waiting

now that i've learnt how painful it is to wait, i really want to apologise. You've been waiting for me all these while, and i didn't realise how much it hurts. Now i know.

After telling my friends, they concluded that he must be at least a little interested in me. But, the hope he gives me is like a balloon. Sometimes, he'll refill it with helium, but sometimes, he doesn't do that. So the balloon floats and deflates and floats and deflates.

whatever

I want a precise answer, at least something more obvious. I know that i like you. But i don't know if you do like me. I guess that you like me, my friends think that you like me, but in what way we have no idea at all!! That's the problem. Sigh...

I actually got happier on that sad and moody day after talking to you. That's how affected I am. That's how much you can influence me. I now stone in class because i'm thinking of you. Because i'm troubling over tt matter. That's how useless i am.

I imagine the same scene happening to you. You asking your friends for opinions, asking them if it seems like i'm at least a lil interested in you. But they are only imaginations, I hope that they are more, but i'm realistic. Some things can only live in dreams. This is one of the things.

I need some proper encouragement from you... so that I can go on. So that i'll know that i'm not wrong, know that i'm blessed. But these encouragements don't come. I don't know why, but i have this feeling that you're somehow avoiding me a little. In another way, it's like you're being shy. Someone said that perhaps it's because of my coldness in treating people in general sometimes, that discourages you from talking to me.

This is like the darkest chocolate. I can only tasted the bitter part now... the sweetness comes and goes, and it's so little. Though it might seem insignificant, but due to e contrast, they do seem very sweet. And i mean, VERY sweet.

It's so painful to wait for you to come online... especially when in the end, you actually don't come online.. Like now... I long to talk to you, but i fear doing so. I really feel like asking you, but it's too great a cost, losing a friendship. i'm not confident enough to ask you. This is a different situation from before. You are different from tt previous guy, in many ways. But i doubt you'll read this anyway.

My friends suggested hinting, which i did. But i received no response. It just seems like you're indifferent. Can you like be more obvious?