whiskers out while climbing up e high steps to somewhere so high that I wish to die than to stand there. Sigh.. can someone replace me for those obstacle courses? Please.. please.. please.. sigh...

25号的一堆字

嗯。。。 以下的一堆文字都是二十五号写的。有些被删除了，因为太personal了。=)

被人爱的好深好深的感觉是怎么样的？爱热奶的好深好深又是什么感觉？单恋是什么感觉？两厢情愿又是什么感觉？到了这年龄就是会开始想这种事吗？我的心中有好多好多的疑问啊！有人能提供我所有的答案吗？我想我别无抉择吧，只得亲身体验，自己领悟，自己寻找答案。

其实，我现在的观念是“爱情可有可无，不是必需品”。那我又为何会一直去想呢？不过是好奇，想体验一下罢了。遥远的未来里，爱着我的那个人，现在在哪里呢？

=*end 02.30*=

=*start 03.13*=

就这样，我什么都不想做。只想懒懒散散的发呆，想事情，休息，偷懒。当日子越来越难过，压力越来越大的时候，我越想休息。当对我的要求越来越多，越来越高时，我越想偷懒。为何得那样的把知识硬塞进我们的脑袋里呢？日子镇难过！假期块到来吧！

抓狂

=*end 03.25*=

=*start 10.40*=

突然之间，感到很空虚，很虚伪。跟朋友在一块儿时，闹啊，闹啊。朋友一离开，突然好寂寞，突然好安静。已经好久没这样的感觉了，我到底是怎么了？最近也没什么特别的事发生啊！一天之内，我竟然有如此多的感触，已是第三章了。

突然之间，好希望有个依靠。好希望有个人让我依赖，在我寂寞的时候陪我，帮我解闷，都我开心。好希望现在就有这么一个人出现在我眼前，立刻。虽然是有几个肯陪着我的人，但没有一个是跟我同校的。

=*end 11.10*=

realised that i actually removed quite a great deal from my original copy. Many things inside are way too personal to be posted here for everyone to see. Ha.. oh ya.. it's the end of the 25 july things already. Here on, it's today's entry.

Hmm.. that fred said tt he dreamt about me, a bad dream, he claimed. Of course right, any dream with me inside is bad. Haha.. however, his dream doesn't seem to have a plot. Shall i say what he dreamt? nah.. haha.. anyway i also dun really know what he dreamt about. Go bug him then!! Go now, go! HAHAHA.. i'm evil. I did that on purpose so tt people will go bug you, fred. Hmph! Not like they will though. hahaha.. eeks~

I'm mesmerised by someone's handwriting. It's soooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful. It's chinese writing arh.. anw, it's really nice. I think it has a character, attitude? haha.. dunno larz.. just find that it's really beautiful! And if i'm not mistaken, it's actually a guy's handwriting. Wow like wow right.. (erm.. stop smiling to yourself, it's not you. XD) I don't know how he looks like though, but i think i would rather not know. Just need to look at the handwriting. It's sooooooooooooooooooooooooo nice!! How i wish i can write like him. Ha! It'll take me eons to be able to write like him. eeks~

Got back our result slip. Miss Lim's remarks for me is :

Simin is a pleasant girl and contributes actively in group work. She however has to learn to be punctual and come to school on time.

Yeah.. you must be laughing your whiskers off now right... And my conduct is fair. Which my friends claim is due to my latecoming. Haha.. I was late this morning again. sigh.. hopeless arh. haiz.. have to see Mr. Koh again, then do detention again. Haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. Haaaaaiiiiiizzzz.....

Got back my econ MCQ test on production and cost today. I got better than my summer test, amazingly amazing. I got 17/20.. and one of e 3 marks tt i missed is totally soooooooooooooooooo careless. so sad.. e other one got a wrong concept, and e last one cannot differentiate between the choices.. hahaha.. see larz lil bro, all your fault arh.. tt i lost 3 marks. Hmph.. all your fault! I don't care, it's ALL YOUR FAULT!! XP

Miss Lim's comment on our MCQ test made me 哭笑不得. She said, "The highest in our class is 17/20. And not surprising, it's xiaohei again." Ermm.. what can i say. I think arh, if this goes on, I'll become soooooooo complacent that i'll just play 24/7 and end up getting Fs for every subject, which is really bad. =[ complacency is bad for health. Hmm.. my comments for this MCQ test, it's easier than I had expected it to be. After doing the test, I was quite relieved. Haha.. at least I thought that I can pass the test. XD Erm.. actually, I tried studying for the test the day before, but i just couldn't stand the boredom, and chose to sleep instead. Ha.. so I ended up all panicky right before the test. That was the time I did my TYS qns. Luckily I did my TYS qns, because some of the qns are similar. So it's really last minute work. And also, it's a little based on luck. For example, i don't really know what's implicit cost and explicit cost. Sort of got the two mixed up. So i just made a guess, and I guessed correctly, and got the right answer. Haha.. lucky bugger right. Conclusion? TYS MCQ helps a lot in MCQ tests! So in order to do well in econ MCQ tests, go do your TYS. =) Yeah.. that's my advice. Ermm.. as for luck, I can't really give you tips larz.. haha..

No one believes that my results for Summer tests are really due to luck. I passed my math, coz for most qns which i didn't really know how to do, I got e first line right. Haha.. so i got a lot of 1 marks here and there. Which are added to my other marks and tt's how i passed. Ahh.. anyway, if you call last minute work "study", then okay larz.. i sort of studied. But please take note that my "last minute" is REALLY last minute. It's different from most people's last minute. Take math as example again. I only started doing qns the night before e math test. Only managed to do a few qns, so didn't have enough practice. Then, right before the test, I was reading through my math lecture notes to cram things in. I forgot to read MI coz i was too confident in MI. In the end, I forgot the steps to solving MI qns.. sigh.. still got a few marks though. Yeah.. last minute work. Econ, I "studied"(did some mcq qns, and read through those tt i didn't understand to try to understand) for like 1 or 2 days. If you take abt an hour a day for 2 days as 2 days, then it's 2 days. haha. act i read a little at the beginning of the holiday, but of course, it's holiday. Do you think I went on studying. I'm not the kind who will continue to study.. haha.. yeah..

Just from econ mcq, you can't really see if i really know the concept well, because most of e mcq qns are e same. If you do your tys, you'll sort of know the answers. *wink* as for essays, I think tt's e one that will reflect on what you know abt econ. Which is precisely why I do badly for essays.

Haha.. lazy miaow miaow can't help being lazy. Time for the cat to sleep..

Topic of the Day!!

Before I begin on today's topic, I would like to comment tt my chinese blog is currently facing a slow death.. haha.. I post my chinese entries here too!! That's weird. Hmm... Shall i just close my miaowupmiaowdown and just post everything here? Ah.. I shall just leave it there and post some new entries when i feel like it. =) Any other suggestions?

Nope.. it's not the beginning of my topic of the day yet. MAMA!! COME BACK!! I miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you, my harry potter and the half-blood prince!! haha.. just kidding. I plan to try my best to clear up my undone work before kinia's back with my harry potter. If I'm able to be VERY unlike me, i might be able to work ahead, then I can devote my time to Harry Potter! =)

Topic of the Day

"I feel that teachers should never say that a student is hopeless, gone case, has no brains and things like that. It is a taboo!!" (said by miaow miaow) Please comment

Just an introduction to why I thought of this so suddenly. Well, I guess it's really easy to guess. One of my various tutors just said something like that. But she was more specific. As I'm trying to set a topic, I feel that it should be a little more broad.. ya.. hahaha.. broken engish. I'm "breaking" the english like a broken englisher.. HAHAHA..

In GP, we are grouped into 4 different groups based on our summer test performance (summer test = common test). As I only got 45.5, I was in the last group (Haha.. not afraid to admit this. come suan me larz..>=]). We asked her to repeat her question, and she said something like, "Arts students can never listen. They have zero concentration, zero IQ... ..."

Before I continue, please understand that I most probably am biased in this entry.. Very biased because I'm against teachers who think in this kind of way. This is my first experience of this kind of humiliation and dehumanisation and you know what? I HATE IT! Eversince my third year in Crescent, I HATE this kind of comments from teachers. You might ask, why do i have such a strong feeling against it when i had never really experienced it. Well, though i had not experienced it, I have friends who are being treated that way as a whole class. I condemn this act of dehumanisation!

The thing that I would like to highlight is the part about zero IQ. She's not being fair. The principal, vice principals, lecturers, tutors all said that we are the top 25% of our cohort. Being able to make it into a JC meant that we have what it takes. Now, she is contradicting herself, contradicting the whole team of educators in Innova. Of course, that doesn't mean anything. My argument is that arts students are not equivalent to bad students. Some people think that arts students are not as good as science students because the cut off points in JC for science is always lower than that of arts, and that students who are in the arts faculty are those who cannot make it to science or are those who cannot study. This is not true! I doubt that she thinks in that way though, because she being in this career meant that she knows more about how these things are. I think that she looks down on the whole of innova, or most. Just because there are people getting 20 does not mean that we are stupid and have zero IQ. If you're going to judge people like that, then bless you.

Making comments like "You're hopeless", "You have zero IQ", "You are stupid", "You should be in the Poly" and things like that, is a taboo! At least that's what I think. To me, it shows that you are not professional. You're not really into this teaching career. You're teaching because it's your job, but not because you love to teach and want to teach us young people. Teachers should never make this kind of comments even if they are really frustrated. It really strengthens the barrier between teachers and students. That's bad. =( If you say things like "You all don't listen", or "you are just so lazy", I won't be so agitated because those statements are true. It's true for almost all cases of students who perform under expectations. It's true for me, especially the part about laziness. I'm just so lazy. I wonder where I'll be now if I had been hardworking. Hmm... SAJC with kah yin? Or at least NYJC. Well, but i'm just lazy. I admit that there are things which we can never get along well with. For example, I can never get along well with history, unless I study 24/7. Haha.. I'm completely opposite!

When I told my classmates about what my GP tutor had said, one of them said, "You should shoot her back and say, 'Hey! You're talking to someone who got 'A' passes for all subjects.' "

Haha.. actually, when my GP tutor made that unforgivable comment, I had thought about something like that. I was thinking, if I really have zero IQ, then how had i managed to pass my subjects? Of course, all this while, i had been saying that I'm really lucky to pass, but it's not just luck. The luck made me pass of course, but the truth is that I didn't even put in a considerable effort and that's why I had expected to fail my math, econ and GP. Which is 3 out of 4 subjects. If I have zero IQ, why do my friends in crescent think that I'm really mad to be able to pass math with A1 when i didn't really touch it, didn't do homework, always got chased by Mrs. Gek. Or pass A math with A2 when the same things happen, didn't do homework, got chased by Mrs. Gek all the time. If i have zero IQ, what had made my friends think that if i had studied as much as they had, I would get around 10 points? If i have zero IQ, why are you expecting so much from me? I'm not trying to say that i'm smart, but am trying to say that I do not have zero IQ. Hmph you arh... >=P If you don't like us, just say that you don't like us!

Haha.. didn't really say much about my topic of the day.. Just said how i feel towards my GP tutor's comments

eh.. you think too highly of me?

Quite amazing larz.. First, my math teacher came and ask if I need the trigo one solutions, to check my answers and perhaps teach some of my classmates. Ha.. think too highly of me le.. My math also not very good now what, it's a D grade now.. so pathetic right.. haha

Then, my CT came and chat with me on her way to staff room. She told me that I should target higher than my fellow classmates for my A level subjects, because she thinks that I have a certain level of thinking skills. Haha.. yeah.. you don't believe it right. well, i don't blame you, because I can't believe it too. >_< hahaha.. My friend asked me to do math with her, so that I can teach her math too. That's like, wow... All of you think so highly of me, and I'm scared that I will be a disappointment. You expect so much from me, yet I can only offer so little! Haha.. actually, I can offer more than that, but i'm too lazy to work. So... well,erm.. just don't give me too much pressure and I'll appreciate it le. =) I don't want to disappoint any of you, so please don't expect too much of me. Ya.. that's all. =)

Oh.. and my results for summer test, if you're interested:
GP - 45.5
CL A - A
Math C - D 36/70
Econ - E 46.4
(if my math C got C, it'll be so cute larz! A for A, C for C, E for E.. hahaha.. oops. sorry.. =P)

I'll think of more discussions if I have. =) Till then!

eh.. setting up a 讨论会 here =)

今天的问题是。。。 啊！哈哈。。。少在这里看到华文字吧！就如标题所显示的一样，创造了一个讨论社。为何不在华文博客设这讨论会而在这儿设呢？我爽就在这设你想怎样？哈哈哈。。。 对， 对。。。今天的问题，那就是

男女之间能有纯友谊吗？

哈哈。。。如果你又看到广告或什么的，应该不难发现我是从电视上取出 这题目的。我认为，这是个有趣的题目！因此想要大家发表意见！用英文或华文都没问题，但是要在comments登出，而不是在tagboard。=) 希望大家能够踊跃参与这次的讨论！哈哈。。。sounds so funny, because not many people come to my blog.. in fact, i'm quite sure it's less than 5．X D oops.. well, just give me your comments larz.. i'll type my comments here =).

My comments:

虽然有许多人都说男女之间无法拥有纯友谊，但我却不那么认为。我相信 人与人之间，无论是男或女，都有可能存在着纯友谊。为什么会成为朋友呢？ 情投意合？个性相通？谈得来？常在一块儿？兴趣一致？真是选啊！我们为什么会成为朋友呢？哈哈。。。我无法回答，因为我知道会成为朋友不是只有上面所提到 的几个原因。大家也想想看吧，为什么我们会成为朋友呢？

据节目所说，会成为朋友代表着对方有一点是吸引你的。因此很有可能会 跨过那条隔开友情与爱情的线，而发现自己其实是以另一种方式喜欢着对方。我同意这种说法，但这并不代表男女之间不能够有这纯友情。理清了自己的感觉，心 情，想法，就不难发现自己是以什么方式喜欢这一个人。

老实说，我并不能够说很多，因为之前的四年里，我都是跟女生在一起的，根本就没有异性朋友。嗯。。。我算是经验不足？哈哈。。。还是当局者迷，旁观者清？哈哈哈。。。越扯越远了。

end of my comment. am going to talk abt sth else

也许是因为到现在，我没真正喜欢过一个人吧！也或许是由喜欢过人，但 那种心情不够强烈，不是喜欢到很想告诉那个人。我想说的，是也许是因为我没有经验，所以才会认为喜欢一个人，就该直截了当地告诉她/他！虽然有可能面临被 拒绝的厄运，但至少你知道对方是怎么想的啊！至少你知道他不喜欢你，而你就不用再烦恼着他是否对你也有感情之类的。把握时机吧！

爱情是个必需品吗？哈哈。。我不知道。我没经验，所以不知道。我没体 验过，所以我现在认为没有他，仍然能生活。现在，对我来说，爱情不是个必需品。有，就有。没有，就没有。你也知道，爱情是强求不来的。如果爱情是必需品的 话，拿我现在就是个流浪猫，等着好心（但倒霉 XD）的人，把我捡回家好好疼，好好养，好好爱。那个人何时会出现呢？我不知道。哈哈。。问题是，世界上真有那么一个人，也正在等着一只可怜的流浪猫吗？

现在，对我来说，朋友在我生命里扮演着很重要的角色。因此，我想借此 机会，向所有的朋友说声，谢谢。谢谢你们这段日子以来，一直支持着我，关心着我，陪着我，容忍着我，爱着我，守护着我。我真得很感谢你们！我不是个好东 西，能够拥有你们这般朋友，算是非常有福气的吧！我耳垂的形状，我圆圆的鼻子，都代表着我是个有福气的人。这就是我的福气吧！很对不起，常让你们讨厌，常 把你们逼得快疯掉了。这种感情，是金钱所卖不到的东西，是无价之宝，是珍贵的，是要珍惜的。你们都是好人，因为你们肯跟我交朋友，跟我这只坏猫作朋友。

谢谢你们！友谊万岁！

The things I HATE about you

Yeah.. i have to admit that for my past 17+ years, you had been a really good mother to me. You are still a good mother, really. However, I am a rebellious daughter deep inside. I rarely talk back, close to never. But right now, I really feel like talking back. I sort of envy people who are able to just tell their parents what they want, to talk back. At least they made themselves clear. I really wish that I have the courage to talk back. I really wanted so much to shout back at her, "你知道我最讨厌你什么吗？ 就是你每次不懂装懂。 每次只会在我退步的时候指责我，而不在我进步时夸奖我。 你就不能看到我如何往好的方面走吗？你就一定要一直说我会有此结果都是我自找的吗？你就不能说点好的吗？我在你心里真的就是那么糟糕吗？“

Of course, I did not do that. The only time I remember i "talk back" is when I was doing a card for my teacher and she came up with some suggestions, which I did not accept. She got a little unhappy and said some things, which made me unhappy too. I forgot what it was about, but that was the only time I ever "talk back". To others, it's not even what they call "talk back", it's just telling her something. I really envy how my friend can just talk back to her mother when she really felt that her mother is doing something wrong to her, or maligning her etc. How i wish that i can do that too.

When i improved, you did not say anything to me. No encouragements, no praises, nothing. But once the condition turned for the worse, you immediately pointed it out, and shoot at me. Is this what you call the traditional chinese way of treating your children? If that is the traditional chinese way, then that is something I HATE about my tradition. Do you know that sometimes, it's not the fact that you're pointing something bad that will make me change for the better, to strive for improvement, it is in fact, the encouragements and praises that do the job.

你难道不明白什么是软硬兼施吗？有些时候，用硬的不行，就得用软的呀！

I tell you something so that you can see a change in me. But you just said something that totally hurts me. I have feelings too! I know that it's been hard for you to be a mother, but can you just stop doing that to me? It really makes me cry a lot. Can't you just see that I don't like it that way? I had never talked back in my whole life, but if you want my "first", then continue doing that. I'm sure one day, I will grant your wish of me talking back for the first time. I'm feeling bad because I want to do something but I just can't bring myself to do it!! Why did you teach me to be like that? Why didn't you teach me to express myself better? To tell others how I feel? It's killing me!!

I also hate the way you embarrass me. Telling things which I want to be kept private to relatives and friends. Are you threatening me so that I will stop doing all those bad things and start doing everything you want me to do?

一个小学生都有自尊心了，更何况是我这个十七岁的女生？你能告诉舅舅他的儿子是有自尊心的，为何你就不能了解到我也有自尊心？说到来，你也只是会说不会做，嘴上说得头头是道，但所作所为却跟你说的有差异。

I had told so many of you that "hate" is a strong word, but here I am saying things I HATE about her. Yeah.. I'm using "hate" because I think that dislike is not a strong enough a feeling to express how I feel towards some of the things she does to me. Perhaps I will regret in the future or be ashamed of myself for using the word "hate", but for now, I'm just trying to relief my anger, my fury... so that I won't do things that I'll regret forever.

Joke of the day

Well, once again, the joke's not from me but from kah yin. After her "famous five" and "batman returns", i didn't expect something hilarious from her again. However, she proved me wrong...

The two of us were walking towards the cinema. I saw a poster, "War of the worlds", and i said that I want to watch that movie. we chatted a while, about the movies we want to watch, and she said "Oh! And I want to watch the movie 'Mr. and Mrs. Jones'." X D Of course, i stared at her, and asked, "Mr. and Mrs. what?" She got my message, but didn't know what's the actual name. Well, she's really... best at twisting the movie titles. It's Mr. and Mrs. Smith!!! I told her the actual title, and she laughed. Luckily for her, I think I'm the only one who heard that. But, unfortunately, I'm spreading it through my blog!! hahaha.. not like a lot of people read my blog though. X D At least the few of you will know =)

Hmm... Batman's cool! and rich! and black! X D

bruce wayne -> batman -> black -> bao zheng -> my husband !! -> hooray!! -> X D