somehow...

somehow, i got this feeling that he knows that i like him.

He might have known it through the way i behave,

or maybe people around him tell him that they think that i like him.

Whichever it is,

i'm left with one conclusion...

Be more careful with what i say here,

be more careful with the way i behave.

I don't know whether he knowing it is a good thing or a bad thing,

but for now,

i don't want him to know.

So for those in the secret, please do keep a secret k. Please!!

No smiling, giggling, hinting, winking, "haha"ing, "heehee"ing,

when it comes to things regarding him ok?

I would really, really appreciate it!

Today's still quite a happy day. But i wonder... if i'm really happy, or i merely convinced myself to be happy. If i'm really happy, is it because my birthday's coming? Though my birthday's just hours away, there isn't much excitement and anticipation now. Sigh.. without him celebrating it with me or at the very least saying happy birthday to me, what's the point? anw, he doesn't even know when my birthday is, what's the point? forget it.. it's impossible for him to know my birthday.. impossible.. impossible.. doubt he'll even care whether it's my birthday or not.

according to the weekly horoscope thingy on e chinese newspaper, this week is supposed to be a happy week. Well.. perhaps tt made me think that i'll be happy this week, therefore i convinced myself that i'm happy. Get what i mean? Anw, the thing is that i feel that i'm trying to convince myself that i'm happy. So.. i guess this means that i haven't gotten over it. This is bad. I seriously have to learn to forget. Perhaps the best way is to tell him straight and then get rejected. That will end everything. That will stop him from talking to me. That will help me in forgetting everything. Okay... i may be impulsive, but i'm not that impulsive to do that yet. I'm a loser.. period.

my bruise is healing =) faded a lot le.. okay, random. Affected by yuan i guess.. e random queen.

Had a bad dream last night. He rejected me through a letter. =( But it didn't affect my mood in e morning coz i was only concerned about whether or not i'll be late for school. xD But before that bad dream, was a very very short good dream. He said he likes me!! Well, but e nightmare seems more realistic.

那黑色的气球，是他给我的希望。

刚开始，气球里的气很多，

但渐渐地，其慢慢消去了。

气球，渐渐地死了。。。

气球，在也飞不起来了。

可是，他又给我的气球打气，

气球又飞起来了。

他给我气球打的气，

叫做友情。

那令我好像放掉那颗气球。。。

多希望，那友情，能变成爱情。