nothing at all

All of a sudden, i felt like crying.

I felt like crying, but i couldn't cry. Luckily, a post in friendster managed to make me cry because what i read was how i felt right at the moment. So relevant, so sharp, so painful. Tears flowed down non-stop... i could feel them rolling down so fast.

I did something wrong, and i've decided not to touch on that topic ever. I apologise for what i've done, but i seriously don't remember. Whatever it is, I feel like leaving the crowd for a while. Not to be leave me alone as in literally leave me alone, but just don't talk to me for a while. I need some quiet moments.

I wonder if i'm fine. I wonder if i'll be fine tmr. I wonder if i'll be fine on my birthday. I wonder if i'll be fine during the june holidays. I wonder if i'll be fine when the worst i've been expecting all this while comes true. I was fine, but i am not fine. Tmr might be another droopy-eyes day. Tmr might be another feeling-lonely-while-walking-home day. It might even be a feeling-lonely-while-walking-to-school day.

I finally stopped needing to be kept occupied a few days ago. But now, i think i need to be kept occupied again. I have no idea what i really want.

Just like that, i've lost everything, and am left with nothing. Nothing, but sadness... nothing but sorrows... nothing but loneliness.. Well, it seems like i'm not left with nothing.